Galatea
by SN1987A - Ritzen
Summary: Ai gives Conan something to think about.
1. Antibodies

_started: December 30, 2004_

_completed: October 1, 2005_

* * *

><p><strong>CH 1 - Antibodies<strong>

-x-

Haibara stared.

The rats were dead. All of them were dead.

"My God, what have I done?" Haibara Ai asked in a whisper and opened the cage.

That wasn't supposed to happen. Among the rats that were given the APTX-4869, most had died while a few had returned to their infancy. Those that were killed by APTX-4869 weren't too surprising - Haibara had expected that to happen. But for those that had returned to their infancy, Haibara had then given them the antidote to APTX-4869. They should've transformed back to their adult forms. Yet now, they were all dead.

When the results of the blood tests came in, Haibara shuddered. Once again, nothing out of the ordinary stood out from the test results for the rats killed by APTX-4869. For the few that took the antidote, however, Haibara discovered that there were virtually no white blood cells in the blood samples. No white blood cells, no antibodies; no antibodies, decreased efficiency in the immunity. Thus, the rats that took the antidote died from the germs they carried on their bodies.

Gripping the pieces of paper printed with the test results, Haibara sank into her chair and shut her eyes. Her jaws tightened. It was four o'clock in the morning and she had rushed into the lab in the basement of Doctor Agasa's house to test the antidote she thought she had found. She hadn't even bothered to change out of her pajamas. However, the outcome greeting her wasn't the success of finding the antidote for APTX-4869, but the shock from creating another killer drug.

Haibara picked up the test tube containing the small amount of green-powdered drug she had created and stared at it. Under the illumination of the dim light in the lab, the powder seemed to glow like the glow-in-the-dark stickers. The antidote was in the green powder; the powder was the extreme form of the antidote.

On this thought, Haibara calmed down a little. She closed her eyes again and let her thoughts wander.

It was a week ago when she began making the antidote.

Doctor Agasa had caught the flu going around town. Besides the only time that she could flop down on the sofa to rest for a couple minutes, Haibara was rushing back and forth, getting tissues, medicine, water, and all kinds of things needed to take care of and amuse a ridiculous flu patient.

By ridiculous, Haibara meant the things Doctor Agasa had said when he was sick and in bed:

"Don't you like the tissue box mountain I've made, Ai-kun?"

"I am Rudolf, the red-nose reindeer. Ouch, my nose hurts... I think I've blown it too much."

"Ai-kun! Bring me some dihydrogen monoxide! Cough!"

To all these, Haibara never responded. In fact, she was surprised that they even made an impression in her memory.

Because Haibara couldn't spend time in the lab during the time Doctor Agasa was ill, she had learned to conduct thought experiments on finding the antidote while going in and out of Doctor Agasa's room. It helped. It was like when a person had been thinking too much or too hard, a random string of words could cause something to click in the person's mind and solve whatever the person had been thinking about.

That day, Conan had come over with a new box of medicine. Haibara was pouring a cup of water for Doctor Agasa when Doctor Agasa complained about the failure the medicine was in curing his flu. Conan replied that the medicine only relieved the symptoms and that it was up to one's antibodies to kill the viruses.

"Something must be killing my antibodies then, if I'm recovering so slowly," Doctor Agasa responded.

When Haibara heard this, she paused and placed the bottle and the cup of water onto the table beside Doctor Agasa's bed. Then she rushed out of the room and to the lab, leaving Doctor Agasa and Conan, who had been explaining about the impact that old age had on the production speed of antibodies, puzzled.

That was it. APTX-4869 caused the cells to self-destruct, or, if lucky, to degenerate, as with Haibara Ai and Edogawa Conan. Paikaru, the Chinese liquor, contained the ingredients to reverse the effects of APTX-4869, but the human body produced antibodies against the toxin from Paikaru, rendering the reverse effect temporary. If she could make a counter agent that destroyed the antibodies before the antibodies neutralized the toxicity of Paikaru, the transformation of the cells back to the adult form should become permanent.

It made sense to Haibara. It was probably not the best way to find an antidote for APTX-4869, but it might work.

Yet it didn't. The effects of the counter agent went overboard - the green powder Haibara had made destroyed all white blood cells instead of the antibodies specific to the antigens from Paikaru.

Haibara poured the green powder into a red-and-white capsule and examined it. The few grams of powder were all that she was going to make, ever. People killed by APTX-4869, although the poison remained undetectable in the blood samples, would still be known to the police as murdered victims. Whereas for this green powder, the doctors, let alone the police, and even the relatives and family members, would dismiss the death as a result of severe illness. In other words, a natural death that couldn't be helped.

Nonetheless, Haibara knew she was very close to finding the antidote. All she had to do was to extract the green powder to make the substance that she needed for the antidote and then discard the rest of the drug in a way that no one could find or use for unspeakable purposes. And to play it safe, she wouldn't say anything about this creation, not even to Conan.

The chemist bit her lips, unlocked a drawer, and pulled out a small, rectangular container. There were two and a half pills of APTX-4869 in it; the missing half piece had been used in recent chemical tests. After placing the red-and-white capsule into the container, Haibara reached for a marker. Just in case someone found this container and thought the pills were medicine or candy. But Haibara never thought that once she labeled the capsule, the name would become official. With a name, there came the need for people to use it.

Haibara wrote down the first word that came to her mind, and in truth, she didn't know why she used that name to identify the capsule filled with the green powder.

-x-

(TBC)


	2. Bridge

**CH 2 - Bridge**

-x-

It'd been three days since the creation of the green-powdered drug.

In order to minimize the risk of someone stupid discovering the red-and-white capsule, Haibara had left her job of taking care of Doctor Agasa to Conan while she locked herself in the lab to work without interruption. Not only was she afraid of a stupid someone, but Haibara also noticed a decrease in the amount of green powder everyday she came back from school. Her conjecture was that the powder sublimed.

A scary thought, for it could be possible that someone would inhale some of the gas and have the same sticky end as those few rats. Especially Doctor Agasa, who had been sick. But at least he had been in bed and immobile for the past few days.

As she picked up the test tube containing what she believed to be the antidote for APTX-4869, Haibara sighed in relief. Finally. Though, there were still the tests she needed to conduct on the new lab rats she'd purchased to ensure the success of the antidote - a blackish-blue powder.

After Haibara fed a tiny dose of the antidote to the two baby rats that had survived APTX-4869, she decided that she should go to her room for the rest she desperately needed. She felt like someone who'd been walking lost in a forest for ages before finding a hotel. Yawning, she climbed up the stairs from the basement.

At the top of the staircase, Conan stood with his hands in his pockets and looked at Haibara, who looked back up at him with another yawn when she saw him.

"Kudo-kun."

"You look awful," Conan said and let his gaze follow Haibara as she walked past him.

"Gee, thanks for the compliment," Haibara said and headed for her room, uninterested in whatever Conan wanted to talk to her about. She just wanted to sleep.

"So," Conan started, "how's the research going?"

The chemist rested her hand on the doorknob and groaned inwardly. She wished she never had to tell anyone, especially not Conan, about the new progress she'd made with the antidote. Now that he had a chance to confront her alone, he asked about the progress. Predictable.

Yet, Haibara hadn't had much choice. Even if she had kept silent like what she'd done for the green-powdered drug, Conan would've guessed about the antidote when she'd suddenly shut herself in the lab to work almost endlessly. So she chose to inform both Conan and Doctor Agasa that she was close to finding the antidote. To save trouble. But now...

Rubbing her eyes and pushing the door open, Haibara answered, "It's far from done, Kudo-kun, and most likely, it won't work. There's a difference between theory and practice, so don't get your hopes up. Now if you'd excuse me, I need some shuteye."

"Haibara," Conan called out.

There was something about the way he called her name. It was as if he was about to announce a death sentence. The strawberry blond chemist stopped the door from closing and stared at Conan, who was facing the door sideways. As much as she wanted to collapse onto her bed and sleep, she could tell, now, that Conan had come to see her for reasons more than just inquiring about the antidote.

"You said you knew the identity of the boss of the Black Organization, didn't you?" Conan asked, still not looking into Haibara's eyes.

Haibara became tight-lipped and her hand squeezed the doorknob, twisting it a little. She replied, "Yes, but I also advised you to give up. I further warned you of that email address - "

"Pandora's box, I know. So instead, why don't you just tell me who the boss is? This way, we can avoid using that email address and still bust the Organization."

Narrowing her eyes, Haibara said, "No. You already know enough about the Organization for them to want to dismember you. You shouldn't know more."

"Well, if that's the case - "

The tired chemist closed the door and shuffled to her bed. Instead of an inward groan, this time, as she flopped onto her bed, she let out an audible one when she heard Conan say "A-about the antidote..."

"Haibara, listen. Sonoko is trying to set Ran on a blind date, or something like it, and I need to stop her. Please, Haibara, if we don't have the antidote, how about the temporary one? We know it works..."

_Boys_, Haibara thought as she buried her head under her pillow to block out the great high-school detective's cry for help, _Their intelligence become zero when it concerns the girls they like_. Couldn't he remember the reason as to why she had forbidden him from taking a second dose of the temporary antidote? _Guess again_, Haibara told herself when the yells outside the door seemed to want to go on for another eternity.

Haibara loosened her grip on the pillow and shouted, "If you really loved her, you'd trust her; if she really loved you, she wouldn't dump you just because... you disappeared for so long."

The other side of the door fell quiet and Haibara opened her eyes, looking at her room through the slit between the pillow and the bed. She wasn't sure if Conan had heard the last part of her sentence, because her voice had decreased to a whisper. It was her fault for creating APTX-4869, and it was her fault for separating the two lovebirds. Part of her praised the statement she just made to Conan, and part of her regretted it.

If Ran was just some hot chick that Conan liked, Haibara would've given up on searching for an antidote and told him to let go. But no, she couldn't. Ever since Ran saved her from Vermouth, she'd come to see Ran as her sister. She didn't want Ran to get hurt but, instead, to be happy, and she wanted him to be happy, too.

Bringing her blanket closer and tighter around her, Haibara moved her head out from under the pillow and shut her eyes, trying to sleep. But she couldn't help thinking about the green-powdered drug. It seemed like a good idea to swallow the capsule and let the people denounce the death as a natural one. That way, Conan wouldn't have anything to say.

He'd told her that he'd protect her. He'd told her that she shouldn't run away from her fate. He'd saved her, at least once, from killing herself, and he'd probably do it again if need be. Why would he do all these for someone who'd made him miserable in the first place? Haibara knew it wasn't simply because she knew about the Black Organization. To use people to his own advantage, which might also be a selfish notion, and then discard them wasn't Conan's character.

A grim smile appeared on Haibara's face. Conan had asked her almost the same question before, wondering why Haibara didn't take the temporary antidote she made but gave it to him, why she was helping him and neglecting herself. She had replied that she wouldn't take the antidote until it was fully tested and completely safe. Was it a truthful answer?

Haibara recalled a Chinese legend. The goddess Vega had fallen in love with an earthling Altair, and they were happy together until Vega's father discovered their marriage. The father then dragged Vega all the way back to the sky, separating the two with the Milky Way. Only on July 7 each year were they allowed to meet each other on a bridge across the Milky Way, otherwise, they could only gaze at each other from far away. It was just a legend, no doubt, that the Chinese created to romanticize the two stars in the sky.

She wasn't afraid that the antidote would kill her or afraid that Gin or whoever else from the Organization would come after her as long as the people around her remained safe. She just didn't want to transform back into an adult. The only way she knew she could keep out of the relationship between Ran and Shinichi was by maintaining her child form... if the antidote succeeded. Not that she would confess anything to anyone under any circumstance. It would just be painful.

If there never was a bridge across the Milky Way for Vega and Altair to meet annually, they would still feel pain, but less, for temptation liked to mess with people's head. They'd face reality and wouldn't look forward to a meeting that lasted so short. They'd probably forget each other and move on. There was nothing to dwell on, no hope to dwell on.

She'd make the antidote, and she'd make sure it worked. After that, it would be bringing down the Black Organization, bringing it down with her, once and for all. Conan wouldn't stop her - he wouldn't be able to.

-x-

(TBC)


	3. Good Samaritan

**CH 3 - Good Samaritan**

-x-

Doctor Agasa recovered from his illness, relieving Conan from a burden that he very much wanted to complain about unless Haibara repaid him in some way or another. And he knew just how the chemist could do so.

During the next two weeks, everyone - from Doctor Agasa to the Detective Boys to the teachers at school - noticed the increasing attentiveness of Haibara Ai. Before that, she looked tired and yawned all the time.

People agreed that she became more... approachable during that time. She spent more time outdoors with the Detective Boys, spoke more about topics that were not depressing or dark. Sometimes she even cracked jokes, though they were full of sarcasm that only Conan understood. In general, she just seemed more carefree and... dare anyone say... happy?

Even so, Conan couldn't bring himself to ask about the antidote. He did try, however, to read Haibara's mind, from the gestures and facial expressions the chemist made, to imagine the progress of the research.

And while he was at it, he couldn't help but notice Haibara's frequent actions of digging her hand into her coat pocket and clenching something as if she was making sure something very dear to her had not disappeared.

Along with that observation, Conan added the increase in the number of times the strawberry blond girl looked at him. Sure, his mother had suggested the impossible as an explanation, but Conan figured it was something else this time, unless, of course, there was something on his face. Which was another story.

At the end of the second week, after bidding goodbye to Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko, Conan said while walking alongside Haibara, slightly pouting, "I'm ready. You needn't be so sneaky about it, you know."

"Sneaky?" Haibara repeated and looked at Conan, who replied her blank look with a smirk that announced that he had everything figured out.

Lowering her eyes to gaze at the path in front of her, Haibara kept silent, thinking; Conan raised his eyebrows upon finding the old reserved Haibara again.

"Come with me to hakase's house," Haibara muttered before increasing her pace.

Conan paused. There was sadness in Haibara's eyes.

-x-

Right after they stepped into the house, the chemist led the detective to the lab. She didn't bother to take off her grey coat. Unlocking the drawer, Haibara took out a small plastic bag and held it before Conan. In the bag, there was a black capsule. Conan stared intently at it. One could only imagine what flowed through the thoughts of the detective trapped in a child's body and how much he yearned for the antidote.

"In here contains the antidote for APTX-4869," Haibara said, opened the bag, and fished out the black capsule. She nodded toward a cage and continued, "As you can see, the antidote has been successful so far with an effective time period of at least two weeks. Moreover, there lies a high probability that it'll be permanent. However, I don't know if it's ready for human consumption or not - you could still die from taking it."

"At least two weeks..." Conan whispered in awe, never once taking his eyes off the black capsule. "You're a genius..."

Haibara showed no emotional response, not even a smirk to the acknowledgement. Before the speechless detective could reach for the capsule to ensure the realness of the antidote, Haibara turned and placed the antidote on the table while her hand covered it, pressing down firmly.

"Listen to me," the strawberry blond chemist said while Conan kept his eyes fixed, now, on the chemist's hand. Haibara's voice was now low, and her tone sounded like a speaker warning another about the explosiveness of a box being handed over. "Kudo Shinichi's death is recorded in the database of the Organization. If you decide to take this antidote and it turns out to be a successful one, you could put yourself in a greater danger than the one you're currently in. This is different from the past few times you've managed to transform back - you'll no longer be able to cover up your existence and plausible involvements in solving cases, save that you give up on investigating crimes, which, I presume, you'd die before doing so."

Conan fixed his gaze on Haibara, who shifted her position to face Conan and continued to speak.

"Think carefully. Edogawa Conan is not yet considered as a threat to the Organization, but Kudo Shinichi was, and he probably is, due to the several incidents of your 'revival.' People around you might be in more danger if the Organization comes to seek Kudo Shinichi. Then, of course, the antidote may not work at all, and you may die.

"You can choose to ignore the potential dangers, believe that you are more capable of protecting everyone as Kudo Shinichi, and return to your girlfriend at the Detective Agency, or you can choose to destroy the Organization as Edogawa Conan before returning to be Kudo Shinichi.

"Either way, the risks are immense," Haibara lifted her hand off the black capsule and held it out for Conan to take. "It is entirely your decision, Kudo-kun, for the antidote is yours to keep - discard it, swallow it, now, later - it is your life. I have neither power nor authority over it." Haibara then added with a smirk before dropping the black capsule onto Conan's palm, "You could still turn back, quit, and forget about tracking down the Organization altogether."

As he caught the capsule, Conan asked, "How many did you make?"

Widening the smirk, Haibara posed a question with the answer twinkling in her eyes, "What do you think?"

A kind of astonishment and fear accompanying the incomprehension of the other's inner thoughts replaced Conan's initial joy of obtaining the antidote. He asked as the chemist turned to leave the lab, "What about yourself? Aren't you going to make more?"

"No. I have my own plans."

"What plans?"

"Worry about yourself," Haibara replied without stopping her climbing of the stairs but with the same coldness as the girl who had just escaped from the Black Organization, before she knew about the concept of friends.

Yes, Haibara could just imagine Conan shrugging off her cold attitude and dialing the phone number to the Mouri Detective Agency. But there was no bitterness or anger in her thoughts. Sadness, maybe. And happiness. That was all. She knew what she wanted, and she knew what he wanted. It was just typical Conan she was thinking of, typical people she was thinking of.

Reaching into her coat pocket, Haibara clenched another capsule in her hand and halted at the top of the staircase.

"What are you stopping for?"

Not expecting his presence, Haibara looked up, with an expression mixed between disbelief and curiosity, at Conan, who walked up from behind her.

"I... I was thinking of what grocery to buy," Haibara responded and headed toward the main door, knowing that it was a lame excuse, though the fridge was almost empty. So it wasn't too big of a lie.

"Grocery? I've known people, like Socrates, who stopped and stood in the middle of the road all of the sudden to ponder about philosophical questions, but to do the same for grocery items?" Conan commented with a grin as Haibara opened the door. "Want me to come with you?"

"You always underestimate me," Haibara said before slamming the door shut.

Conan made a face that explained his belief that "Haibara is a person who cannot be helped" and called out, "Hakase! Haibara and I are going to the grocery store!" Then he rushed out the door to chase after the chemist without waiting for Doctor Agasa to offer them a ride to the store.

-x-

They walked side-by-side without saying anything - Haibara not wanting to speak, and Conan not wanting to force Haibara to speak.

_She didn't have the antidote by her side_, Conan thought, _Then what does she have in her pocket?_ He glanced at Haibara's pocket and saw Haibara's hand still in the pocket. He'd guessed wrong. No wonder she gave him a weird look when he talked about her sneakiness earlier on. But he had to consciously suppress all the habits he had when he was in deep thought to prevent Haibara from noticing anything. Although he'd never been able to figure out the strawberry blond completely, she'd seen through him and his actions more than once.

"Don't you want to turn back into who you really are?" Conan placed his hands behind his head and asked as they approached the store.

"I can't," Haibara said after a pause to collect her answer. "The Organization would know immediately, and nobody - the two of us, hakase, the three of them, your parents, your friends from Osaka, her and her parents, and maybe even more - none of us would live to see the next sunrise. Can't you understand?"

God, she was always so ambiguous with the pronouns she used. What was wrong with addressing people with their names? Conan could only wonder.

"But..."

"Conan-kun!"

The small detective spun around upon hearing his name and saw Ran waving and running toward him. He looked around for Haibara, but the strawberry blond had already entered the store. Why was he not surprised.

"What are you doing here?" Ran asked as she came up to Conan. There was the smile she always had when she talked to little kids.

"I-I'm here to buy some things for hakase. With Haibara," the detective added and pointed to the store.

"Oh. Then I guess I shouldn't be keeping you out here," Ran said when she saw Haibara looking at them through the glass window of the store before disappearing behind the counter. "But before you go, remember to take care of yourself, Conan-kun, since you've been spending so much time at hakase's. The flu is still going around, and tell Ai-chan to take care of herself as well..."

Looking out the glass window from behind a pillar, Haibara saw the smiling faces of Conan and Ran. She tried to tell herself that she had been wrong before about Conan and that she could be wrong again this time by trying to read his mind. But when she felt the capsule melting under the temperature of her hand, she leaned her back against the pillar and looked at the ceiling. No matter how much the storekeeper spent to repaint the walls and the ceiling, they would still get dirty, with the smudges of grayish black scattered all over.

Emotions would not get the better of her. She was a rational human who maintained her coolness and calmness. She knew reasoning. There was a faint smile on her face; she closed her eyes as she popped the red-and-white capsule into her mouth. Would he stop her before it was swallowed? Would he know? Regardless, it would only be for the best. He'd understand.

Outside, Conan said goodbye to Ran and raced for the store. Something was wrong.

"Haibara!" Conan called out when he burst into the store, only to find the strawberry blond chemist standing beside the pillar with a grocery basket in her hands and staring at him with a bored expression. She almost looked like a flower girl, if she was in a prettier outfit with the non-decorative grocery basket replaced and uh, if her eyes weren't so unkind and not-so-innocent and... Why didn't he just dismiss the thought? "You're... alright."

The chemist raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps you were expecting this basket here to imprison and engulf me in flames?" she asked and swung the basket into mid-air.

"No! I just..." Conan stammered, trying to find an explanation but concluding with a "nothing."

Even with "nothing" as an answer, Haibara knew. She knew that Conan felt something. If only he'd come sooner... Yes, if only...

If only?

Throughout the shopping, Conan realized that Haibara no longer touched the pocket of her grey coat. At first he'd thought that she didn't have the hand because of holding the grocery basket, but even after he'd offered to help her carry the basket, she kept her hands busy filling up the basket with food and other items. For a moment there, Conan thought Haibara wanted to overload the basket to torture him. Oh yes, a punishment for making her wait while he talked to Ran. He hoped Haibara had enough money, which she did.

"Here, I'll take all the grocery," Conan offered again and tried to grab the bags that Haibara was holding when they walked out the store.

"What is up with you?" Haibara asked as she hid the bags behind her back and backed away in circles to prevent Conan from taking them. "Trying to be a Samaritan? I'm not a weakling!"

_What is up with you? Trying to stock up for the next century?_ Conan yelled mentally.

In the end, the chemist won, and they both each carried half the load of what Haibara had bought.

"You've been acting weird," Conan said, breaking the silence that had accompanied them through most of the way back to Doctor Agasa's house.

"So have you," Haibara responded and pushed open the door of the house.

Obviously, she wasn't making the connection that he was acting weird because she was acting weird and that he was trying to find out why she was acting that way. Or so Conan thought.

When Haibara was putting the groceries away, Conan sneaked out of the kitchen and located Haibara's coat. But he found nothing inside the pockets of the grey coat when he dug his hands into them. Either there was nothing there in the first place, or the chemist had done something to it in the store.

"The store..." Conan muttered to himself and walked slowly to the kitchen. He knew he had felt something. A hunch, like some of those he'd had before, even though those concerned Ran. He had to find out what Haibara had been hiding from him and where the object was at present. Though, it was not like he'd meet any success with matters like this.

"I thought you were being a Samaritan today," Haibara said as Conan reappeared in the kitchen and as she put away the last box of tissue.

The great detective could only fake a laugh of embarrassment in response. Maybe he was worrying too much.

-x-

Haibara rubbed her throat as she stepped out of the shower that evening. It felt swollen and painful. Wiping away the condensation on the mirror with her hand, she looked into her own blue eyes in the reflection. Her face was a little flushed and she cleared her throat. She looked down at the sink and at the water running from the faucet, ready to brush her teeth, but she stopped. With every passing minute, she could feel the headache growing. Shutting her eyes, she heard the continuous heartbeats in her ears. She had no idea what the exact calculations were, so she wondered, wondered when the all-familiar thumping inside her would cease and how it would feel like. A bitter smile appeared on her face and she whispered, "So it has begun."

-x-

(TBC)


	4. Conviction

**CH 4 - Conviction**

-x-

Haibara knew that it was better for her to go to bed and rest instead of spending much of the night working in the lab. However, she doubted how much she'd be able to sleep even if she lay in bed. The fever and sore throat would be enough to make a nightmare come to life, and the next thing she'd know, she'd be tossing and turning in bed while feeling sorry for herself. But it wasn't like things were going well in the lab either.

After half an hour of spreading random pieces of paper on the table and staring at them, the chemist chucked the pen in her hand onto the table and buried her head in her hands. Damn the headache! Coughing, Haibara had to remind herself that it was she herself who got her into this ill condition. She wanted to cry. What was it that she was planning to do in the lab? Oh yes, something about APTX-4869.

Resting her forehead on the cold table surface to relieve the heat and keeping her eyes shut, the chemist extended her hand to the floor near the table leg to reach for her backpack. She found the key to the drawer, and after pulling the drawer open, she fumbled for the rectangular container. She wanted to do something with the half piece of APTX-4869, but she couldn't remember what. Sighing, the chemist shut the drawer and lifted her head off the table. Her hands reached for her temples to massage them while she forgot about the half piece of APTX-4869, which dropped into the mass of paper.

Great, the coughing fits were now causing her stomach to go topsy-turvy. All of the sudden, Haibara felt as if she'd been spinning around for five minutes. Moving her hands down to cover her nose and mouth, Haibara could feel a surge of substance rushing up from her stomach. Not good. The chemist kicked the chair away and ran out of the lab, up the stairs, and into the bathroom.

The door slammed against the wall with a loud bang and whizzed shut behind her as she entered the bathroom and threw up in the toilet bowl. So much for having dinner - it did no good in providing her with the nutrients and energy she needed. Haibara slipped onto the floor and sat there in the dark, resting her head on her arms on the toilet seat. Her mind was no longer registering the sour smell from the spew that could often cause a second regurgitation. Sweat covered her forehead, and the aching in her body was slightly relieved. Maybe it was just because she was semi-conscious. She didn't know. She only wished she wasn't sick.

Doctor Agasa opened the door and switched on the light. "Ai-kun, are you alright?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. Once he saw Haibara curled up on the floor and noticed the sour smell, he cried out "Ai-kun!" and dashed forward to carry the moaning Haibara to the bed out in the living room. "I have to get you to the hospital," Doctor Agasa said as he hurried to the living room and prepared to wrap the strawberry blond girl in blankets before they left the house, but he stopped when he heard the rain pounding against the windows. "Oh great," he muttered, placed Haibara on the bed, and pulled the blankets over her.

There was no way he'd be able to transport Haibara to the hospital without risking her getting even more ill. Although he hated to disturb Doctor Araide in the middle of the night, Doctor Araide was the only doctor-friend he knew who'd be able to and willing to treat Haibara. So after grabbing a big pot from the closet and setting it beside the bed, Doctor Agasa scurried to the phone.

-x-

A breeze blew several brown leaves past Conan, who made a turn onto the street where his house and Doctor Agasa's house were located. "Ai-chan is very sick, I think. That's why she's not at school today," Ayumi's words echoed in his head. There was something more to it than just "catching a cold," Conan concluded. Except it'd been a difficult task to convince Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko from coming along with him to pay Haibara a visit. He approached Doctor Agasa's house when a car zipped past him.

"Eh? That was Doctor Araide's car," Conan muttered to himself as he looked back to get another glimpse of the car before it turned onto the other street. "Why is he so late? And leaving in such a hurry?" Narrowing his eyes, the small detective increased his pace, arrived, climbed up the stairs and knocked on Doctor Agasa's door.

"Shinichi-kun!" Doctor Agasa opened the door and greeted with an air mixed between relief and worry. "I was thinking of calling you."

"Ayumi-chan told me everything. How is she?" Conan asked and glanced at the living room while he took off his shoes and put on the slippers. "Why did Doctor Araide come so late?"

"Oh. Well, you see," Doctor Agasa began explaining as he and Conan walked toward Haibara's bed, "Ai-kun became really sick in the middle of the night, and I called Doctor Araide to come. He said that Ai-kun must have caught the flu and that there might also be some infection in her stomach. He also advised Ai-kun to go to the hospital, but Ai-kun refused, saying that it'd be useless. So Doctor Araide left some medicine, though he also drew some blood from Ai-kun for further testing. That's why he was here just now - to tell me the results."

Seeing as to how Doctor Agasa stopped speaking and the worried expression intensifying, Conan asked with a frown, "And then?"

Doctor Agasa lowered his voice and said, "Doctor Araide told me that Ai-kun's white blood cell count is rather low. Well, lower than what he'd expected. He isn't sure if it's the low amount of white blood cells that's causing the disease, or if it's the other way around. He drew some more blood from Ai-kun this time he came, and hopefully, he'd be able to determine what's causing the low count."

Conan deepened his frown and looked at Haibara while Doctor Agasa dampened the towel before placing it back on Haibara's forehead. He dug his hands into the pockets of his pants and asked, "Has she taken her medicine?"

"Yes, but she didn't want to. She fell asleep not long ago. I think she's a little bit better now after taking the medicine. At least she hasn't thrown up since this morning, even though her temperature hasn't dropped much. Maybe she had worked too hard to get you the antidote... too exhausted."

"Yeah... Hopefully, that's why," Conan said in a whisper. Many thoughts raced through his mind in regard to Haibara's sudden illness but couldn't settle on a single idea. _And not __because of others_, he added in his mind.

"Speaking of the antidote, Shinichi-kun," Doctor Agasa bent down and whispered to Conan. "When are you going to take it? Wouldn't it be better for you and Ran-kun if you returned earlier?"

Shaking his head, Conan said, "Haibara's right. We shouldn't rush, but I did call Ran to tell her that I'm coming back soon. At least we won't have to worry about potential irreversibility of APTX-4869 anymore." After a pause, he added in a soft voice, "Besides, only Edogawa Conan can stop this girl here from doing anything stupid."

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Conan said immediately with a smile. "Well, hakase, take care of her. I'll come back tomorrow."

While Doctor Agasa saw Conan to the door, Haibara opened her eyes partly to take a quick glance at the leaving detective and closed her eyes along with the shutting door. _What are you still waiting for, Kudo-kun?_

That night, Doctor Agasa called Conan, who had to scramble up from his bed to answer his cellphone. After the call, Conan couldn't sleep anymore. He remained awake for the rest of the night, waiting impatiently for dawn to arrive in order to leave the Detective Agency to get to Doctor Agasa's house. Among the disarrayed thoughts in his brain, one image kept returning, and that would be Haibara's hand clenching something in her coat pocket. What was in that pocket?

-x-

Standing by Haibara's bed with his arms crossed, Conan asked with intentions similar to those of interrogating a criminal and softness due to the concern and anxiety for the patient, "What's going on? What did you do to make yourself so sick?"

Haibara had woken up in the morning when Conan came over, but she looked paler than ever, even though the fever continued to paint her cheeks with faint pink.

After a few coughs, Haibara answered in a coarse voice while she looked at the inquiring detective, "If I could control viruses or bacteria, I'd win the Nobel Prize for Medicine. People don't make themselves sick on purpose unless they desire attention and enjoy pitying themselves."

"Then how do you explain the amount of white blood cells in your bloodstream decreasing... s-so fast?" Conan asked, referring to the phone call Doctor Agasa had given him during the night but refraining from using the word "exponentially." "Doctor Araide said that there was an abnormal substance in your bloodstream killing your body self-defense against the viruses, but he couldn't determine what."

"You and I can't command our hearts to beat. How would I know if a doctor doesn't?"

"Then answer me, Haibara, what was in your coat pocket?" Conan asked with small pauses in between and brought his face closer to Haibara's face for intimidation purposes.

"Nothing," Haibara responded without a break in her calmness. She was expecting that question. Closing her eyes and bringing the blanket tighter around her neck, she said, "I'm tired. Leave me alone."

This was tougher than he'd expected.

"Argh!" Conan cried out, pulling away, and ruffled his hair. _Nothing?_ He couldn't take it anymore. Here he was, worrying himself sick about the reserved and helpless chemist while she was letting her life slip away. He wasn't going to try to pretend to be a job-only detective anymore. He cared! "You're dying, Haibara, don't you know? Once your white blood cells are depleted, there won't be much left in your immune system to help you recover!"

Of course she knew. It was her plan.

The chemist opened her eyes and looked at Conan. He looked as if he was going to pull his hair out and cry. Whether it was out of frustration or fretfulness, she didn't know. The sorrow in his eyes was similar to those she'd seen before when he condemned himself for keeping Ran waiting and upset. He was blaming himself again for things out of his control. He knew... then why?

"Galatea," Haibara gave in and whispered. _It's not your fault, Kudo-kun. It was only my stupidity._

Conan stared at Haibara, unable to comprehend the appearance of such a word. Galatea of mythology. Galatea of astronomy. What was Galatea here?

"Galatea... It's the failed antidote for APTX-4869," Haibara murmured and coughed. Then she explained the properties that had rendered the drug a failure to serve as the antidote - the failure, which was the green-powdered drug, which was contained in the red-and-white capsule that she had swallowed that day at the grocery store.

Conan's eyes widened and he gaped at the chemist, the insane chemist. "Why? Why did you do it if you knew the effects?" he asked in a whisper, no longer concealing any fear he'd had for Haibara's health.

The strawberry blond squeezed out a weak smirk that appeared more to be a grimace. "I'm facing my fate," she replied.

Letting his hands drop to his side and bowing his head low in defeat, Conan asked after a moment of silence, "How can I save you?"

"There is no way."

"No, there isn't, if you have no will to live on," Conan said and shook his head with a harsh smile. He looked into Haibara's eyes and asked, "Have you lost everything that you'd live for?"

"The reason I live for is the reason I now die for," Haibara responded, taking short breaths, tired from talking for so long.

"Well, then is the reason you now die for not the reason to live for?"

"It's different. Besides, we're all going to die someday. Might as well face it now. Furthermore, with my death, the threat of the Organization should decrease, since the main objective of the Organization, as far as it concerns us, is to kill the traitor - me. It's better this way."

"No, it's not," Conan raised his voice as he was bordering on losing his temper. "You're making a worthless and stupid sacrifice! And a needless one, too! Name the improvements in our lives without you."

The strawberry blond opened her mouth to speak, but Conan didn't let her.

"No, you can't. By no means will your death make our lives any safer. Haibara, you're no longer who you were. You have friends, and we all care about you. What will Ayumi-chan, Genta, and Mitsuhiko do if you die? True, with you around and the Black Organization just a step behind us, they may be in physical danger, but we can protect them. There's the FBI and the police force, and we have friends in both. But if you die, the three of them will be devastated, emotionally hurt, and there's no way we can prevent or heal that wound. They may be annoying at times, but Haibara, you know better."

Haibara couldn't speak. What would the three of them do if she was gone? Her death would be even worse than accepting the offer Jodie provided her to partake in the Witness Protection Program. Guilt finally broke through the shield she'd set up to justify her action of taking Galatea.

Noticing the change in Haibara's facial expression from emotionless to regret, Conan asked again, "How can I save you?"

"There is no way," Haibara said as she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, as if trying to fight off the urge to cry. "There is no way."

Conan looked at the floor with sadness as he knew that Haibara really didn't know a way to prevent her death. "I see," he sighed. Taking a deep breath, he turned to walk away and said, "I'll call Doctor Araide to see if there's any medicine that'll aid your immune system. Are you sure there isn't a way? Any way? I'd do anything. _Anything_."

The chemist thought hard while Conan shuffled to the phone. The detective felt like a prisoner walking up to a guillotine. As he picked up the phone, he heard Haibara's mutter.

"What did you say?" Conan dropped the receiver and rushed to the bedside with his fingers crossed. His heart beat fast, nervous about what Haibara had to say. Had she figured out how to save herself?

"Apotoxin-4869..." Haibara muttered with her eyes shut and a frown - the information on the drug was streaming through her mind like a computer program scanning through millions of files. "It might work."

"Work on what?" Conan demanded. He never liked the mention of the drug that shrunk him.

"Reverse the effects of Galatea."

Shocked, Conan took a step back and swallowed. "You're mad..." he said. "Wasn't Galatea supposed to counter APTX-4869? But failed? Haibara, I thought you wanted to live, not die!"

"Listen, Kudo-kun," the chemist opened her eyes and breathed harder. "APTX-4869 works by killing the cells, and there's a chance that it would destroy the substance wiping out the white blood cells instead of damaging the benign ones, if given the right dosage, perhaps. My hypothesis could be wrong, no doubt, but I can think of nothing else."

"No! I'm not letting you take that accursed thing again! It destroys cells, not substances!"

Haibara forced out a weak smile and reasoned, "I will die if we do nothing. I might die if we give APTX-4869 a chance. Between these two actions, the worst outcome of the latter is at least as good as the best of the first and in at least one state of the world, the outcome of the latter is strictly better than that of the first. In other words, the latter action super dominates the first, thus we should perform the latter. There is no other way out. 'The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy.'"

Conan's eyes were still wide with disbelief while he digested what the chemist had said.

Haibara continued in a barely audible voice, "I understand your fear, but believe me... I wish I hadn't taken Galatea. Also, the least we get Doctor Araide involved, the better."

Turning away to let his back face Haibara, Conan remained silent for several minutes to calm his mind before letting out a sigh and saying, "Alright, I trust your decision. Where is it?"

"In a container in the same drawer I kept the antidote. The key is in my backpack."

Conan nodded, took a step forward, and turned to look at Haibara. There was a trace of gloomy playfulness and seriousness in his eyes as he said, "Haibara, 'to forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.' We all love you, and we all care for you. Promise that you'll recover."

"I don't do promises, Kudo-kun, but I'll try my best," the strawberry blond chemist said with a hint of annoyance that the detective got back at her with the quotation business. Ah, but this is Haibara we're talking about. She added as Conan headed to the lab, "By the way, 'stupidity has a knack of getting its way.'"

Conan couldn't help but smile at the response he got from Haibara. At least she still had enough energy to joke around and... make fun of him. Though, he vowed that he'd find a quote someday to win the fight. Before he descended the stairs into the lab, he took another look at Haibara, who had fixed her gaze at the leaves being blown past the window outside. _She'll be fine_, Conan reassured himself. But meanwhile, he had to get... yeah, that.

The detective hurried down the stairs and flung open the door of the lab. The basement was in a mess with papers scattered all over the place. To his surprise, the drawer was not locked. But all the better. Aside sheets of paper, numerous floppy and compact disks, Conan found a small, rectangular container. Biting his lips, he opened it but stood astounded. There was nothing in the container, except for the row of labels of the drug names—four APTX-4869's and one Galatea.

"W-where?" Conan blinked his eyes and asked, beginning to feel tense and uneasy. Leaving the container open, he started sweeping papers and pens and the other items in the drawer and on the table aside to find an APTX-4869 pill. "Haibara, I can't find any..." he said through his teeth and tossed things onto the floor until he heard a sound similar to a bead landing on a marble floor. He looked down and saw a blue half piece of a tablet on the floor. As he picked it up, he saw the numbers "4869" labeled on it. He found it. Well, half of it. That would be enough. He hoped.

For the first time, nothing felt more relieving than to hold that half piece of APTX-4869. Conan raced up the stairs and to Haibara's bedside. Helping Haibara up and sitting beside her to support her, Conan handed the half piece of ATPX-4869 to her and used his free left hand to pour Haibara a glass of water.

Haibara examined the blue piece of tablet in her hand, wondering why Conan chose to pick the half piece instead of a whole. She closed her eyes to listen and feel the thumping of her heart one more time before an addition of another piece of APTX-4869 into her body system. She brought the half tablet to her mouth but stopped and looked at it and at Conan, who was holding the glass of water and looking back at her with hesitation.

The chemist knew very well that she could still die even with the theoretically improved survival likelihood. And she wanted no more regrets.

_You still don't know anything_, Haibara thought as she looked into Conan's eyes and brought her face closer to Conan's face. _Nor do I want you to know, Kudo-kun. Only..._ She placed a small kiss on the detective's lips and put the half tablet into her mouth. She had to take the glass out of Conan's hand to drink the water, for Conan was left stunned.

-x-

(TBC)


	5. Grapes at the Funeral

**CH 5 - Grapes at the Funeral**

-x-

Wringing the towel dry and placing it on the sleeping figure's forehead, Doctor Agasa creased his eyebrows with concern as he studied Haibara's flushed face. Her fever was worsening. Unable to decide what would be the best for Haibara, Doctor Agasa looked toward the other end of the bed where Conan, staring at the floor, stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Shinichi-kun," Doctor Agasa said. "Wouldn't it be better if we took Ai-kun to the hospital? Her condition seems to be worse than how it was earlier."

Conan didn't respond, and Doctor Agasa's sigh followed. _He's been in deep thought ever since I came to check on Ai-kun_, Doctor Agasa noted as he recalled the expression on Conan's face when he'd entered the room. There'd been commiseration, tenderness, incomprehension, and regret in Conan's eyes, and there still were, making Doctor Agasa wonder what had happened between the detective and the chemist during the time he was in the kitchen. Maybe he should've stayed.

"Shinichi-kun?" Doctor Agasa called out again with a louder voice.

Startled, Conan's gaze darted around, from the floor to the window to Doctor Agasa's slippers but never fixing on anyone's face, and he said, "Ah, yes. I mean, no. Sh-she'll be fine. It's just..." He finally lifted his head to look at the unconscious chemist while his voice trailed off.

"Just what?"

Shaking his head, Conan answered, "Nothing. You don't have to worry about it, hakase."

Well, at least Conan hoped that neither of them had to worry about it. The rising temperature of Haibara's body should've resulted from the bone-melting heat that APTX-4869 caused, although this time, Haibara had slipped into the state of unconsciousness without going through the heart-splitting pain Conan remembered.

As Conan grabbed his jacket and flung it over his shoulder while walking to the door to put on his shoes, Doctor Agasa raised his eyebrows and asked, "Are you leaving, Shinichi-kun? Wouldn't you rather stay for lunch? I've already prepared food for you."

"No, it's alright," Conan replied as he opened the door. "I told Ran I'd be back by noon."

A lie, but nobody needed to know about it. Unbeknownst to Doctor Agasa, Conan, for once, wanted to get away from a problem he was facing. To be exact, he wanted some fresh air to clear his mind so that he could think. Remaining at a place where he could catch glimpses of Haibara's face wasn't going to help. No longer did he know how to face the strawberry blond.

Before shutting the door, Conan added, "Call me when she wakes up."

"No problem," Doctor Agasa said as the door clicked shut. Still puzzled by Conan's behavior, Doctor Agasa glanced at Haibara's reddish cheeks, torn between the decision of sending her to the hospital and the choice of leaving her alone. After repeating the actions of taking a step or two toward the phone and then retreating to his initial position afraid that Haibara would be upset about being warded in a hospital, he was saved by the phone's ringing. "Hello?" Doctor Agasa picked up the receiver and greeted.

-x-

A cool breeze penetrated Conan's sweater and he shivered. Nevertheless, he didn't put on his jacket but, instead, held it over his shoulder as if it was his backpack. The smell of the falling leaves in autumn filled the air as Conan walked down the streets. A few children ran past him, chasing after a ball. Their laughter blended into the sound that the cars driving-by made.

Conan paused midway and examined the path in front of him. How many times had he walked down the same road when he was Kudo Shinichi, and how many times when he was Edogawa Conan? So many of these were with Mouri Ran, and some with Haibara Ai.

He remembered the times when he'd be bragging about his deduction skills with an inflated ego while Ran complained that he had too many fangirls. Then there were times shared with Haibara when they discussed about the Black Organization. They were so different - Ran and Haibara. The times were so different.

All this time, Haibara was a friend, and Ran was his crush. It was what he was working for - to turn back into Kudo Shinichi. And he had all that it was needed to return to his identity. He had the antidote.

Conan moved his hand, bringing the jacket in front of him, and searched for the antidote in the pockets of the jacket. Holding the black capsule in his palm, Conan wondered if it was necessary for Haibara to go through everything she was experiencing. She exhausted herself due to the endless hours of research and experimentation to produce something for someone totally unrelated to her, for someone that if...

_"Idiot! Girls only look at boys in such a way, with the exception of something stuck on your face, when they like you!"_

His mother's words, along with the recollection of Haibara's small but soft and warm kiss, which made him blush slightly, led to Conan's realization that maybe Haibara was doing all that she was because she liked him. As much as it seemed ridiculous when he first learned of this idea and it seemed true presently, he wasn't sure. Haibara had been working so hard to bring him back to Ran.

Returning the black capsule back to its original place, Conan continued his walk to the Detective Agency. He couldn't understand why Haibara chose to conduct such an act before taking APTX-4869. Knowing her, she should've kept her emotions within her just like what she'd always done. Not that he preferred her indifferent mask. It was just weird.

Then suppose her illness got the better of her and governed her mind with irrationality. One of the possibilities would be that she'd never even know the incident took place, which would save a lot of trouble. But if her intention was to let him know how she felt, and she remembered, how should he response?

Haibara was unlike any other girls who'd expressed likings toward him. She was someone he'd promised to protect and someone who'd protected him. So they weren't totally unrelated. They understood each other's situation and could talk to each other about it, instead of suppressing everything about the Black Organization completely and running the risk of either becoming insane in consequence of the pressure or being killed.

This sort of intimacy had led to confused jealousy: Mitsuhiko and Ayumi had wondered about the relationship between Conan and Haibara but were reassured, by Conan and by Haibara respectively, that it was just friendship.

Yup, they were just friends, Conan concluded. And Haibara was probably just kidding. She liked to do those kind of things - joking around to scare people. He wasn't going to fall for any of those anymore.

Arriving at the Detective Agency, Conan took a deep breath, feeling very triumph that he "solved" the mystery regarding Haibara's kiss, and climbed up the stairs leading to the door of the Agency.

"I'm back," Conan announced as he opened the door and stepped inside.

"Oh, welcome back, Conan-kun." Ran looked up from the letter she was reading to Kogoro, who, as usual, was watching the videotaped version of Yoko's performance, and asked, "How's Ai-chan?"

"She's fine."

"I'm glad to hear that," Ran smiled and resumed reading the letter for her father. "'Please, I look forward to your aid, Detective Mouri. Sincerely, Cathy Choi.' Wow," Ran gasped as she read the postscript. "She's willing to pay one billion yen!"

"Ooh!" Kogoro jumped up, beaming, and grabbed the piece of paper from Ran to reread it. "It's from a beautiful and rich young lady!"

"Beautiful and young?" Ran muttered with annoyance. "Don't you think you're using a little too many adjectives? Besides, how would you know? Maybe she's just some old grandma."

"Old grannies," Kogoro yelled and waved the piece of paper in front of his daughter's face only to lose it when his daughter snatched it out of his hand, "don't use perfumes this special!"

Bringing the crumbled piece of paper to her nose, Ran remarked while placing the letter on the table after being bombarded by the smell she'd thought came from elsewhere, "Grapes? Do such perfumes exist?"

Curious, Conan picked up the letter and glanced through the text. He had to admit, the smell was strong when the paper was brought close enough to the nostrils, otherwise, it seemed to come from a distant basket of grapes. It was as if someone had spilled grape juice over the piece of paper. The short letter was typed with a lack of details of the case involved - murder of the client's brother. One billion yen was a lot for solving a seemingly simple case as depicted in the letter. These rich people...

Conan threw the piece of paper onto the table as Ran told him to get ready if he wanted to go with them to meet Cathy. It wouldn't be such a bad idea, Conan decided, since he did want to do something to get his mind off thinking about Haibara. Going to a case was much better than his initial plan of playing video games for the rest of the afternoon.

Cathy didn't live too far away. They arrived after ten minutes of driving, and Conan noticed the two police cars parked in front of the building. So the police was here already. A reverse of the usual sequence, but he wasn't surprised since the letter stated that the client's brother was dead.

Kogoro, Ran, and Conan took an elevator to the sixth floor of the building and found the apartment Cathy lived in. A couple minutes after Kogoro rang the doorbell, the door opened and Takagi's face peered out.

"Ah, it's you guys!" Takagi cried out in surprise.

"Inspector Takagi!" Kogoro and Ran exclaimed with widened eyes.

Kogoro asked, "Do you live here?"

"Oh, no," Takagi said and moved aside while holding the door to allow the trio to enter the apartment. "Miss Choi called us here again in regards to her brother's death."

"Again?" Ran asked and blinked her eyes while observing the room.

Aside the few police officers that she recognized, there were some other people dressed in black talking amongst themselves. Relatives of Cathy, she presumed.

Things were different for Conan, however. At the sight of the black clothes, the images of Gin and Vodka floated in front of his eyes. He shook his head, ruffled his hair, and reminded himself, _These people are mourning. I should stop becoming so paranoid._

"What exactly is going on here?" Kogoro added to the question Ran had just posed and looked around.

Besides the crowd of people, the living room stood relatively empty. Once one ascended the stairs, located to the left of the entrance, leading into the living room from the small, square corridor of the entrance, one faced the only window in the living room. It was a large window, similar to the glass doors opening to a balcony. But there was no balcony for this particular room of the apartment. In the left half of the living room, there was a plum-colored leather sofa set - composed of a main L-shaped sofa and an armchair. A large china vase of about a meter decorated with white and blue patterns filled the gap of the "n" made between the L-shaped sofa and the armchair. To complete the set, a maroon tea table stood in the empty space between the legs of the "n." Opposite of the sofa was a refreshment table, temporarily set up for the guests in the apartment. If one turned right immediately after stepping into the living room, one would enter a narrow hallway that led to the other parts of the apartment. Overall, including the wooden floor and the ordinary ceiling light, the room wasn't impressive.

"Most of the people here are relatives of Miss Choi," Takagi explained and pointed to a young lady arguing with Chief Inspector Megure near the window. "And that is Miss Choi. They've just returned from the funeral for the deceased."

_That Miss Choi has great taste for her outfit_, Conan noted with raised eyebrows and weariness.

Although she wore black, she reminded Conan of women from the Enlightenment era. At least her big, puffy skirt portion of the dress did. And her hat as well, which she had tucked her hair under. They were all... antique-styled. These were all that Conan could distinguish from the distance and the side-view of Cathy.

Takagi continued, "When her brother died five days ago, she called the police and demanded that an autopsy be conducted; she didn't believe us when we told her that her brother wasn't killed. But even the results of the autopsy indicated that it wasn't homicide. Now, after the funeral, she still insists that it was murder."

"And I wouldn't be surprised if it was murder, now that I see you here," Chief Inspector Megure said as he walked across the room toward the famous "sleeping Kogoro," followed by Cathy, who maintained a small, sad smile on her face.

"Detective Mouri," Cathy greeted and took off her hat, letting her hair fall lose to an appreciable amount past her shoulder.

Her voice was calm and low, as if she sang too much when she caught a cold. Furthermore, she had a foreign accent. From her name, Conan could tell she wasn't Japanese, but instead of the accent he was anticipating, Cathy had a French accent. She'd curled her hair and dyed it blond, which quite took away her beauty. A portion of her hair had been clipped to the back of her head, but after the intervention of tucking the hair into the hat, it was all messy. Her large, light brown eyes twinkled and inspected Conan with interest before looking at Kogoro again. A pair of huge, silver hoop-shaped earrings dangled from her ear lobes. There was the same grape juice smell from her as from the letter she'd sent.

_Twenty years old?_ Conan estimated.

"Really," Chief Inspector Megure addressed Kogoro with frustration. "You should stay home from now on. Besides, this case is closed."

Laughing nervously, Kogoro said, "It can't be helped. I'm a detective. So then, Inspector, did you think it was suicide?"

"No!" Cathy shouted. "It's murder!"

Conan thought, _I don't even know the details of this case..._

"It's natural death, Miss Choi!" Inspector Megure yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you? Your brother died of the flu!"

"What!" Kogoro and Ran cried out with extraordinary astonishment. _Just how much stranger is this going to get?_ Conan mentally commented, also surprised but felt partly insulted as well.

"Who do you think I am?" Kogoro yelled into Cathy's face. "A microbiologist?"

"Listen!" Cathy raised her hands, hat in her right hand, to stop the detective and the inspector from further shouting. "My brother was recovering from the flu when we ran out of medicine, but after he began taking the new box of medicine we bought, he became more ill! How can the pills not be the source of his death? Don't you find it strange?"

"But Miss Choi," Takagi said, unintentionally provoking Cathy. "We found nothing abnormal with the sample medicine pills we ran tests on. Even your colleagues verified the results."

"I may not know how exactly the medicine could've poisoned my brother, but because I am a doctor, I know he couldn't have died from an ordinary flu! Taking into account the amount of people who die from influenza each year!"

_She's got quite a temper_, Conan observed. But he began to regard the conversation exchange before him with interest. They seemed to be arguing over the literary interpretation of a novel instead of the cause of a person's death, even though it would be more interesting and challenging to focus on determining the cause of the death of Cathy's brother. Conan left the piling crowd, still disputing, at the staircase to walk around the room in search of clues, though he doubted he'd be able to find anything worthwhile.

"I tell you," Cathy's voice grew louder and louder. "It was his white blood cell count that wasn't right!"

_What?_ Conan spun around and stared at Cathy wide-eyed. It wasn't a simple case after all. _Haibara..._

"Hey!" Conan shouted and ran toward Cathy. "Do you still have any of those medicine samples?"

"Uh, yeah," Cathy fell quiet, alarmed by Conan's sudden shout, and extended her hand to where a handbag would normally be but discovered that she didn't have her bag with her. "Excuse me," Cathy said with a sheepish grin and hurried down the hallway.

Kogoro punched Conan's head and hollered, "Are you going to say this is murder again?"

Glaring at Kogoro, Conan pulled out his cellphone and decided to ignore Kogoro for once. There was a call he needed to make.

_Ah!_ Conan thought in alarm. _I forgot to turn on my phone! Dammit!_

As he dialed the number to Doctor Agasa's house after turning on the phone, Cathy returned with a small white bottle and handed it to him.

_Pick up, pick up!_ Conan thought frantically as he thanked Cathy while Ran looked at him in amazement.

"Conan-kun." Ran bent down and asked, "Who are you calling?"

Squeezing out a smile, Conan stammered before running out the door, "U-um, Ran-neechan, I have to leave now. I told hakase I'd go back around this time."

"Hey, wait!" Ran called out. "Conan-kun! We're leaving soon, so come back and we'll send you there! It's still a decent amount of walking distance from here to hakase's house!"

But the little detective had already entered the elevator.

Hanging up the failed phone call, Conan opened the small bottle in his hand and peered inside. The pills looked like normal medicine, compared to the somewhat odd-looking capsules Haibara made. Nevertheless, Haibara would have to explain the pills in the bottle he held in his hand.

The elevator reached the first floor and Conan recapped the bottle. He rushed out while dialing the number to Doctor Agasa's cellphone. To his dismay, the phone line was busy.

"Argh," Conan growled and dialed to the house again.

As he waited and hoped for someone to pick up the phone, something that Haibara had once said a long time ago re-emerged in his mind. Along with it was an image of Haibara hiding behind him, clinging onto his sleeve, putting faith and trust into him... to gain trust. She said, _"I don't want you to call me a murderer anymore."_

_Well then, Haibara, if the medicine I have in my hand is what I think it is, how would you explain yourself?_ Conan thought with bitterness and a deep frown, racing down the streets and becoming more worried with every passing minute without the phone being picked up. _Where did they go? Hakase?_

-x-

The door was locked. Through the windows, Conan could see an empty bed. Deciding to try Doctor Agasa's cellphone one more time, he was interrupted by a car pulling up at the gate and a calling of his name.

"Conan-kun," Ran called out from the car window and opened the door, motioning Conan to get in the car. "Agasa-hakase called, saying that he brought Ai-chan to the hospital. He tried to contact you, but couldn't. You're worried about Ai-chan, aren't you?"

Surprised by the news, Conan remained at the same spot without moving for a second before running to and jumping into the dark blue Mercedes, which belonged to Cathy. He didn't pay attention to the conversation between Ran and Cathy, however, although he managed to grasp the reason Cathy was sending them to the hospital. Not long after he'd run out of the apartment, Doctor Agasa called Ran, and when Cathy learned of it, she volunteered to give Ran a ride to the hospital since she was about to return to work anyway; Kogoro had wanted to return to the Agency instead.

Conan thought hard on the way. He still hadn't understood the reasons for Haibara's actions earlier during the day. Heck, he'd probably never understand anything that the strawberry blond did. He wanted to believe that Haibara never planned to have the drugs she developed to be used as weapons to kill, but he decided that it would be better to arrive at a conclusion after talking to the chemist. If the Black Organization were involved without Haibara's knowledge, the situation would be very different from the one rising as consequence of Haibara's own decisions.

Speaking of which, what did Cathy Choi have to do with any of this? Looking up from the seat, Conan inspected Cathy's face, but she looked innocent and unknowing of the happenings around her. Then Conan caught glimpse of the key chain of Cathy's car key in the ignition. It was a long, golden, decorative key, similar looking to treasure box keys, spinning around along its axis like a paper star hanging from a string and dangling in the wind.

_Of course_, Conan thought as he sat up straight, keeping his eyes on the key chain. Knowing he wanted to be a present-day Sherlock Holmes, Haibara decided to give him an ultimate mystery to solve. All along, there'd been one door, but the path to that door was distorted into a labyrinth. Without the key, even if he made it through the maze, he still wouldn't be able to open the door. So he never bothered to try hard enough. However, he now held the key. He was already in the middle of the maze; there would be no turning back. Haibara liked him. No, probably more than that.

-x-

(TBC)


	6. From Grey to Blue

**CH 6 - From Grey to Blue**

-x-

Quietness. The world, or at least the surrounding environment, was quiet except for the occasional sound of a passing vehicle.

Haibara fluttered her eyes open and focused them on the ceiling above her in the dark. Aside from the dizziness, the sore eyes, and the slightly sore throat, she felt none of the other pains that had plagued her some time ago she last remembered being awake.

Wait. Where was she? Hadn't she died yet?

Before she could make out the details of the room that was unlike that of Doctor Agasa's house, Haibara fixed her eyes on a small figure sleeping in the chair next to the bed. Conan. If anything in the ordinary world could fascinate the detached chemist, it would definitely be the pleasant position the small detective was sleeping in.

With his right arm dangling over the armrest and his mouth hanging open, his head was in danger of applying a torque to his body pass the support point. Consequently, it would either make him topple over with the chair or break his neck. Either way, it'd be quite amusing to watch, if he didn't wake up soon enough. His other hand rested on his laps, and his legs were stretched out in front of the chair. Slumped in the chair in such a position, he looked dead.

Whether it was because of Haibara's stare or just the uncomfortable position he was in, Conan stirred, sitting up straight, stretching, massaging his neck and scratching his head while he opened his eyes to check on Haibara. They remained silent, staring at each other.

Putting down his hands and bringing his legs closer to the chair, Conan asked with a hint of incredulity, "I'm hallucinating, aren't I?"

"Yeah."

After a blink and a smile, Conan said, "Glad to have you back. You've been sleeping for two days."

There was silence. There was the stare.

Transferring her gaze to the ceiling, Haibara sighed and mumbled, mostly to herself but also expecting some sort of explanation, "I failed."

With a loving, sympathetic look, similar to those given by adults awing cute and innocent actions that children conducted, Conan said in a soft tone, "I guess so. However, APTX-4869 did seem to have bought you some time. Doctor Araide had planned for you the rare white blood cell transfusion, but when he re-tested your blood, he said you only needed an immunoglobin transfusion to temporarily boost your immune capability. It appeared that your white blood cells were reproducing at a normal rate for a flu patient; it was just that your flu had worsened."

After a pause, Haibara looked at Conan again and muttered, "I see."

Still as apathetic as ever, thought Conan, resting his elbow on the armrest and supporting his head with his hand.

"How did I come to being in the hospital?" Haibara asked.

"Oh, hakase brought you here," Conan replied and leaned back into his chair, placing his hands on his laps. "He told me that when he was debating over what he should do with you - to send you to the hospital or to keep you at home - Doctor Araide called saying he knew how to help you recover. And so..."

He was followed by another awkward period of silence along with their observations of each other's gestures and facial expressions, if any. Both were waiting, calculating, without anything really going on in their heads.

"Uh, Haibara. I, um, I want to ask you something..." Receiving no response from Haibara, Conan continued, interpreting the indifference as a sign to go on, "Since APTX-4869 didn't kill you and didn't seem to have done anything else special, why didn't you shrink some more?"

This time, he did get a response - Haibara glared - an accusation demanding an explanation for such a treacherous thought that desired the further shrinkage of the chemist.

Grinning with silliness to sue for peace, Conan waved his hands to signal his surrender and said, "Hey, no harm done! I was just curious."

"I don't know," Haibara answered and turned to face the other wall in order to get some sleep and not more random, relatively insulting questions regarding her personal well-being... even if he had good intentions.

Her body's null response to another dosage of APTX-4869 - void without taking into account the aid the drug provided to combat influenza viruses - chilled Haibara's thoughts. There came a need for a new theory as to how APTX-4869 worked. Simply by chance that she and Conan swallowed the two pills that did what the drug was theoretically supposed to do - reintroduce youth to the body once more - could be possible and was what she'd thought for so long. But to survive twice in a row from taking the unsuccessful prototype that did a job deviating from her hypothesis created turbulence in her mind.

"Uh..." Conan started, causing Haibara to half turn around with annoyance waiting for him to speak. "Do you remember..." Conan struggled with the words while tapping his index fingers together and looking away with his heart pounding and face burning. "What happened before...you took APTX-4869?"

Haibara straightened her face, closed her eyes, and responded firmly, "No." Opening her eyes, she caught a glimpse of a half-disappointed and half-relieved Conan before she asked with a smirk, "Why? Did you embarrass yourself? Care to share?"

It was as if a chemist's hobby was to torment a detective in all plausible ways.

"No!" Conan yelled, glaring with a red face. _This wretch! I bet she remembers!_ "Forget I asked!"

Smirking, glad that the deed had been done, Haibara faced the other side of the room and thought with her eyes shut, _The last day of Pompeii cannot happen all over again._

Speaking, or rather, thinking of which...

Haibara turned around half way once again to face Conan and asked, "Hey, when will I be discharged?"

"Soon, I suppose. How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic. Tell hakase I'd like to leave the hospital by noon tomorrow. Or is it today already?"

"Noon today!" Conan exclaimed. "That's not what I meant by 'soon'!"

Instead of arguing, as what Conan had expected, Haibara gave Conan a meaningful look. There were yearnings for understanding and feelings of trepidation in her eyes.

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Conan agreed. "Okay, I'll try. Go to sleep now - you look tired. Don't worry, I'll be here."

Haibara hesitated for a second, but knowing Conan, she nodded and pulled the cover tighter around her to sleep.

_I guess it'd be better to ask her later when she's better_, Conan thought, shutting his eyes as well for some snooze.

An hour or so later, Conan woke up, wanting to go to the bathroom. Making sure Haibara was in deep sleep, he told Haibara where he was going, even though he felt stupid talking to someone asleep, but he didn't want her to freak out should she suddenly wake up. Just in case.

When he came out of the bathroom down the hallway in the hospital, he heard a female voice coming from around the corner.

"Yes, everything is going according to plan, Boss." It was a familiar low, coarse, and foreign-accented voice. "Don't worry. My father will transfer the money to your account tomorrow... Ah, Gin... huh, he'll have to wait. I have a personal matter to settle with Sherry first..."

_What? Haibara!_ Stunned, Conan glanced down the hallway to where the door of Haibara's room was located. It wasn't close enough for him to reach without being perceived as peculiar.

Oh no, she's coming! Conan jerked his head toward the turn at the corner upon hearing the clapping-shut of the phone and the tapping of the footsteps. He backed into the door and slid into the bathroom, knowing that a confrontation must happen in order to protect Haibara and to keep him off the suspect list.

Taking a deep breath, he reopened the door to walk out, prepared, but accidentally bumping into the person, who was dressed in a doctor's coat. Okay, not exactly what he'd meant by "confrontation," but sure, why not? The more natural he appeared before the enemies, the more he would decrease their awareness.

Time to play.

The detective-turned-actor looked up with a childish apologetic grin and said, followed by a faked sudden recognition of the person in front of him, "I'm sorry! Ah, Cathy-neechan!"

"Why, hello there!" Cathy squatted and smiled. "Aren't you the little kid with the Mouris? Conan, is it? What are you doing here so late? Visiting hours have long passed - it's almost two in the morning. Shouldn't you have gone home with Ran-chan?"

"But Cathy-neechan, you haven't gone home either."

Cathy laughed at the "naiveté" of the child before her and patted his head. "Cathy-neechan is a doctor, who is on duty right now and cannot leave."

"Then I am on duty, too! I am the box-ghost! Fear me if you are square!" Conan spread out his arms, whirled around, pretending there was a cape flapping behind his back, and zoomed off, narrowing his eyes as he went along.

Man, he hated this body and the kind of tactic he was forced to use in his status. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to change back to his true self and to have the ability to actually kick the faces of the bad guys like how he'd kick soccer balls. And Genta had been making him watch too many cartoons. The box-ghost? Why didn't he pick someone like the Batman, who in fact had a cape and was more... heroic? Well, sort of.

Behind him, Cathy laughed harder but tried to stop herself, reminding herself that she was at a hospital, and watched as Conan disappeared into a patient's room. Standing up, she took a step toward the other direction while keeping her eyes fixed on the position she last saw Conan as a smile - one signaling victory - crept up her face.

_No wonder Vermouth is so protective of you. Unfortunately, the opening act is ending. I'm afraid I like that cute little head of yours just a little too much, tantei-san..._

Down the hallway inside Haibara's room, Conan breathed heavily as he backed away from the door with caution, activating his stun-gun wristwatch and power-assisted kick-shoes.

_Damn, I was too distracted these few days. I never expected that this would be Cathy Choi's part in the game. What now?_ Conan asked himself, heart pounding at a fast rate, sat down in the chair, and glanced at Haibara before fixing his narrowed eyes on the door. _Why haven't they killed us yet? How similar in motive is Cathy Choi to Vermouth? What grudge does she have against Haibara?_

After what seemed to be an eternity of quietude, Conan let out a breath and focused his attention on Haibara, whom the events happening nearby hadn't seemed to disturb at all. _I really don't understand this girl. Someone, probably right outside the door, is after her life, yet she sleeps like a dead pig. Weird_, Conan thought as he inspected the sleeping face of the strawberry blond and smiled. _I've never seen her sleep with such a peaceful expression before. So adorable. Why can't she be just as sweet when she's awake?_

-x-

Conan and Haibara managed to convince Doctor Agasa, Doctor Araide, and the nurses that Haibara was ready to be released from the hospital. Even Haibara was a little surprised by Conan's eagerness to get her out of the hospital.

That afternoon, Haibara received a lot of visitors. Surrounding her at the bed were the Detective Boys while Ran was preparing snacks in the kitchen.

"Ai-chan, how are you feeling?" Ayumi asked, right after they'd stepped into the living room.

"I'm much better," Haibara replied with a smile. "Thank you."

"It's all Conan-kun's fault," Genta blurted out.

"Eh? What did I do?"

"That's right." Mitsuhiko nodded in agreement with Genta. "If we had visited Haibara-san sooner and learned that she was so ill, we could've sent her to the hospital earlier. Conan-kun usually doesn't make the wisest decisions."

"Oh, so that's how it was," the strawberry blond said and cast a mocking look with raised eyebrows toward the fuming detective.

"I'm glad you're feeling better now," Conan gritted through his teeth and glared at Haibara.

"How are you, Ai-chan?" Ran asked as she set the tray of fruits, cookies, and a bowl of porridge on the table next to Haibara's bed.

Did everyone have to ask her the same question? She. Was. Fine.

The appearance of food made one of the Detective Boys drool, while the one in question responded to Ran with a small smile.

Mitsuhiko frowned at the gobbling Genta. "Don't just eat, Genta-kun. We came here also to help Haibara-san catch up with the schoolwork."

It was lucky that Haibara hadn't picked up the bowl of porridge yet, or she would've dropped it. Seven-year-olds were here to tutor her. Wonderful. But life... yeah.

"See," Mitsuhiko, one who'd always imitated adults and spoke with a bizarre speech pattern, said as he took out homework booklets from his backpack and handed them to Haibara. "I brought you everything that you'd need."

To avoid suspicion from Ran, Conan pointed to himself and asked, "Hey, what about me?"

Mitsuhiko looked at Conan with annoyance and said, "You're not sick and shouldn't have missed school just to take care of Haibara-san anyway."

The verbal exchange among the seven-year-olds caused Ran to giggle at the cuteness she saw in them and she soon joined in their teasing of each other. The chit-chattering in the living room also drew Doctor Agasa into the crowd, making Haibara's day quite full of excitement. Though, the strawberry blond chemist, as she ate the porridge, was pretending to listen to Mitsuhiko's "lessons" and to participate in the fun. Her attention was on Ran interacting with the kids in front of her.

After another hour, everyone but Conan left. Even so, he had had a hard time convincing them to leave.

"Phew, finally," Conan murmured and placed his hands behind his head, looking at the door.

Haibara reached for a cup of hot water on the small table and glanced out the window. _Yes, we mustn't involve them any further. But I don't understand. Why didn't he..._

"Kudo-kun," she called for the detective's attention and looked at him as he turned around.

"Do you feel it, too? The situation is becoming complicated, isn't it?"

Sipping the water, Haibara answered, off-topic but absorbed in her own thoughts, "She looks lonely."

"Lonely? Who? You mean Ran?"

"Didn't you notice?"

"Really?" Conan tapped his chin and thought hard to recall Ran's behavior. "Now that you speak of it... But she should understand. I've only been taking care of you. It's not like Conan disappeared, too. Or maybe you should just stop doing stupid things that - "

"If you keep pursuing, you might truly vanish. What would she do then?"

"Don't worry. We already have the antidote, don't we? If you'd cooperate - "

"It's not that simple. Go back, Kudo-kun. Neither of us knows how much we've walked into the trap they've set up. Even with the FBI as an ally, it might be the false sense of security that they want us to have. Take the chance, while you still have it, to not hurt her anymore." Haibara stared into the cup of water she was holding, hoping to see her face but failed.

Observing Haibara, Conan remarked, "You're weird."

"Excuse me," Haibara said with a glare, straightened her back, and lowered the cup to the blanket covering her legs. "I'm afraid I'm not the odd one out - everything is strange to you."

"No, seriously. A few days ago, you warned me about taking the antidote, but now, I think you want me to take it. Will there be a day that you tell me not to give up on the quest of wiping out the Organization?"

"You have to break the chains wrapping around your arms and legs now before they are too tight and ultimately drag you to hell. The Organization should have nothing to do with you. Stop stirring trouble."

"Haibara," Conan said in a low voice after a silence between them. "Do you know someone named Cathy Choi?"

"No. Who's she?" Haibara asked with a blank face but barely interested.

"Oh." Conan faked a laugh after a quick inspection of Haibara's face. "Someone at a case a few days ago. She... reminded me of you, that's all."

_So then..._

He was about to speak again when Haibara sunk into another one of her deep thoughts. Distraction, guilt, and sadness in Haibara's eyes made Conan wonder what she was thinking of.

_That lonely expression_, Haibara thought as she placed the cup on the table and returned to staring at the blanket, _should be on my face instead. Not hers. Why?_

"Why haven't you taken the antidote yet?" Haibara asked. "You've always been eager about it. Why do you continue to keep her waiting? Surely, the dangers I've analyzed - "

" - were the initial reasons," Conan interrupted and completed the chemist's statement. "That's true. But not entirely. There're some things I cannot do as Kudo Shinichi, and I haven't done them yet."

"And there're things you cannot do as Edogawa Conan. You've made promises to both sides, but nothing stays on the event horizon forever. They'll spiral in; lost and disintegrated. Kudo-kun, turn back before you step into a zone where eleven o'clock never reaches the one you love." Haibara continued in a whisper, "Don't be a fool."

"What's wrong with you? What did Ran do to make you so paranoid? She's been the focus of your thought ever since..." Conan realized the cause of Haibara's oddity and blushed. "Hey, hey! I'm not... because of that... you... I wouldn't... I mean..."

The strawberry blond scoffed. "Of course you wouldn't. I misunderstood you. That's all. I'm not a helpless patient," she said as question marks appeared on Conan's face. "You don't have to stay here any longer."

_Indeed, how could I be so foolish? He wouldn't march straight to the guillotine, to the mist trapped on the blade of the guillotine. The peace has lasted too long._

"Well," Conan said as he shifted from foot to foot. "If you want me to leave... But before that, can I ask you one last question?"

_No, don't!_

"What is this?" Conan demanded as he tossed a medicine bottle to Haibara, who picked it up in astonishment.

"This... Isn't this a bottle of medicine that treats influenza?"

"Ordinary flu medicine? Why don't you take a look at the contents inside and see if you recognize them?"

"What's the meaning of this?" Haibara changed her tone as well and crossed her arms, staring at the detective.

"Galatea..." Conan said with a frown. "Someone's been distributing it, I fear." He continued after witnessing a shocked expression from the chemist. "I want to know how much of this scheme you're involved in."

Pressing her hand against her forehead, Haibara squeezed her eyes shut as she recalled the past: sublimation... half-piece... _How could I be so stupid!_ she screamed at herself, jumped out of bed, and rushed to the basement. As she fumbled through everything in the lab in search of the APTX-4869 pills she hadn't used yet, the dread in her grew, and the nervousness caused her to sweat.

Nothing. There was nothing.

_You idiot! You've killed us all!_

With her fears confirmed, Haibara stood by the desk, supporting herself with an arm on the desk and the other hand on her forehead. Stepping down from the stairs, Conan stood by the door and held it open to prevent it from shutting, wondering.

-x-

(TBC)


	7. Elixir for Long Life

**CH 7 - Elixir for Long Life**

-x-

Haibara sank to the floor while her head leaned against her arm pressing against the edge of the desk. The thought that she had led them to their ultimate demise overwhelmed her. Because of the emotions, the jealousy, and the rash thinking, she fell ill and hence created a crack for the enemy to squeeze through.

It was similar to a leak in a dam, and now, it was too late to repair the damage, to save the lives along the river below the dam. Tiny drips of water could generate such immense pressure that the dam would blast open. Then it wouldn't be drips of water, streams of water, but walls of water carrying unthinkable amounts of energy.

As much as Conan didn't want to believe that Haibara could be guilty of producing Galatea, she was just too suspicious. Almost everything that she'd done so far was to hinder him from uprooting the Organization. True, she had provided a lot of information on the Organization to a degree that she could claim she knew no more, but her reluctance to give the name of the boss, her disapproval of his decisions, and worse, the distraction she was causing at a time like this were too suspicious.

He'd had to deal with cases where people he knew or even worshipped were criminals. It was not impossible that everything was an act to catch him off guard, even though it did seem like an awful lot of work for the Organization to go through just to silence one Kudo Shinichi.

Yet, the idea bugged him. Wouldn't it be more distracting if she "admitted" that she liked him? Or maybe it wasn't her thing. And the fact that he was brought to suspect the possibility of such a betrayal plan didn't make sense. Wouldn't they want him to be clueless? Perhaps it was reverse psychology.

_What exactly are you planning?_

Haibara coughed and Conan sighed.

He walked over to Haibara and took her arm to help her off the floor. "Let's get you upstairs where it's warm. People are most vulnerable during convalescence."

Standing up, the chemist glanced toward the cage sitting on a table in the corner of the room and frowned. She pulled her arm out of Conan's grasp, walked to the corner, hooked her fingers on the wire netting of the cage, and stared into it. "Where are the rats?" she asked.

Alerted, Conan stepped forward and peered into the cage while registering the oddness of the chemist's behavior. One glance of the empty cage was enough for the detective; he spent more time inspecting Haibara, who had a dazzled and frightened expression.

"Maybe hakase freed them," he suggested, glimpsing at the dried grass in the cage one more time, and took Haibara's hand to pull her away from the cage.

Her hand was cold. Conan turned around and brushed her bangs to the side to test her forehead temperature with his forehead. The chemist had a low fever, and it seemed to be causing the delay in her reactions for she gazed at him in an odd way, as if she wasn't sure what he was doing.

"When did you last take your medicine?" he asked and pulled away.

Applying pressure to her forehead with the back of her hand and shutting her eyes to relieve the growing headache, Haibara replied, "Noon, I think."

Conan checked his watch and gritted his teeth, not too happy with the time calculation. "It's about time, I guess. You shouldn't have run down here without putting on some more clothes."

He led her upstairs, where he grabbed his jacket, which was closest to him, and draped it over Haibara's shoulders. As Haibara shuffled to her bed, Conan headed to the kitchen to fill a glass with warm water for Haibara to take some medicine.

Leaning against her pillow and slumping to find a comfortable position where she could relax but not fall over, Haibara tugged the collar of the jacket and wrapped it tighter around her shoulders. _Lost. We've lost._ Haibara closed her eyes at the grave thought. _It's all because of me. What to do?_

When Conan returned with the water and the medicine pill, he peered into Haibara's pale face. She looked like she was asleep.

"Hey, are you alright?"

At the sound, Haibara opened her eyes, took the pill and the glass out of Conan's hand, placed the medicine into her mouth, and drank the water, choking in the middle. She was in a mess, as Conan observed. He took the glass out of her hand to prevent her from spilling the water and patted her back.

"Why don't you take a nap?"

The strawberry blond nodded, handed the jacket over to Conan, and lied down while Conan helped tuck the blanket around her. Her eyes shut tight with fatigue.

_What's wrong with her?_ The detective sighed, aware that the chemist was still in no condition to tell him what he wanted to know about the Organization and that he had to continue waiting. It was frustrating to sit around helplessly. He felt like the agitated earthquake scientists who could predict all about the large scaled quakes except for the time that they would strike.

So far, he wasn't deprived of the clues that could lead him to the Black Organization. He knew where Cathy Choi was, but what if it was a trick? What should he do then? Scratching his head out of annoyance, he spotted the phone not far from Haibara's bed. There was a way he could find out more about Cathy Choi. And better do it while Haibara was asleep.

"Saintemillion residence."

"Hi, Jodie-sensei. It's me, Conan," the detective greeted in a low voice to avoid waking the chemist and sat down on the sofa.

"Oh! Cool guy! How are you? And how is the little girl? I heard that she's ill."

"Oh, yes." Conan took a quick glance at the sleeping figure. "She's... she's fine now."

"Really? That's great! So, why are you calling?" Jodie smiled, expecting the little detective to bring up inquiries about the Black Organization, as the FBI had noted Kogoro's involvement in the case a few days ago. Although she appreciated the help that the little cool guy had provided in the past, she'd prefer that he left the job to the FBI.

Taking a deep breath, Conan shifted his position on the sofa to have his back facing Haibara and lowered his voice some more. "I was wondering... Do you have any information on Cathy Choi?"

"Ah, Catherine Choi." Jodie nodded and pulled out a folder from the drawer before sitting on her sofa. "I see that you suspect her as well. Yes, we have a file on her, and we are watching her. What do you want to know about her?"

"Everything would be nice."

"All right, I'll tell you what we know about her," Jodie said with hesitation. "But leave the investigation to us, okay?"

"Uh, sure."

"Catherine Choi, born in Hong Kong on January 23, 1984, grew up in Grenoble, France. Cantonese, but her father is half British. Blood type O positive, height 168 cm, weight 47 kg. Naturally black hair but dyed blond, light brown eyes. Violinist but not professional, and holds a doctorate degree in medicine. One of the best students graduated from University of Paris." Jodie lifted her head and looked out the window. "But oddly enough, she has no appreciation for art or science. People who knew her tell of her negative attitude and ignorance toward all forms of art. And when we inspected her apartment, her bookshelves were full of books on alchemy and astrology - pseudo-science - and, well, many books of the romance genre. What's striking is the line written on one of the papers stacked on her desk: _I am the Elixir for Long Life_. One can only wonder how she's using her brilliance in science."

_Interesting_, Conan thought. "What does her father do?"

"Her father owns a company that produces medicine. We believe that he is one of the financial supports for the Organization, though we doubt that he is conscious of how the money is being used. He is a well-respected businessman. Her mother," Jodie said before Conan could ask, "is a government-hired meteorologist."

"And her brother?"

"Hmm. We do not know much about him," said Jodie as she flipped through the papers spread out on the tea table in front of her. "Two years older than Catherine, he seemed to have been a rather stupid but friendly man. Some say he was in love with his sister, but we have yet to verify that information."

There was a pause between Conan and Jodie. And then Jodie spoke up again, after thinking for a moment, "We'd like you to consider a proposal of ours..."

After another twenty minutes of discussing the plan that the FBI had, Conan agreed to Jodie's proposal but decided that they should not involve Haibara in it. It was for her safety, he said, and Jodie agreed.

_This is a dangerous play, but if Fate is on our side..._ Jodie thought as Conan suggested some modifications to the plan.

" - hold on." Conan turned around, and his eyes met Haibara's eyes. "I-I'm sorry," Conan said to Jodie without taking his eyes off Haibara. "I have to go now."

While Jodie was puzzled by the sudden ending of the conversation, Conan hung up the phone and rose from the sofa. After returning the phone to its original position, he came to stand beside the bed with his hands in his pockets and stared at Haibara, whose face had more color than before and was written with concern.

"How long have you been listening?" Conan demanded, annoyed.

The coldness in Conan's voice made him sound like he was accusing her of being an immoral spy. Under normal circumstances, Conan might not have sounded as distant as he did at present, but the frustration he'd had with Haibara had been building up for a while.

Already tired, Haibara's face expression hardened with anger when she heard this unexpected and chilled accusation. What had she done when he woke her up in the first place? "I heard nothing," the strawberry blond responded with the same, if not harsher, coldness and turned her head away to glare at the window.

Having lost her ability to command many of her actions earlier on, Haibara couldn't mask her hurt feelings as well as she usually could. Her eyes and voice both betrayed her, and Conan realized that he'd gone too far. She was already under enormous stress for some odd reason, and from her expression before his questioning, it appeared that she was concerned and was about to tell him or ask him something.

No, this shouldn't have happened. After all, he had no reason to suspect her. Misunderstandings could hurt so much, and he had seen many tragic cases sprouting from such misunderstandings. He had no right to think in such a way. It wasn't fair for Haibara.

"H-how are you feeling now?" the detective asked like a child approaching a furious adult, hoping that he'd soothe Haibara's fury.

Everyone, everyone wanted to get rid of her, but there was no one to blame...

"Thank you for your concern. I'm fine," Haibara responded without removing her cynical tone. Unlike her usual sarcasm, which made fun of the target of mockery with warmth, this was a killer-to-prey exchange.

"I... I don't know how to say this..."

"Then shut up."

Heavens, so this was Miyano Shiho, this was Sherry. This was how she was like when she was in the Organization. What had he done?

Pressing his hands on the bed to support himself while he tiptoed and stretched himself to lean over enough to peer into Haibara's face. With a sheepish, apologetic grin, Conan asked, "Are you really mad at me? I didn't mean what I said earlier." _Liar!_ A voice inside his head screamed at him. "I... You know, being angry makes you age faster and is not good for your health. W-what I'm trying to say is..."

Haibara turned her head around and sent out one of the most frightening glares Conan had ever seen in his life. Jumping back to increase the distance between them so that the glare wouldn't kill him, Conan knew he had done something beyond the imagination of wrong.

"Go away. Whine to your girlfriend. I'm not your cat," Haibara warned and covered her head with the blanket.

Conan would've lost his patience if Haibara hadn't hid herself under the blanket like someone unwilling to get out of bed and trying to hide from the sun in the morning. She was still Haibara and not Sherry, still the girl who acted way stronger than she really was.

Under the blanket, Haibara controlled herself from shaking, from bursting into tears. The thought of "this is worthless to cry over" repeated in her head, but the choking, souring, and pricking feeling kept resurfacing.

Picking up the tip of the blanket, Conan tried to peek inside. "You're not crying, are you?"

No, she wasn't. Not yet. But she snatched the tip of the blanket away from Conan before he could get a better look.

"Uh, Haibara... I... I'm sorry. I really am. I just didn't want to... I was afraid that..." There was no suitable way for him to put a sentence containing the content of "I don't want to denounce you guilty some day" since it would truly hurt Haibara's feelings. So he chose to discard the reason that'd caused him to question her in a cold manner and decided to loosen the tension in a different direction. "If you really don't want me to pursue the Organization, I can give up. I-I don't want you to be upset. Don't hide under the blanket anymore, okay? Please?"

Receiving no response from the strawberry blond, Conan continued, "Maybe Ran was right. I think of deduction so much that I don't know... that I don't understand..." _...things sometimes are just the way they are. Please forgive me, Haibara, forgive my caprice and my lie this once... I really..._

Still receiving no response after a couple minutes of silence, Conan pouted. "Hey, are you coming out or not? 'Cause if you don't, I'll pull that blanket off you. And I mean it."

He reached for the blanket and grabbed it but stopped before he yanked it. It would just make Haibara even madder and more unforgiving. Sighing, he let go and headed for the door, chewing on the thought that perhaps it would've been a better idea if he'd listened to her "suggestion" earlier telling him to leave since she wasn't a helpless patient. Opening the door, Conan took another glance at the bulge on the bed and stepped outside, giving the impression that he'd left, even though he remained sitting on the steps outside the house, feeling blue.

Inside the house, after hearing the door click shut and remaining in stillness for a few minutes, Haibara lowered the blanket and peeked out. One victory that she managed to cheer was that she succeeded in holding back her tears. But now she was feeling bad that she made it so tough on the little detective.

Oh well, he deserved it.

-x-

It was almost dark when Doctor Agasa returned from sending the rest of the Detective Boys home and from grocery shopping. Carrying the groceries, he was surprised to see a dejected detective sitting on the doorsteps with his chin in his hand.

"What are you doing out here, Shinichi-kun?"

"Shh! Don't let Haibara know I'm out here," Conan placed his finger on his lips and whispered.

"What happened? You haven't, by any chance, done something unutterable to make her kick you out, have you? Or are you - "

"I said 'shush'! And no, she didn't kick me out. I came out myself, but I did make her mad... Oh, just go inside and don't let her know I'm out here!" Conan yelled in a whisper and beckoned the confused Doctor Agasa to enter the house without further questioning.

Doctor Agasa opened the door and looked toward the living room before turning back to Conan. "She's sleeping."

"Really? Like, not pretending?" Conan kneeled on the pavement in front of the door and peeped into the room while using Doctor Agasa to hide him.

Lying on her left side, Haibara had her right arm outside the blanket, which she no longer was hiding under. The detective knew that the strawberry blond couldn't fake sleep well anyway, and besides, it had been a long time since he exited the house.

"She's really asleep," Conan said as he stood up and tiptoed into the house - it was getting cold outside. "But hakase, pretend I'm not here. I'm invisible from now on until... oh, I don't know. Things should be alright, I think, when Haibara starts making fun of me again. Now go! Do whatever you're supposed to do."

"Uh, sure," Doctor Agasa responded and scratched his head before going into the kitchen. _What's up with Shinichi-kun?_

Watching Doctor Agasa leave the doorway, Conan wondered what he should do and where he should go. Maybe he should hide in the bathroom. Or in the lab. Or in Doctor Agasa's room. Or in a closet. Or... not at all.

The last time he saw Haibara's face was the death glare she gave him. It wasn't that long ago. It wasn't as if they'd been apart for decades. But he missed the gentle face she had, the adorable face she had. He never saw it often, but he didn't want it to disappear completely.

He strolled to the bedside and bent down to get a closer look of Haibara's face, wondering how it was possible for someone to possess so many layers of personality and to exhibit expressions with such drastic differences.

A murderer... No, she wasn't a murderer. She was just a little girl who, forced to grow up, forced to protect herself with coldness, liked to cry in the dark.

Extending his hand forward to touch the strawberry blond's cheek, Conan blushed and immediately withdrew his hand. Maybe he should make himself useful while he was here in Doctor Agasa's house, such as helping with the housework. Yes, the floor needed sweeping.

-x-

Haibara woke up from the sounds of someone walking toward her, stopping beside her, and placing something that smelled nice on the table beside her. Opening her eyes and noticing the brightness in the room, she discovered that it was morning and the person bending down to look at her was not Doctor Agasa but Edogawa Conan instead.

"What are you doing here?" Haibara stated, yet the tone wasn't as bitter - Conan hoped it wasn't because of her sleepiness that was making her slightly nicer than she was yesterday evening.

"I made breakfast for you," Conan said with a compromising smile, which dropped when Haibara turned to face the other side. "Are you still angry? What should I do to make you happy again?" Conan asked and shook Haibara gently on her shoulder, trying to make her turn around to face him. "Huh? What should I do? Come on, Haibara," - shake - "you can't ignore me forever..."

"Stop. Shaking. Me," Haibara said as she grabbed Conan's wrist, lifted his hands off her shoulder one after the other, dropped them away from her, and sat up on the bed.

"Are we not friends anymore?"

_"We never were,"_ Haibara wanted to say just to see an injured expression on the detective's face, but it was too cruel. So instead, she turned her attention to the bowl. "Really," Haibara muttered and lifted the lid covering the bowl full of... porridge. "It's not poisonous, I hope."

"Poisonous? No! It's not! I swear!" Conan beamed when Haibara picked up the bowl and spoon. "So does this mean you forgive me?"

Scooping up a bit of the porridge with the spoon, the strawberry blond raised her eyebrows for the lack of ideas and sighed. "Might as well do so, since that's the only way for me to cease your endless yapping and shaking. I want a life. Without you tailing me around and begging for forgiveness on your knees every other minute, mind you."

"Wait, then you're forgiving me only because I'm annoying?"

"You can put it that way. Why else would I ever forgive you? Because I love you so much that I can't bear to see you in torment of guilt? Ha, very funny," Haibara sneered and stuffed the spoon of food into her mouth.

"Does it taste good?" Conan leaned forward, never feeling so happy that Haibara returned to teasing him.

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You're the best!"

Haibara looked up from the bowl of porridge and stared at the detective grinning beside her. It was official - he lost his mind.

"Don't you have school?"

"Ah, yes." Conan's grin grew wider and, grabbing his jacket and backpack, he changed his shoes with incredible speed and fled out the door.

Odd.

-x-

(TBC)


	8. The Last Day

**CH 8 - The Last Day**

-x-

There was a smiley face following the words "Remember to take your medicine on time" on the sticky note that Haibara had peeled off the alarm clock sitting on the counter. It was a pathetic smiley face, to be exact, if regarded from Haibara's perspective.

_Accursed awakening device_, Haibara thought as she removed the batteries of the clock, crumpled the sticky note into a ball, and tossed it into the trash can.

She was showering when this... _thing_ started beeping. Since Doctor Agasa wasn't home - he left earlier, but whereto, Haibara didn't ask - she had to wrap herself in a towel to leave the bathroom to stop the crazy high frequency shrieks of the clock from shattering any glass. By the time she slammed her fist on the snooze button, the screeches from the small electronic device were hurting her eardrums.

After changing into dry clothes, Haibara returned to the kitchen to take her medicine. It was when she was capping the medicine bottle after swallowing the tablet when she remembered about the bottle of "Galatea" lying somewhere in the lab. She didn't believe the pills in the bottle were Galatea, but having nothing else better to do except sitting on the bed and counting the number of red cars driving by per hour, she might as well conduct official chemical tests on the pills.

The lab was in a mess. Papers and all kinds of objects lay all over the place. The desk drawers were pulled out to various degrees and about half the contents that the drawers used to contain were scattered throughout the room - pens, rulers, plastic containers, computer disks, and papers.

The chemist cringed at the sight, but before she could pick up anything, she caught sight of the white bottle lying on the desk among mixed stacks of paper. Her mind would be on the bottle all the time if she did house cleaning first, so instead of sorting out everything on the floor, she swept them into a large pile beside the desk and reached for the bottle. She opened the bottle, shook out a couple pills, and broke each of them in half to inspect the insides of them. The insides were white, like Tylenol cold pills. Shaking her head as she broke more pieces of the medicine, she knew that these were not Galatea. Dyeing powder colors was possible, but by instinct, the chemist knew that the drug she was holding in her hands was not her creation.

_"Who're you kidding? There's no way I can understand a murderer! Do you know how many people you've killed with that drug of yours?"_

Galatea was solely her creation, her own creation. It was an unintentional mistake, a miscalculation, but nonetheless, it was deadly. If the detective could've gotten so mad over a drug that she had to continue developing after her parents' death, it was no surprise he would lose his patience and temper while fearing the destruction Galatea would bring.

Dropping the uncapped bottle onto the desk and ignoring it and its contents rolling around and falling onto the floor, Haibara bowed her head and rested her hands on the edge of the desk.

_I see_, Haibara thought, _But I don't understand. Why would there be such changes?_

"_I promised her that if anything happens, I'll protect her, that there is nothing to worry about. That girl's far from being as strong as she seems to be_,"Conan had told Doctor Agasa.

Friendship. Friendship is a burning fantasy. There can be no love among people. The loves forced from blood relationships are wonderful and powerful, and yet, such loves will ultimately be torn apart. The bonds among people cannot withstand anything and cannot do anything except create sadness in the world that lasts through centuries.

The purpose for human beings to approach one another is entirely selfish, no matter what kind of selfishness - physical, psychological, emotional - and no matter whether it is cute, abominable, harmless, detrimental, naive, frightening...

There are people so harsh and cold, and there are people so foolish. Then there are people so... good.

However, the good will all pass away. The good cannot win and can never win the bad. The victory has been set by the definition of the good and the bad. And the world is steering farther and farther away from the equilibrium born with the universe. One day, everything, everywhere will be dark. Things of the light are slowly drowning away.

"_She smiled as she told me, 'About a week later, I will come and visit you again. This time, I'll bring my sister, too._'" Imai Tetsuo, whose tools Akemi loved to hide, had said as he recalled Akemi. "_But she never came. I'd thought that her cheerful face would erase the murderous thought once more, but..._"

Haibara held up her trembling hands to examine them while tears blurred her vision. These same hands, these same hands that created Apotoxin-4896 and Galatea took away the life of her beloved sister. If it wasn't because of that drug, if it wasn't because of the ability for these hands to continue the research, her sister would've been able to get her out of the Organization and bring her, too, to visit the friends of her father... "about a week later." But the Organization needed the research, which needed her. Akemi's refusal to hand over the one billion yen she'd robbed to free Haibara forced Gin to kill her.

And she'd blamed _him_ for not being able to save her sister.

Haibara fell to her knees and cried, leaning her head against the side of the desk. She didn't try to stop the tears from falling. There was no one by her side anyway, and there probably never will be one. The tears were not burdening ones, but those that relieved pains.

Was it possible that loneliness could make the room feel cold?

-x-

"I'm baaack," Conan announced as he pushed open the door at the Detective Agency but stopped short when he saw Sonoko and Ran conversing, or is it arguing? in the living room.

"No, this is too fancy," Ran said, embarrassed, as she pushed away the dress that Sonoko was holding up. "It's only a dinner with friends."

"But it's not an _ordinary_ dinner!" Sonoko protested and picked up another dress, trying to make Ran wear it. "I already told you _he'll_ be there. Think, Ran, think. Compare him to that stupid deduction freak Shinichi. Okay, how about this dress? Come on, Ran! It's like comparing diamond to graphite! Pick the diamond!"

"Sonoko... No! This dress reveals too much!"

"Of course, if Shinichi doesn't run off to some random case so often and abandons his wife every time—"

"Stop calling me his wife! Who wants to be that jerk's wife?"

"Aha! I never said _you_ were his wife. See? You do like him and already dream of marrying him. Oh, it's so romantic... Don't worry, I'll make sure - "

"No! He... Just shut it, Sonoko!" Ran exclaimed in desperation and caught sight of Conan regarding Sonoko with annoyance. "Conan-kun? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you coming in."

Sonoko continued, "Well, in any case, Ran, you have to - "

"Ran-neechan, are you going somewhere tonight?" Conan asked after Ran turned her attention to him.

"Yeah. Sonoko invited a lot of people to dinner, but I thought you were staying over at hakase's house, so I didn't prepare dinner. Otousan himself can get dinner downstairs... Oh, I know! Hey, otousan, can you bring Conan-kun along with you when you dine at the café downstairs?"

"What! No!" Kogoro, looking up from the newspaper, and Conan shouted together.

Surprised by the reactions of the two detectives and out of ideas, Ran turned to Sonoko, who was still speaking of the dinner, the dresses, and the jerk, for help.

" - are you listening? No! Ran, no way!" Sonoko shouted. "It's always this kid! We're not taking him with us! He spoils everything!"

"But - "

"It's okay, Ran-neechan, I'll just go to hakase's house."

"But - "

"I think that's a _great_ idea," Kogoro said in a loud voice and opened another can of beer.

"But - otousan! Sonoko! Can't we - w-wait, Conan-kun! Come back!"

"Have a nice evening, all!" Conan waved with a cheerful smile as Sonoko dragged Ran away to try on more dresses.

Once he was outside the room with the door shut, he let out a sigh and turned to descend the stairs. Wondering about the "he" Sonoko had spoken of and digging his hands into his pockets, he felt a small, smooth object. Oh yeah! He had the antidote! Stopping on the stairs, he pulled the capsule out of his pocket while a wide grin appeared on his face. Before he popped the capsule into his mouth, however, he realized that several things could go wrong if he took the antidote now.

Haibara would mock and look down on him for the rest of his life, especially if she learned of the circumstance causing him to take the antidote so quickly or if anything went wrong after he took the antidote. Or worse: the combo of the two. And he didn't even want to think about what would go wrong. Jodie was counting on _Conan_ as well to carry out the plan. The Black Organization might realize that one of their victims came back to life and that would put everyone in danger...

Darn. He still had to wait while Sonoko continued on with her nonsense. But when everything is over, he'd make sure Sonoko paid in one way or another. He wouldn't let "him" off the hook that easily either... as soon as he could find out who "he" was.

Not particularly happy but helpless on almost everything, Conan walked toward Doctor Agasa's house while kicking pebbles along the way.

"Hakase," Conan called out in a gloomy voice as he stepped into Doctor Agasa's house. "I'm staying here for tonight." After taking off his shoes and receiving no response, he repeated, "Hakase?"

Looking around as he walked into the living room, he noticed that Haibara's bed was neatly made and that the living room was empty.

"Hello? Hakase? Haibara?" Conan descended the stairs leading to the basement, and to his surprise, the lab, like the living room, was clean and tidy. The last time he was here, papers and random items were lying all over the place. _I guess someone was in a good mood today_. _But where are - _His thoughts broke off when he came across a pile of paper spread out slightly around a folder. It was a stack of paper with results of the physical and chemical tests of several numbered items compared to the properties of Galatea. All results were negative.

"If you're going to stay here tonight," a voice came from behind, causing him to throw the papers he was holding onto the desk and to spin around to the direction where the voice was coming from, "just know I'm not cooking for you."

"Oh, Haibara," Conan exclaimed, facing the never-cheerful strawberry blonde chemist leaning by the doorpost with her arms folded. "Where's hakase?"

"Not home. He's been out for the whole day."

"Where did he go?"

Haibara shrugged, aware of the detective's interest in the papers on the desk. "They're not it," she said when Conan glanced at the pile of paper again.

"R-right. Figured. The police didn't find anything either," Conan murmured with pauses in between sentences and looked up startled as Haibara left the doorpost abruptly. "Are you okay?" he asked after he caught up with Haibara on the stairs.

"Tired," Haibara replied and headed for the dining table.

"What are you eating?" Conan asked with enthusiasm and peered over Haibara's shoulders after she sat down and picked up the chopsticks. "Ramen! You're eating _ramen_!" he cried out in horror but understood why he hadn't heard or smelled anything cooking earlier in the kitchen, where he assumed Haibara was when he entered the house.

"I'm not ordering pizza, and no one is forcing you to eat ramen," Haibara said in a tired and bored voice and stuffed a few noodle strands into her mouth.

"You're not eating ramen," Conan said, snatched the bowl of instant noodle away, spilling some soup in the process but missing the sight of a confounded Haibara gaping at him, and headed for the kitchen. "I'm cooking something healthier for you."

A softened expression replaced the irritated one on her face. After wiping dry the table with the spilled soup, Haibara sat on her chair and waited for her dinner, smirking once when she heard Conan crying out, "Hey, look what I found!"

If only everything was a dream... then it would last forever.

Soon, the smell from the kitchen permeated throughout the room. It was so nice that Haibara couldn't wait to see what Conan had cooked. It was taking him a long time, so it'd better be good.

When he finally emerged from the kitchen, he was carrying a large pot and other utensils. As he set everything before Haibara, he said, "I couldn't find a clay pot to decoct it, and I didn't have as much time, so it's not as good as it should've been. But it's edible, and better than ramen."

Haibara's eyes widened as she leaned forward on her seat to peek into the pot, which contained soup that looked dirty. "Black chicken soup..." Haibara exclaimed in awe and looked at Conan. "Where did you find the chicken?"

"It was in the freezer," Conan said, grinning and looking very accomplished. "Yeah, I know. I was surprised too. Try some."

Conan scooped up a bowl full of soup and chicken and handed the bowl to Haibara, who was beaming at the food she got to eat. The soup made from black chicken is richer - in taste and in nutrients - than that made from normal chicken. Although a chicken with black skin looked abnormal and the soup along with it looked contaminated, it was a high-quality dish.

"How is it?" Conan asked with eagerness to gain feedback after Haibara took a bite.

"It's edible, and better than ramen."

Sighing, Conan slipped into the seat opposite to Haibara and helped himself to a bowl of soup. "Come on, it has to be better than what I said."

Haibara didn't respond but kept her eyes on her food. She didn't want to admit it, but it was delicious. Midway through the meal, she stopped eating and started poking the chicken meat in her bowl with her chopsticks. Her mind had wandered off to somewhere else. Still keeping her eyes on her food, Haibara asked in a low voice, "Must you go?"

"Go where?" Conan looked up from his second filling that he was almost finishing. He was enjoying his own cooking.

"Must you execute the FBI's plan?" When she received no response, Haibara continued, "I know I can't stop you from going, but you won't come back alive. The Organization is just too powerful. By that time, she'll be hurt, and... there'll be no one to cook me this."

"Then you like it!" Conan gasped as the happiest smile in the world appeared on his face, though he was half expecting Haibara to reply, "No, I was just kidding - your cooking stinks." Or something like that, but Haibara didn't say anything. "Don't worry, I'll be fine," Conan said, unable to stop smiling. "When I come back, I'll make you this soup every two weeks. How is that?"

"Sure..." Haibara whispered, knowing that it was impossible. If he did come back alive, he'd be excited about returning to his normal life as a high-school detective with _her_. He shouldn't even know Haibara. The strawberry blonde looked up at Conan, who was helping himself to the third filling, but the look turned into a stare.

"What?" Conan blushed when his eyes met Haibara's eyes.

"You've got chicken and oil all over your face."

Oh... so _now_ she was staring at him because there was something, well, a lot of things, on his face. Conan's face reddened as he grabbed a paper towel to wipe his face. Indeed, he was looking like a toddler who had baby food all smudged around the mouth.

"I'm sorry," Conan said with a sheepish grin. "I guess I'm too used to eating with a seven-year-old's manner."

Haibara shook her head and resumed poking her chicken. Conan watched with curiosity as she picked up the piece of meat to eat but dropped it back into the bowl several times until she gave up completely, placed the chopsticks on the table, and sat up straight.

"I have to go," Haibara said and looked at Conan.

"Wha - "

"You don't want me to go, I understand. However, nothing will be solved if I continue running away, if I continue hiding. I appreciate your concerns for my safety, but I can't rely on you forever, do you understand? The Organization wants me. Nothing will be accomplished if only you go. You will die. That is a huge but unnecessary damage."

"You still don't have confidence in me?" Conan put down his chopsticks and leaned back in his seat, looking at Haibara.

With a bitter smile, Haibara answered, "Have confidence in you. Believe in you. Have faith in you... all these will not save anyone or anything. They are nonexistent philosophical concepts. You're up against a dangerous opponent."

"Hence, it's too dangerous for you to go."

"Is it not dangerous then, for you?"

"Please, Haibara - "

"What if their plan was to direct your attention to something insignificant while their focus is somewhere else? What would you do then?"

The detective felt a sinking feeling of dread in his heart. "What do you mean?"

Haibara lowered her head. "I'm afraid, Kudo-kun. I don't want to see the replay of the tragedy that had happened in 79 A.D. in Pompeii. A tragedy that is changeable but irreversible."

_Pompeii, 79 A.D..._ Conan fell silent as he recalled the story of one of the most famous ghost towns in the world.

Pompeii, a Roman city sitting at the bay of Naples, was destroyed by an epic eruption of Vesuvius and was frozen in time. Vesuvius, the peak of hell rising out of paradise. Because the volcano had been dormant for 1500 years, the people of Pompeii had no knowledge about volcanoes. And because no one knew the dangers, many who could've fled, stayed, completely oblivious that the decisions they made would ultimately seal their fate.

The people of Pompeii died in a painful way, compared to the instant deaths of the people of Herculaneum, a city beside Pompeii. For the people at Pompeii, the first breath in the midst of the pyroclastic flow filled their lungs with fluid, like swallowing fire. The second breath created wet cement in their lungs, while the third breath thickened the cement, causing the victims to suffocate in the tremendous heat within the flow itself.

The volcanic ash later blanketed the city, sealing it away from the world until 1594. The cover of ash acted like a time capsule, preserving the city... and the "bodies." The bodies decayed; it was the casts made by the ash that had preserved their shapes. The casts were the eerie replicas immortalizing the final moments of the citizens of Pompeii...

"Haibara..."

"It was only until today that people believed the records made of the disaster 2000 years ago by Pliny the Younger," Haibara's voice trailed off as she lifted her head and looked into Conan's eyes. "What I'd meant to tell you is... about the boss. But... will you think that I'm mad, like Pliny the Younger? After all, I..."

Conan smiled. "Fool, who am I? Don't worry. How bad can it be?"

The strawberry blonde muttered the identity of the boss and quickly stood up without looking at Conan's reaction. "I'm going to bed," Haibara uttered as she left the table. She didn't want him to see her face, which he probably wouldn't be able to anyway due to the shock, nor did she want to see his.

She only heard him repeatedly mutter, "No, that's not possible..."

-x-

Haibara was dreaming about eating apples in tornadoes when someone shook her awake when it was still dark. Focusing her barely opened eyes on the person, she mumbled as she sat up on the bed, "Hakase, you're back."

"What's wrong with Shinichi-kun?" Doctor Agasa asked in a whisper and handed a cup of water to Haibara, who examined the cup of water in the dark as if she was extremely near-sighted. "For medicine," Doctor Agasa explained and handed the medicine to Haibara. "He's just sitting there in the dark with his head in his hands and when I tried to talk to him, he shakes his head and beckons me to leave him alone."

"He'll be fine," Haibara answered after gulping down the cup of water and shifted off the bed to return the cup to the kitchen.

"Here, give me the cup." Doctor Agasa extended his hand.

"No. I'll go."

On the way to the kitchen, Haibara glanced at the clock, which read ten o'clock. He'd been sitting there for more than two hours. After washing the cup and placing it back into the cupboard, Haibara glimpsed at Conan, who was in the position as what Doctor Agasa had described. She paused but turned to return to bed, wondering if she'd done the right thing to have revealed the identity of the boss to him.

People of Pompeii didn't know about the danger of Vesuvius but instead thought of it as the giver of life. The giver of life also brought death, but the people of Pompeii had more than twelve hours to escape from the city before the deadly pyroclastic flow contributed to the final devastation. Haibara knew it was too late to move Conan out of the red-zone, so she decided to inform him of the danger of... Vesuvius. People at Pompeii realized their fate in the end, but what could they have done? Eventually, both of them might have to ask the same question that the people of Pompeii would've asked - where will you go when nowhere is safe?

Conan looked up at where Haibara had stood after she left and shook his head. _This is not fair, not fair to that person, not fair at all..._

"Haibara," he called out, but knowing she was too far and his voice too low for her to hear.

-x-

(TBC)


	9. The Things and the Time the World Needs

**CH 9 - The Things and the Time the World Needs**

-x-

If... If only there was a way to sort this out, think this over, without the confusion and uncertainty, he wouldn't be so irritated. There had to be a way. Some way.

All right. Suppose there were two sisters. You were best friends with the younger one and had only heard of her older sibling from her descriptions. However, there was a problem. Your best friend had lied to you once, but because it wasn't one that'd altered much of your life, you'd forgiven her. Then her sister was murdered. Evidences were pointing to your best friend, and you knew that she had told you before about the lack of her sister's love for her. What would you believe? Your instinct as an older child that the viewpoint of your best friend's sister was distorted and misunderstood? Or your best friend? The wound of betrayal that had been mended but the scar still visible?

Instinct.

But he couldn't say for sure. He was an only child and he would never understand the minds of the eldest siblings. Nevertheless, instinct never betrayed.

However, what would happen if your best friend was indeed innocent? Would she be all right? What if, this time, instinct lied? Would the world around your best friend shatter and collapse? No, the world was too big. No matter what happened, there would still be a world around you...

Yes, there would still be a world around you, he nodded in agreement with the voice that came from the outside world. Therefore...

Where did that voice come from?

"Conan-kun!" The same voice shouted, causing Conan to look up startled. Ayumi's face, one full of concern, peered into his. "Did you catch the flu?"

"Flu?" The word slipped out in astonishment before he realized that Ayumi could come up with no other explanation for his absent behavior. "Oh! No! I'm fine. I'm just tired." Conan smiled in reassurance but failed to convince Ayumi completely. He looked around and met Haibara's gaze that was asking for help while Mitsuhiko's and Genta's glares demanded an explanation for worrying Ayumi. "I'm sorry. What were you talking about?"

"We were saying," Mitsuhiko began in a grumpy and monotonic voice. It had been a while since the Detective Boys – all five of them – walked home from school together, and now this Conan was spoiling all the fun. How dare he! "Since Haibara-san has finally recovered, we should let hakase bring us to a camping trip this weekend."

So that was why Haibara was looking at him for help. Conan looked at Haibara again, but she had turned her head away.

"U-um..." Conan shifted on his feet and wondered why Haibara left the difficult excuse-making task to him. "I'm afraid this weekend isn't too convenient for us."

The anticipation, mixed with worries, annoyances, or whatever else, of the three members of the Detective Boys turned into incomprehension.

"What do you mean?" Mitsuhiko asked.

"W-we... uh, hakase won't be in town this weekend," Conan lied. "And... uh, Kogoro-ojisan is visiting a relative, and he's bringing Ran-neechan, Haibara, and I along with him."

"Why Haibara-san also?" Mitsuhiko frowned in confusion. "And where is hakase going?"

"Yeah! Why can't we go?" Genta demanded.

"Ojisan has never taken us on any trips before. But this time, he's taking Ai-chan, too, with Conan-kun," Ayumi stated quietly. She was merely stating the facts to organize her thoughts, and yet it was undeniable that she was unhappy about the arrangement. Cocking her head to the side, Ayumi thought for a while before her eyes shone. "Ai-chan can stay at my house when hakase isn't home! And then we could – "

Conan was about to speak when Haibara interrupted with a gentle but firm smile, "That's very nice of you, and I thank you. However, the adults have decided and it'll be difficult for a few children to change their minds."

There was a short silence among the three children before Ayumi and Mitsuhiko muttered a disappointed "Oh," while Genta grumbled under his breath.

Mitsuhiko continued with a hopeful look on his face, "Yeah, I understand. We'll go someday later, then?"

Haibara transferred her gaze onto the ground and paused to think of a respond. She was aware that Mitsuhiko and the other two were asking for a promise, but she didn't want to make any. She didn't want to break any. With a smile, which the three didn't register as rueful, Haibara replied in a soft voice, "We'll see."

And that was enough to cheer the three of them up.

"We'll catch lots of fish!" Genta shouted, receiving applauds of "Oh!" and "Yeah!" from the other two. "Remember that time when I – "

Their reminiscence of past trips and their laughter continued until they parted, leaving Haibara and Conan to watch their departure with sentiment.

"Don't worry," said Conan, trying to be optimistic as he resumed walking. "You'll join their fishing trip. We'll all join their fishing trip."

"Yes, of course," Haibara said in a whisper and trailed after Conan. A moment of silence passed between them before Haibara asked, "Are you coming over again, today?"

"What, are you tired of me already?" Conan glanced over his shoulder and cast a mischievous grin at Haibara while his teasing tone challenged her.

"I am indeed," Haibara replied in the same but a little more apathetic tone. "Seeing your face at every corner everyday can drive people insane."

"Why, thank you... But before we go back," Conan said as he stopped at an intersection and waited for the green light of the direction away from the one that led toward Doctor Agasa's house, "we have to pay Jodie-sensei a visit first." There was no response from Haibara, and when he looked around, he found the strawberry blonde standing still on the sidewalk and looking at him with unwillingness in her eyes. "Are you not coming?"

"Must I go?" Haibara asked without holding back the tone or the look that signaled her refusal to follow.

"No," Conan folded his arms and said with an annoyed look, "of course not. Not unless you want to go to the exhibition, that is."

Raising her eyebrows at the jeering tone of the detective, Haibara returned an amused look that challenged the detective with the question asking "And you will stop me how?"

"I wouldn't care if I had to tie you up and lock you in a cellar." Conan shrugged and glanced toward the traffic light, which had just turned green on his side.

"Threats don't work on me," Haibara said with a shake of her head and was ready to head home. "I'm just afraid I might bust your 'cute lil' plan' again, while the outcome of that situation might not be pretty."

Sighing, Conan hurried two steps toward the strawberry blonde, grabbed her arm despite her protests, and dragged her across the road as the green light began to blink. "Come on. There's nothing scary about the FBI. If you want to go, you'd have to cooperate."

Once they were on the other side, Haibara yanked her arm out of Conan's grip and glared at him before walking beside him with annoyance.

They strolled down the street in tense silence for a while before Conan placed his hands behind his head and broke the silence when he said, "I don't understand. If you knew it was him all along, why would you – are you sure that he is the boss?"

With her hands clasped behind her back, Haibara shrugged and mumbled, "It's a high probability."

"Only a high probability?" Conan yelled and gestured his hands in mid-air to describe the devastating effect of relying upon such ambiguous information. "Haibara! How can you tell me such...? And let me worry such..."

"Well, I'm sorry," Haibara apologized, not sounding sorry at all. "I'm a scientist. I've never known what a hundred percent is." She waved her hand around and located a point in space. "Do you know where the third electron of this air molecule is going to be next? I don't..."

"That's not what I meant!" the detective interrupted before the chemist could ramble on. It would be disastrous if the scientist's tongue was let loose to go on bragging about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle; he still had questions that he wanted to ask her, those which he'd been haunted by and couldn't ask her at school. "I-I thought you knew who he was."

"I do," Haibara admitted. "But it was a guess, nonetheless. I've never come face-to-face with the boss of the Organization before when I was in it. From what I know and from what we've found out, he's who I came up with. You've always had the choice not to buy my word, and you still do. I don't care."

She didn't care.

Conan let out a frustrated sigh. "It does make sense, though. And everything falls into place. Yes, everything... Everything except for the fact that he should be the last person we would ever suspect... the last person we should ever suspect!" He shook his head. No, that didn't sound right. He muttered to himself, "Damn, I can't believe I just said that."

From feeling disappointment and defeat to a "then-again" indifference, Haibara said, "I'm sure you're aware of the psychology used. You're a detective, after all, and should've witnessed many criminals use the same strategy." Haibara smirked. "My, he really deserves two thumbs up, doesn't he? For being capable of fooling the great high school detective Kudo Shinichi..."

Ignoring Haibara's scoff, Conan said, "I just can't believe that they'd go through so much trouble! So much that it's... it's illogical!"

Haibara sighed. "People like to believe in Occam's razor. So why not spice things up a little and make life unnecessarily complicated? Then people would say, 'Oh, we're on the wrong track. It can't be this complex...' Which would you believe? The simple and elegant explanation or the dull and cumbersome one?"

Figuring out what was adding to his distress, Conan stared at Haibara and remarked, "You're exceptionally calm on this matter right now. It's... not like you."

Sure, she was a calm and collected person, but she'd never been casual about talking about the Organization before. Her attitude now was as if she was chatting about philosophy with a close friend over afternoon tea.

"When you reach a state where you realize that agitation wouldn't help, you'd shut out the fear in your conscious mind." Haibara's expression stiffened as she felt the dread crawling back. "It's not gone, however. It just doesn't make things worse."

"Then... why now?" Conan asked. "I'm curious. Why at this particular time and not earlier?"

"A cloud of star dust has to collapse first on its own weight before it can form a star. That star has to die first to allow a second or third generation star to be born before planets such as Earth can form. After the conditions are set, then can there be life forms. And from the so-called 'evolution' can there surface the so-called intelligence, the so-called civilization. Yet, for the star dust to exist there must be the universe. Where the universe comes from, that'll be where our knowledge ends. But we can't even be sure that our existing knowledge is correct."

Raising his eyebrows, Conan asked, "And that is related to my question because?"

"Things need things to happen. Things need Time to happen. But not everything can be explained with things and Time. We're too weak and too dense to comprehend the world."

Conan blinked and continued wondering about the relevance of her answer, but she didn't look as if she'd answer in any more details or in any form he'd prefer. "Oh... okay." And that was all the dumbfounded detective could mutter.

After walking in silence for another minute or so, Conan stopped in front of a building, looked up at it, and said, "We're here."

"Should we tell them?" Conan asked after they stepped into the lift.

Haibara thought for a moment and said, "I don't see how it would help in anyway except put them in more danger."

Conan chuckled. "Look. They're the FBI. If they're in any danger, they're already in it."

"But why would they believe us?" Haibara questioned and walked out of the lift after the door opened. "We have no proof that he is the boss."

"O-h!" Conan cried out as he followed Haibara and led her to Jodie's apartment door. "Pro-of! That's r-ight! We don't have it!"

He rang the doorbell while Haibara glared at him with her arms folded. She wasn't very appreciative of his mockery, but there was nothing she could do. In a way, she started it and called for the biting response.

"Who is it?" Jodie's voice came through the electronic doorbell system.

"It's Conan. And Haibara."

"Oh! H-hold on!"

Through the doorbell system, Conan and Haibara heard James speaking in English but sounding very far away. "Speak of the – "

But Jodie's voice drowned James' voice with an "Ah, Shui – " before all the sounds were cut off.

The door opened and Jodie greeted them with a smile. She told them to come in, to take a seat, and asked them what they wanted to drink.

"No, we don't need anything. We're fine," Conan answered and sat down with Haibara on the sofa.

While Haibara kept her eyes fixed on a door in the room she noticed that had just been shut, Conan looked around the room. James was standing by the wall beside the sofa they were sitting on – he looked upset. Jodie sat down on the sofa across the tea table, and although she was smiling, Conan could tell she was unhappy about something but was trying her best to forget about it in front of her guests.

"So, what do you need?" Jodie asked as she made herself comfortable on the sofa and tucked her hands between her laps.

There were two other people – both young Caucasians, one male and one female – sitting, huddled around two laptops and a computer on the desk, at the back of the room; the female was just hanging up a phone. Conan didn't recognize them, but assumed they were FBI agents. Both of them looked frustrated and were trying to focus on their jobs while still attempting to keep an ear on the conversation across the room. The male agent didn't speak Japanese, Conan noticed, since the female was translating Jodie's question in a very soft voice.

The odd atmosphere was unnerving. Had they come at a bad time?

"We," Conan began slowly, "have something we need to tell you."

"Splendid," James remarked immediately. "We have something to tell you, too."

"Y-you do?" Conan asked and looked up at James.

Jodie smiled and shifted on the sofa, grabbing Conan's attention. She said to Conan, "Why don't you go ahead first?"

Conan looked at Haibara, who realized that she needed to pay attention not to the door but to the people around her. But she was unable to pull herself together to answer the question.

"Uh," Conan replied for her. "Haibara wants to go along with me to the exhibition on Friday."

Jodie's smile dropped and she looked taken aback. "I-I thought that..."

"I have to go there," Haibara said in a soft voice, as if she didn't want to be heard. "It's a must."

The other female agent in the room shook her head at the agent who didn't understand Japanese and mouthed in English "I can't hear her."

"No, I'm afraid you cannot go," James said and looked at Haibara, who looked at him through the corner of her eyes.

She was expectant of James' response and showed no reaction toward his statement.

"We... actually, have a good reason," Conan said, causing Haibara to look at him in surprise.

She hadn't expected that he'd agree to her going along.

"It's unnecessary to name that reason," James said. "She is not going – "

"But if I go alone – "

"That is exactly right – " James pointed firmly at Conan " – you are not going either."

Gaping, Conan stared at James as his mind went blank for a second. "W-was that what you wanted to tell me?" he asked after he got ahold of himself, receiving a nod from James. "How come?" he looked at Jodie without comprehending the sudden change in plans.

"Um..." Jodie flashed an apologetic smile and lowered her head. "I... made the decision of letting you carry out the undercover job, which was supposed to be for one of our agents, without consent from my superiors. I'm sorry."

That was completely out of expectation. All Conan could mutter was an "Oh" after recovering from the shock. "But the plan was – "

" – amazing, natural, and potentially successful." James finished the sentence for Conan, who looked up unable to understand. "Alas, the job is reserved for one of our special agents, not for anyone else, especially not for an elementary school kid, no matter how smart you are and no matter how much I deem you worthy of being recruited into the FBI. You are... anyone else – a child, a civilian..."

"So are you saying," Conan asked as he grew nervous and excited, "that if I wasn't a child but an adult like... occhan, then it wouldn't matter?"

Aware of Conan's intention, Haibara shot him a dangerous look, which he ignored. He continued looking into James' eyes, hoping that the FBI would give him a positive answer.

"You'd still be a civilian, so anyone else."

"But... occhan is a... a great detective! He'd know how to handle tough situations. H-he was once a police officer..." Conan's voice trailed off. He knew his argument was weak and pointless. "And..."

James shook his head. "He's untrained. FBI agents are different from police officers." He sat down on the armchair beside the sofa and continued, "I understand how much you want to help us, and I appreciate all the help you've given us in the past, but, this time, the undercover job at the exhibition is dangerous. We have too little information on the host of the exhibition and too little evidence that Catherine Choi is indeed involved in the Organization."

Opening his mouth, Conan wanted to point out that he was sure that Cathy was a member of the Organization, but when James looked at him and waited to hear his statement, he shut his mouth, deciding to keep quiet.

James continued, "It could very well be a normal exhibition and meeting among different companies while Catherine Choi is coincidentally involved because her father's company is a partner of the host company of the exhibition and meeting. Then it could also be what I think you fear – a trap set specifically for the FBI. Yes, I agree with you completely that we could be sending an agent straight to death, but that's... an agent's job. A duty. You are not an agent, neither is Mouri Kogoro.

"We're sending a new agent who has just been transferred over to this case, so they shouldn't be able to recognize the agent. Whereas for you two, the Organization recognizes you, especially you." He nodded gently and motioned his hand to Haibara. "I recommend that the both of you stay at home and continue with your daily activities without concerns for the Organization or our job. We will send agents to ensure safety in the area you're living in."

Nodding, Conan looked down at his feet while he sulked and searched for a reply.

Staring at the table, Haibara said in a cold and low voice, "I do not like being watched."

Surprised, Jodie explained, "But it's for your protection."

There was no response from Haibara. It was as if Jodie had never explained.

"Well," James sighed. "What do you say?"

"Has this conversation come to an end?" Haibara asked in the same cold voice without looking up, while Conan was chewing on what to say.

"I... do believe so," Jodie replied, once again, in the surprised tone.

"Then there's no more reason for me to stay here any longer," Haibara said before James could speak. She picked up her backpack, rose from the sofa, and headed for the door where she put on her shoes.

Stunned by her actions, everyone in the room, including Conan, stared at Haibara. Even though the other female agent forgot to translate what Haibara had just said, the agent who didn't understand Japanese inferred from her sudden actions what she'd said.

"H-Haibara..." Conan called out and turned to the FBI agents with an apologetic, embarrassed, but forced smile before he jumped to his feet and hurried after Haibara, who was opening the door. "Wait up! Haibara!"

Taking in a deep breath after the front door was shut with a loud click, Jodie asked in English, "What should we do?"

The door, which Haibara focused her attention on initially, opened and Akai Shuichi came out.

The agent who didn't understand Japanese whistled, causing the people in the room to fix their eyes on him. As he spun himself around on the computer chair, he said, "They seemed pretty uncompromising. I've never seen such kids before, especially not the girl. How old are they anyway?"

Shuichi looked at Jodie. "We let them do whatever they want," he said, making everyone in the room raise an eyebrow at him. "I have a feeling the little guy will come back to you later." He gestured to Jodie, who was becoming more and more astounded. "So have everything ready for what you have planned... with the addition of the girl in the picture."

"Agent Akai," James called out in a thundering but not shouting voice – the displeased expression on his face said everything. And you knew you were in trouble if your boss called you with Agent your-last-name, although, maybe not as much trouble as it would be when the Agent was dropped. "May I have a word with you?"

Out on the streets, Conan slouched, feeling glum, as he walked beside Haibara. "Well, that went really well."

"It was to be expected," Haibara answered in a bored voice, sounding as if she'd wasted her time for nothing.

Sighing deeply, Conan asked, "What should we do now?"

"Whatever we were supposed to do. We're leaving with the Suzuki's, aren't we?"

"How much _did_ you hear from the phone conversation?" Conan asked and sighed again, but Haibara ignored him. "Yeah... It's one of those combined-with-grand-ball exhibition meeting parties. We have to put up with Lady Suzuki for a long while, sadly enough." He pulled out his cellphone and muttered to himself, "I'm going to have to ask Jodie-sensei for one more favor..." Then a string of mumbles and grumbles followed as he entered the email message. "And I can't believe they undermined my skills as a detective... Those stupid FBI agents... Who do they think they are anyway?"

-x-

Sonoko flung with frustration a bag into the trunk of her family car and groaned, "Why can't your dad take care of them? We're behind schedule just because we waited for these two to show up!"

"You know how otousan is with children," said Ran, trying to soothe her best friend's anger. "And hakase's out of town."

Letting out another groan as she shut the trunk with a loud thump, Sonoko cried out and waved her hands in exasperation, "So _we're_ stuck being the babysitters! Life is so cruel! You!" She pointed to Conan and continued yelling, "You'd better not bring some homicide bad-luck thing with you again or I'm sending you straight back here to Ran's dad! You got that?" Then she opened the door and beckoned everyone into the car. "Get in! Get in!"

Haibara, who was wearing Conan's baseball cap with her hair tucked in, climbed into the car first while ignoring Sonoko's complaints. Conan followed, then Ran, and finally Sonoko.

The car sped off. Ran busied herself chatting with Sonoko to stop Sonoko from grumbling any further while Haibara, who kept her eyes fixed on the scenery outside the car, and Conan, who leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed in front of his chest, remained silent throughout the trip.

Conan's bag was sitting by his feet. He'd refused to put it in the trunk when Sonoko asked about it, even though that request without a solid reason had created more complaints from Sonoko earlier on and made her even madder at him. Nevertheless, he had to be careful with the bag – there were guns inside. This afternoon after school when he dropped by Jodie's apartment, he was given a couple guns for self-defense purposes. Haibara hadn't gone with him, so she knew little of how much they'd modified the plan, but she heard from Conan, who heard from Jodie, that Akai Shuichi managed, somehow, to persuade James Black to approve of the plan.

After a few hours drive, they arrived at the top of a hill where the main exhibition hall – a white mansion – stood. If it reminded anyone of anything, it'd be the back side, the side facing the enormous French garden, of the palace of Versailles scaled down. The ground covered in pale yellow sand and pebbles laid out the path for the cars to drive on; the mountain forest surrounded the place. In front of the mansion, there was a large marble fountain not carved into any particular shape but consisted of layers of shell-like basins.

The mansion had a few steps leading up to the front door; the wall on each side of the door had a large square window in the middle made from several smaller square crystal-looking glasses. From the outside, the building was about two stories high, and yet it looked like there was only one floor due to the lack of windows at the positions where one would expect for a second floor. _It must be a large hall_, Conan noted. There was also a small wing branching off the left side of the mansion – right side of the observer if stood facing the building. The small section to the side of the mansion looked like a green house, except that it wasn't transparent. There were no windows and no doors on the green-house-like wing.

The small detective pondered about the need for such an exhibition hall on the top of the hill. The resident halls, or hotels, as well as the buildings for the majority of the activities for the night were to be held at the foot of the hill.

The car stopped not far from the fountain. Unlike the orderliness one would usually expect among the arriving guests, the cars were parked everywhere as if it was an unofficial parking lot at a beach. Many cars left after the passengers descended, but the sight still reminded Conan of families camping at a beach.

And speaking of beaches, Conan noticed a salty smell in the air when he stepped out of the car while clutching onto his bag. They were close by the sea, and Conan could hear the waves crashing into the cliffs if he concentrated hard enough. Otherwise, the noises nearby dominated the atmosphere.

Looking around, he saw Sonoko and Ran taking out their bags from the trunk while Haibara was standing, with her back facing him, not far from him.

"Hey," Conan said as he walked up to Haibara, strapping his bag around his shoulders, and continued glancing around the area. "Do you sense any of them?"

"It's..." Haibara remarked, paying no attention to Conan, and took off her hat, shocking Conan with her action and her comment, "so nice here."

"Nice!" Conan exclaimed.

First, she took off her hat, which was supposed to hide that striking red-colored hair of hers. And then she muttered a comment that... fit the scenery but didn't fit the situation they were in.

"Oh." Haibara turned to look at Conan as she remembered his question. "As a matter of fact, I sense no one. It actually feels safer here than it did at home."

Conan gaped. "But that's..." he paused when he heard someone calling "Ran-chan" coming from the direction of the mansion. It was the very familiar coarse feminine voice. He turned around, at first reacting to the sight with wide eyes due to wonder. If Cathy had amazed him with her outfit the first time he met her, she could kill him with this one. There was a person's name he was looking for to describe Cathy... Then he frowned as he completed his sentence, "...impossible. You still don't feel anything?"

"If by 'feeling anything' you mean dread, anxiety, fear, or of the sort, then no," Haibara answered and looked over Conan's shoulder. "Tranquility, yes."

"But..." Conan glanced back-and-forth between Haibara and Cathy in utter confusion before he pointed to Cathy and said, "You see that girl over there with Ran? You don't sense anything from her? At all?"

Haibara looked toward the direction Conan was pointing. Cathy was greeting Ran... in the French way or, at least teaching Ran about the ritual. Standing beside Ran, Sonoko was impressed and couldn't wait to try out the greeting. After all, she was the romantic one.

"You mean," Haibara said, "the girl who's pretending she's Marie Antoinette?"

Marie Antoinette! That was the person Conan was trying to compare Cathy to! The Austrian princess turned French queen but later beheaded was prettier than Cathy, though.

"She has a weird taste for clothes," Haibara continued commenting. "It's not as if this is a costume ball. Is it? Who is she? Am I supposed to sense something from her?"

"You don't know her?" Conan stared at Haibara in disbelief and bewilderment and asked.

"Am I supposed to?" Haibara asked in the same bewilderment. "Why would I want to know someone like her?" Clearly, she didn't like Cathy's fashion taste.

"But she... she said that..." Conan stammered in complete confusion before he was cut off by Cathy's laughter.

"Oh!" Cathy laughed while looking back and forth between Ran and Conan. "You brought Conan-kun with you!" She beamed at Conan and when she saw Haibara, she waved. "Hey!"

Noticing Conan's tensed body and protective stance in front of her, Haibara whispered, "You don't think she's one of them, do you?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out from you!" Conan yelled back in a whisper.

"They're serving brunch in the main hall in the mansion," Cathy told Ran and Sonoko – Conan realized that Cathy had a loud voice, since he could hear her but neither Ran nor Sonoko talking, given the distance between them, but he wasn't sure if she was talking louder than usual on purpose or not. "The servants will take care of all of your bags, don't worry about them. Hey, you two!" She called out to Conan and Haibara, "Do you want to join us and have some snacks? We've got some really tasty food here!" Then she turned back to Ran. "Are they feeling out of place? I do believe they're the only kids that have come. Maybe we should send them to the hotel downhill where they can watch TV or play video games?"

"It's ok!" Conan shouted. "We'll go check out the cool fountain over there! It looks very... very..." Curses! Why did he have to say this sentence? "Very... Doraemon-like!" He finished the sentence in a squeak.

Haibara snickered behind him. "Doraemon?"

"I couldn't come up with anything else that sounded childish!" Conan defended his pride with a red face.

"Don't worry," said Haibara, unable to stop grinning. "She called you cute."

"I don't want to be called cute by _her_!" Conan's face was painted by another layer of red while he continued defending himself, "Besides... the fountain does look sort of... futuristic!"

"Sure," Haibara chuckled and looked away to muffle her laughter. How she wished she had a video camera.

And as to Conan... this day sucked.

"Have fun!" Cathy called out to Conan and Haibara before turning back to Ran and Sonoko. "Come on, let's go."

"We'll come back for you later, okay?" Ran called out to Conan before following Cathy to the mansion.

"Okay!" Conan waved and grabbed Haibara's arm while trying to hide his scarlet face. "Let's get out of here!"

Suppressing her laughter, Haibara glanced toward the trio walking toward the mansion and asked, "Are you going to leave the two of them with... the..."

"Cathy Choi! Her name is Cathy Choi!" Conan uttered with abomination as he stopped in front of the fountain, let go of Haibara's arm, folded his own arms, and sat down hard on the marble edge. If he didn't hate Cathy before, he hated her now, even if she was an innocent citizen. Dropping his bag onto the ground, he sighed after his face returned to normal color, "They should be fine – "

"Did you," Haibara asked as she recalled about the name of the Marie Antoinette double, "mention that name to me before?"

"Yes, I did," Conan answered and looked up at Haibara. "That was... after I knew... suspected her to be one of them." He paused as he watched Haibara took a seat to his left. "How come you aren't sensing anything?"

The strawberry blonde didn't hear him. Her eyes widened in shock as she recalled even more. "Did you say she reminded you of me?"

Conan's mouth fell open. Oops. "U-um..." Conan gasped as if he had just found out that there was a huge test, which he didn't study for, the next day. "It... It was a lie, okay? I didn't want you to be worried!" The redness before due to embarrassment resurfaced on his face, but this time, he was ashamed. "Y-you... have a good memory..."

"Damned with it!" Haibara sighed heavily, fumbled with the cap in her hand, and looked away. She wasn't happy, she really wasn't. To be compared to a girl like that! Intentional or not!

"I'm sorry! I really didn't mean it when I said that!" Conan clutched his head and apologized; it was probably one of the most sincere apologies made in history. "Oh my god!"

He never was good with girls, was he?

After letting his face cool down a little, Conan, feeling obligated, explained without looking at Haibara, "It was in the hospital. I heard her talking to the boss."

Haibara tensed, and even though she wanted to ignore him for the rest of the day, she found herself asking, "In person?"

"No. Over the phone."

"Well, maybe she was talking to some other boss."

"But she mentioned Gin!"

Taken aback, Haibara found herself talking nonsense. "Maybe it was the actual liquor? She... likes to drink gin?"

"But it was the way she said it." Conan paused, finally getting over the embarrassment, and continued when Haibara turned to look at him, "She said, 'My father will transfer the money into your account, boss. Ah, Gin... he'll have to wait. I have a... a...'"

"I have a what?"

"I... I can't remember," Conan lied and lowered his head, feeling even more ashamed to look up into Haibara's eyes.

"You think that'll fool me? What did she say?"

"I don't know! I can't remember! If I can't remember, I can't remember!" Conan cried out and looked at his bag sitting on the ground to his right, knowing that he was trying to convince himself more for some reason than he was trying to convince Haibara.

"I guess you're not damned, then," Haibara muttered in a whisper and turned her attention to the trees in the forest.

She wanted to say more, to twist the sentence that Cathy had said in some way so that it wouldn't be indicating that one of their members were close to them. So that Conan would be forced to tell her out of frustration. But she couldn't find anything to say. Everything would be a stretch.

Then suddenly, she didn't want to know. It was probably due to the same reason he didn't want to tell her. Maybe she didn't want the peaceful feeling to be shattered. Maybe she didn't want to think that it was possible for the Organization to recruit a brand new group of "staff" whom she knew nothing about, whom she could sense nothing from. The FBI decided to send new strangers, so why couldn't they?

Sighing inwardly, Haibara played with the cap in her hand and put it on her head, but this time, without tucking her hair under the cap to appear boyish.

The world around Conan fell silent. So silent all of the sudden that he jerked up to look around at his environment. Only then did he hear the cars driving by, the people talking, and the fountain splashing. He thought aloud, "It's like we're not part of the world a few meters away from us."

"I told you this place has its charms. I like it," Haibara said in a soft voice, still looking at the trees.

For the first time in these few minutes, Conan looked at Haibara. He wasn't sure why she responded to his comment. "You've been talking a lot, lately," he remarked and looked down at the yellow sanded ground, not noticing Haibara's indignant stare at the forest. It changed, however, when he completed his comment – a blush appeared on her face.

Smirking and looking at the ground, he had said, "I like it."

-x-

(TBC)


	10. TWO

**CH 10 - TWO**

-x-

He wasn't expecting them. She wasn't expecting them either. Their arrival messed up the plans of both sides.

Accompanying a bluish grey BMW 545i, two black jeeps drove up to and parked before the steps of the mansion, which was soaked in the orange red glow of the setting sun. People shouldn't have taken any notice of the three vehicles, but everyone's gaze subsequently turned to the passengers stepping out of the jeeps.

FBI.

There were six of them - three from each jeep. Each of them was wearing the custom blue uniforms with the big, yellow "FBI" letters printed on the back of their jackets. Two of them, whom Conan labeled as agent number one and agent number two, hurried up the stairs but came into confrontation with Cathy at the door.

While the two agents were talking to Cathy, Haibara nudged Conan and asked, "What are they doing here?"

"I have no idea," Conan answered and pulled out his cellphone. Without taking his eyes off the agents, he dialed the number to Jodie's cellphone and identified his agent number five as Jodie.

She dug out her phone from her pocket and turned slightly away from the jeep she was standing beside as she received the call. But before she could say Hello, she saw Conan peeking out from behind the fountain. From noticing the phone pressed against Conan's ear, she knew who made the call.

"Act casual," Conan said and disappeared from Jodie's view. "What are you doing here?"

"It's purely coincidental," Jodie said as she turned away from the fountain and rested her arm on the roof of the jeep to lean against the vehicle. "This is a different case."

By this time, agent number one and number two had stepped past an expression-hardened Cathy and entered the mansion. The people were murmuring among themselves while Cathy, keeping her eyes on the jeeps, moved away from the door to a pillar to the side.

"How come I didn't know about it?" Conan asked.

"It has nothing to do with you," Jodie said with a shrug and looked up at the mansion door when the two agents exited with three men and a woman. "Sorry, I have to go."

"Hey, wait - "

But it was too late. Jodie hung up.

"Look." Haibara tipped her head toward the mansion as Conan, with a grumble, put away his cellphone.

Now that he could see their faces, Conan realized that agent number two was James Black. Agent number one was wearing sunglasses, so he couldn't tell exactly who it was, but she looked like the translator agent he'd met at Jodie's house the other day. Among the three men who followed the two agents, one of them helped agent number one escort the woman and one of the other men - seemingly the woman's husband from the way he held her hand - to the BMW. James remained on the steps and spoke to the last of the three men, who was looking rather pale but nodding in agreement with whatever James was talking about. Cathy continued to stare at the agents.

Before the couple could get into the car, however, a gunshot came from inside the mansion. By instinct, Conan grabbed Haibara's arm while the people at the door screamed and moved away from the door, thus opening a path for the gunman in a suit to reach the steps of the mansion. James pulled out a gun and hauled the pale-faced man he was talking to down the stairs as he stepped in front of the pale-faced man as protection. Cathy shifted to the side of the pillar away from the door.

All the other agents drew out their guns as well and shouted orders to each other and the gunman, but they knew they had a weakness - they couldn't fire because of the other civilians crowding around in disorder. The gunman fired again at the couple, whom agent number one pushed into the BMW before she and the other man jumped into the car. The BMW backed away from the mansion and sped off, but not before the bullets dented the metal body in several places.

The gunman began taking steps back into the mansion and, amidst the disarray, he grabbed the person nearest to him as hostage. Much to Conan's shock, Ran had to be standing at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Ran!" Conan let go of Haibara, activated his power-assisted kick-shoes, and rushed toward the mansion as he fumbled with his belt.

He shouldn't have worried. Not for Ran. No.

Ran jabbed her elbow into the gunman's stomach, thus causing the gunman to loosen his grip around Ran's neck. Then Ran spun around and kicked the back of the gunman's head, making the gunman smack onto the ground while his gun slipped out of his hand and bounced down the steps.

Everyone stood stunned at Ran's karate self-defense, even Conan and the FBI. The FBI especially. They gaped at the moaning gunman with their mouths open, whereas Ran placed her hands over her pounding heart and sighed in relief.

Jodie snapped out of the shock first. "Put your hands behind your head!" she ordered the gunman, who groaned and obeyed.

As the other agents handcuffed the gunman, Sonoko, Jodie and some other guests surrounded Ran, each with something different to say to Ran. Sonoko was relieved, Jodie was grateful, while the other people were saying things mixed between relief and gratitude. Even Cathy smiled at the sight of an embarrassed Ran.

After a few minutes, the FBI agents climbed into the jeeps with the gunman and drove off. Haibara watched the jeeps leave and then fixed her eyes on Conan again. He was still standing on the spot where he'd reached when Ran saved herself. At first, he was looking at Ran in relief, but his attention turned to focus on Cathy when he caught sight of her adjusting her white hat decorated with blue feathers before re-entering the mansion.

"Haibara," Conan called out and cast a glance toward the strawberry blonde before running off to the mansion. "You wait here."

A lady of about fifty years old at the door attempted to stop Cathy by speaking to her, but Cathy just smiled in respond and patted the lady's shoulder before disappearing into the crowd. The lady then tried to convince some of the guests to stay - some of them were scared by the gun fight and wanted to leave the exhibition.

Conan squeezed through the crowd of people and into the mansion. He wasn't afraid of losing Cathy among so many people. Most of the guests wore suits or gowns, but Cathy's eighteenth century blue, flowery aristocratic dress was as striking as Haibara's red hair. Besides, Cathy was also wearing a hat with long blue feathers sticking out above people's heads.

He followed Cathy into the small wing where there were fewer people and found her talking on a cell phone while she stood beside a refreshment table. Dodging under the red-clothed table, Conan crawled from one end of the table to the other end where Cathy was standing. Sometimes, being stuck in a child's body could be rather convenient and... not as embarrassing.

"The FBI," said Cathy, "they were here. But they left... To protect a U.S. senator... There was an undercover to overlook the safety of the senator, but they've all left... I'm not sure... No..."

It was handy that Cathy was standing so near to the table. Noticing the little bit of the gauze cape she was wearing sticking under the table cloth, Conan got an idea. He lifted the table cloth a little and tucked a transmitter into the folds of Cathy's blue dress. It was nice that her dress naturally had many folds and layers and adornments. He didn't have to use gum to attempt to stick the transmitter somewhere on her shoe.

"Conan-kun! What are you doing under the table?" Ran demanded as she lifted the table cloth, looked under the table, and dragged the surprised little detective out from under the table. "I saw you running into the mansion and I thought you were looking for me, but what are you doing under the table? And how could you leave Ai-chan out there alone?"

"I... I..." Avoiding Ran's angry eyes, Conan glanced around and saw Sonoko leading Haibara, who was dragging his bag with her, toward them and Cathy, who had ended her phone conversation, smiling at them. Better change the subject. "I'm hungry, Ran-neechan!"

"Hungry?" Ran blurted out in surprise. "Oh, I suppose you thought there was food under the table?"

"Why not?" Conan asked with a childish smile and kept his eyes fixed on Ran's face to stop himself from staring at the leaving Cathy.

Ran sighed and grabbed a paper plate on the table. "Food is placed on top of tables, understood?"

Conan smiled and nodded as Ran filled the plate with some cakes and handed it to him.

"Do you want some, Ai-chan?" Ran asked as she reached out for another plate but stopped when Haibara responded with a shake of her head.

"I think they'll be safer in the hotel, Ran," said Sonoko. "We could buy some dinner at the hotel restaurant for them before we leave for the dinner party. They'll be bored if they come along with us anyway."

"Yeah." Ran nodded and grabbed a napkin to wipe off the cream smudged around Conan's mouth. "Let's go."

-x-

Conan hung up his cellphone and sat down on the bed next to the one Haibara was sitting on.

"I can't believe you revealed his identity to her," Haibara said and crossed her arms and legs.

"They need the information," Conan explained as he set his cellphone aside on the bedspread. "Jodie-sensei was shocked, too. But things should become easier now that they know who they're searching for, especially when it is someone whom they've protected."

"So what was it that happened this afternoon?"

Conan looked up at Haibara. "An assassination plot against the U.S. senator. The person whom James Black was talking to is her brother, who is a CEO invited to this exhibition. He then invited his sister and her husband along. But don't you think there was something strange about the gun fight this evening?"

"That the assassin was a stupid man?" Haibara raised her eyebrows and asked. "Or that the incident shouldn't be completely unrelated to the Organization?"

"I'm not sure. There's just something that's not right... Do you still not feel anything?"

Haibara shook her head.

They remained in silence for a couple minutes - Conan in deep thought about the situation and Haibara in relaxation - before Conan's cellphone rang.

"Jodie-sensei?" Conan greeted as he picked up the phone.

The strawberry blonde watched with slight amusement and anxiety as the detective's face expression changed from concentration to apprehension to seriousness.

"Anything happening in Beika?" asked Conan. "Oh. Okay. Thank you. No, nothing here either." Returning the cellphone into his pocket, Conan stood up from the bed and began pacing up and down the room. "He's not at home."

"Did you think he'd sit on his sofa and wait to be caught?" Haibara kept her eyes on the floor so that the pacing up and down of the detective wouldn't make her dizzy.

"How come you aren't sensing anything?" Conan asked for the nth time, though, it was more like pondering out loud to himself this time - he didn't expect Haibara to reply. "Nothing's happening in Beika. Nothing's happening here. It's like they've just disappeared. But that's impossible." He stopped his pacing and looked at Haibara. "Why is nothing happening?"

"How should I know?" Haibara shrugged. When Conan continued staring at her, signaling that he wasn't satisfied with her answer, she added, "What did you expect? A hydrogen bomb exploding above our heads?"

"Yeah, something like that," Conan retorted and resumed his pacing. "I don't like this. I don't like this at all... What are we supposed to do?!" He was close to pulling his hair out. Poor Conan.

"Your pacing up and down the room won't help us."

Conan let out a cry. "I don't understand you! How can you just sit there and pretend nothing is going on? It's ridiculous for you to be so relaxed!"

Haibara deadpanned and reached for the TV remote. "Nothing is going on," she said in a calm voice. "I admit," she continued as she turned on the TV, "I don't like this silence either, but I've never felt this kind of tremendous tranquillity before. I quite like the feeling."

"But peace before a storm - "

" - is the most dangerous, I know. But what can you do? I'm aware that you detest being a sitting duck, but being a flying duck won't help you. What are you running from? Where are you running to? You don't know. You'll become so exhausted that you'll plunge to your death. If not, you wouldn't have enough energy to run when the fox does show up. It's more pathetic than being a stupid sitting duck. Why not take this time to relax? Worrying or not worrying, what difference does it make?"

Conan blinked. Haibara sounded as if she was helping a friend or a relative decide which college to go to - the advantages and disadvantages to attending each college.

"You're right." Sighing, Conan sat down on the bed and tried to chill out. But it wasn't a minute before he collapsed backwards onto the bed, waving his arms and kicking his legs in midair out of frustration. "I just feel stupid sitting here and doing nothing! Like I'm wasting time when I'm not supposed to!"

"Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted time."

"But I'm not enjoying this wasted time! I should be doing something! A stupid sitting duck is as bad as a pathetic flying duck!"

"You could always be an alert sitting duck."

"How?" Conan exclaimed in exasperation and stared at the TV after he stopped his waving and kicking. If only TV programs were hypnotic... "Hey! Go back a channel!" he shouted with glee and sat up on the bed. "It was soccer!"

Ah. Yes. Soccer. It wasn't that the match was so exciting or that he really wanted to watch the game. He just needed something to distract his mind. And soccer, well, it was better than, say, soap operas.

Haibara tossed the remote to Conan while she chose to stare out the window and into the darkness. For a long moment, only the narrator's voice from the TV was heard in the room.

"Hey, Haibara."

The strawberry blonde grunted a reply.

"Haven't you ever gotten mad before, snapped, and yelled at people just because you're so stressed out?"

"...If I did, I'd be lowering myself to a level you'd just put yourself at - waving your arms and legs around like a helpless octopus." Haibara paused as she continued to look out the window. "Octopus..." she mumbled, "If you're nice to them, they're also nice to you. But as intelligent as they are, they camouflage; you can't trust them."

Conan felt a jolt in his heart and looked up at Haibara, who had a small, sad smile on her face.

"So many myths dub certain types of octopus or squid as man-eaters," Haibara whispered.

"But that's only when the fishermen agitate them." Conan felt a need to defend himself, even though he wasn't sure if he was thinking of the same reference as Haibara was.

"Unfortunately, they aren't smart enough to tell fishermen apart from innocent souls. And yet, there are people trying their best to prove the gentleness of those creatures despite potential dangers during research and filming. Do you know where they get such love for those beings? I've never understood how the minds of those marine biologists work."

Conan didn't respond. It was clear from the way Haibara posed the question - it was one not to be answered. If Conan listened closer, he might have sensed the little bit of self-mockery in Haibara's tone.

"Haibara..." Conan looked down at the floor and struggled to put his thoughts into words. "I... Damn." His hand shot up to his glasses to tune them. "Choi is leaving. She's heading toward the exhibition hall. I'm going."

Eyes widening, the strawberry blonde stared at the detective, absolutely horrified. "You placed a locator on her? When? You are insane!"

"She's the only clue we have!" Conan opened his bag and poured out its contents.

"But that doesn't mean you can... If they find out - "

"Are you coming?" Conan asked as he tucked a gun in his jacket.

"What do you think?"

"Then take one," Conan said and tossed another gun to Haibara. "We have to get going."

"How are you going to explain our absence when she returns from the dinner?" Haibara asked as the two of them rushed out of the hotel and headed up the hill.

Pulling out his cellphone and switching on the light of his watch, Conan said as he started inputting letters into the phone, "I'll leave a message on Ran's phone, telling her that hakase came by and picked us up because we were too bored to stay here."

"That's the stupidest lie I've heard thus far. What if she calls hakase?"

"Don't worry." Conan winked and smirked. "I already told this part of the plan to hakase. I even told him to pretend he wasn't home in case the three of them dropped by. Everyone here will be leaving tomorrow morning, so we don't have to worry about involving other people. It's perfect."

"No, it's moronic."

"Stop complaining!" Conan said and hushed Haibara as they approached the mansion. "She's inside. I hope she left the door unlocked."

And she did, indeed.

Conan pushed opened the big, white door of the mansion and shined the light inside. There was no one visible in the dark exhibition hall. As the sensor in his glasses indicated, Cathy was nearby, but when Conan approached closer to the indicated location, he found he was walking into a wall.

"I think we should leave," Haibara said in a whisper as she clutched the gun hidden inside her coat.

"Now look who's the one worrying. What is with this wall...?" Conan mumbled and paced along the wall, which extended from a window in the exhibition hall to the hallway linking the main hall to the branched wing. "Whoa, check this out!"

When he reached and looked down the hallway toward the small wing, he discovered that the door to the small wing was closed while most of the right wall of the hallway was missing. Or rather, the wall was like a wooden door lifted up to the ceiling. Beyond the wall-door, there was a metal spiral staircase that went in both up and down directions.

"Do you think that the door to the small wing acts like some sort of switch to this 'wall' that leads to the hidden parts of this mansion?" Conan wondered as he walked toward the staircase and examined it. "I should've paid more attention to the structure of this building when I was here earlier this evening. Oh well. What do you say?" He looked at Haibara, who remained in the hallway. "Let's check out the rest of the mansion, shall we?"

"That's a bad idea," Haibara whispered through her teeth and stared at the staircase. "We should leave while we still can. I can sense them... They're downstairs..."

Shining the light of his watch onto his surroundings, Conan muttered, ignoring Haibara, "I really wonder who designed this house. To be able to make a house into something similar to a portal between two worlds... I'm impressed. Downstairs, you say?"

"Don't go," Haibara called out in a low voice to Conan, who was about to descend the stairs.

The detective looked up at the strawberry blonde. "You don't have to come," he said as he stepped onto the stairs.

"You'll get yourself killed..." Haibara mumbled in a voice that was barely audible to herself and hurried after Conan.

"I thought you weren't coming," Conan commented after they'd gone down one storey and received a glare from Haibara.

Unlike the exhibition hall, the floor they were currently on had no general open space. It was composed of hallways with doors that led to other rooms - similar to an apartment building. Without a definite destination, Conan randomly opened a door not far from him and found himself staring into a room loaded with bookshelves and books. It looked like some sort of library.

Tugging Conan's sleeves and looking around with uncertainty, Haibara whispered, "We really should leave. This is a very bad idea. Do you hear me?"

The silent hallway was suddenly filled with people's murmurings from downstairs. Startled, Conan and Haibara jerked their heads toward the staircase they'd just descended from - also where the source of the sounds was coming from.

"Shh." Conan dragged Haibara into the room and shut the door before he pulled her to the back of the room to hide behind the innermost bookshelf. "There're so many rooms," Conan whispered. "The chance of them coming to this one - "

The door opened.

_Is a hundred percent... Damn._ Conan finished the sentence in his mind with a squeak. Pulling out his gun quietly, Conan squeezed Haibara's hand, hoping to provide her with a sense of security, but even his hand was trembling.

Several people shuffled into the room. One of them seemed to be looking for a book among the bookshelves.

"Just because I'm new," Cathy's voice said, "doesn't mean you can push me around, you know."

"Oh, you are so cute," another voice said with sarcasm, "little Chartreuse."

Vermouth.

"Do _not_ add 'little' in front of my codename! I'm most important!" said Cathy.

Conan could imagine her nose stuck up in the air.

"The job is. _You_ are not," a cold voice muttered.

Both Conan and Haibara tensed even more when they heard his voice.

Gin.

Cathy snorted and replied with an indignant mutter, "I finished something that the Miyanos couldn't."

Haibara almost jumped, but she managed to keep herself together by tightening her grip on Conan's hand.

"It's not finished until you place the end product in front of me."

Doctor Araide.

Even though he already knew, Conan couldn't help but feel the same shock and fear he'd felt when Haibara first whispered the name into his ear. Knowing from the name was one thing, hearing his actual voice was another... and seeing him, when the time comes, would be, once again, different. And yet, part of him didn't want to believe what seemed to be the absolute truth.

There was a heavy sigh from Cathy. "Two days. You'll have it in two days."

"Here's the book you want," Doctor Araide said.

"Thanks," Cathy replied. "So wait," she continued as the feet shuffled out of the room, "why did we - "

The door closed.

After spending the next few minutes in complete silence to make sure all of them had left, Conan let out a sigh of relief and slumped onto the floor. "They were just here for a book..."

-x-

(TBC)


	11. I Think, Therefore I Am

**CH 11 - I Think, Therefore I Am** (or: I Kill, Therefore I Am)

-x-

"But I wonder," said Conan, surveying the books from where he was sitting on the floor. "Do you think we'll find anything useful here?"

Upon hearing the question, Haibara lifted her head to examine the books in front of her. Now that the immediate danger of the Organization had receded, Haibara became aware of the environment. "No," she replied.

"Well," Conan said and stood up with a grunt. "One won't know until one tries."

"The books here are similar to the books at a public library. You won't find anything you want."

Surprised, Conan held back his hand and looked at Haibara. "How do you know?"

Lowering her eyes, Haibara took a step away from the bookshelf she'd been leaning against and turned toward the passageway leading to the door. "You should leave."

"Must you bring it back to - hey, what about you?"

"I'm not obliged to tell you my plans."

"I see," Conan remarked with a tinge of annoyance. "I'm not obliged to follow your orders either."

A moment of silence passed between them before Haibara grabbed his hand. "Go back to the hotel, Kudo-kun," she said as she led him to the door. "Take the antidote and forget that the Organization ever existed. From tomorrow onward, everything should return to normal - for you." She opened the door and motioned him to leave.

He frowned. "Why are you still thinking that way?"

"Please, just go."

"No! What do you mean everything should return to normal for me? What are you trying to do?"

"Don't force me."

"How can you expect me to walk away and pretend a part of me never existed? That's not something I can do, and you know it."

"I told you," Haibara said with a strained voice as she pulled out her gun and pointed it at Conan's head. "Leave. This isn't a place for you."

"Haibara..." Conan's eyes widened with shock. He took a step backwards and asked, "What is the meaning of this?"

"You need to understand that there is someone else who needs your protection more than I do right now. Please, go to her."

Although he was still stunned, he complied. Loosening the tension in his body, he looked away and sighed. "I really don't understand you," he said and walked past Haibara, who lowered her gun a bit each time she heard him take a step. "Oh," he said and halted at the stairway, causing Haibara to turn around. "I almost forgot. The Detective Boys are going on a camping trip next weekend."

"Huh? How come I didn't know..." - her voice trailed off - "about it?"

"It's only an invitation," Conan added, never turning once to look at her. "But I hope to see you there." And with that, he climbed up the metal spiral stairs. Every time his shoe made contact with the metal surface, there was a soft, echoing clatter. It sounded fainter and fainter, and soon, it was gone.

After shutting the door of the mini-library with a click, Haibara headed down the dimly lit hallway in the other direction without putting away the gun in her hand. She had wanted to carry out her plans swiftly to minimize dangers, but instead, she found that she was dragging her feet along.

It's only an invitation, he said.

Staring at her feet as if she was counting the number of steps taken to calculate the length of the path, she walked until she arrived at another stairway - this time, going downstairs. Will she make it, she wondered, to the gathering?

We'll go someday later, then? Mitsuhiko had asked.

Haibara sighed and pressed her left hand against her forehead. "Focus," she told herself. Two stories, she recalled, the laboratories are situated two stories below this floor.

Taking a deep breath, she descended the stairs with a hasty pace. Part of her feared bumping into someone on basement level two, and part of her doubted her plan. But the part of her fear dissolved as soon as she reached basement level three. Except for the few researchers, hardly anyone visited the laboratory floor.

She hurried past a couple doors of labs she knew existed but in which the research she was not associated with and arrived at the one she had formally run. As long as the number key used to unlock the door wasn't changed, she would be well off with a head start.

_I should've known that things wouldn't be so easy_. Haibara bit her lips after the system denied her access when the number she had input was 4869. She tried several other numbers commonly used within the Organization, but none worked. _Think... If I wanted to use a number that the Organization was not familiar with... Planck's constant?_

Error.

_Avogadro's number?_

Error.

_Alpha? No, but that's usually a three-digit sacred number. And it's mostly the physicists who use it. Unless..._

Deciding to give it a try, she entered the number that often opened the briefcases of physicists - with some manipulation, of course - and the door unlocked.

_I see. The person who picked up what I'd left behind really didn't want interference from the other members. And_, Haibara thought with displeasure as she entered the room, _I'm not too surprised to know why. The lab is in such a mess._

It wasn't a mess like one made by a tornado but one made because of a lack of clean-up discipline after each experiment. Nevertheless, the main lab table on which final products and research papers were placed was in good condition.

_APTX-4869_, Haibara thought as she stood before the main lab table. _There are so many of them._

The stacks of paper lying beside the APTX container caught her attention, and she picked up a stack after setting the gun down on the table. On the top left corner of each sheet, there was a different alphabet, and every piece of paper was covered in numbers, calculations. _What're all these?_ Haibara wondered. After leafing through some twenty of such pieces of paper, she found one that was different. A chart was printed on it. In one column, there were words such as alanine and cysteine. In another, there were the one-letter abbreviations for words - A for alanine, C for cysteine, and so on.

_Wait, these are amino acids. Then these calculations_, Haibara thought as she glanced through the papers for a second time, _are for the amino acids. But for what?_

The stack that she was looking through contained no answers to her question. They were, except for the chart of chemical properties of the different amino acids, all calculations without a note that explained what each calculation was for. After returning the stack of papers to its original position, she began flipping through another stack. More calculations - some crossed out. Then she came across a printed email - an exchange of email between two people, to be more exact.

- Galatea is not it. I need the actual antidote. If not, I'd like to meet with Sherry herself. There's still something missing to perfect it.

- Meet me, then, at AO at 6 p.m. tomorrow. P.S. Don't count on the antidote.

There was a red circle around "AO" made by a marker. The date was a day three weeks ago. The exchange was between Chartreuse and anonymous.

_Antidote..._ Haibara creased her eyebrows. _Why does the Organization need the antidote? I don't understand..._

Frustrated, Haibara gave up searching through the papers. Why did she pick up the papers anyway? She was here to dispose the APTX-4869 pills. Shaking the container in her hand, she pondered about the method to get rid of the pills completely. Eyeing the papers, she thought of a method to destroy the papers that would destroy the pills as well, and if she modified things a little, it'll be quick, too.

The chemist searched through the cupboards and found a clay pot. Dumping the pills and the papers into the pot, she then found a lid to cover the pot securely, but not before filling the pot with hydrogen gas. Putting on a pair of goggles and lighting a match, Haibara shifted the lid enough to throw the match into the pot and backed away as fast as she could. Nonetheless, the boom still caused her to stumble to the ground. It was a good thing that the walls were sound-proof.

With that taken care of, Haibara took off the goggles, threw them aside, and sat in front of the computer. To her surprise and relief, it wasn't locked. There were two things she needed to do: delete Kudo Shinichi's name from the list of victims and delete the file on APTX-4869. The first one was easy to do while she mentally told herself that Kudo-kun owed her big time. The second task, however...

_If I deleted it from the network system, then all those time I spent working on it, that mom and dad and..._

Haibara opened the file for the last time but she didn't look at it. It wasn't a good research. It wasn't one that she wanted to do. But still, to wipe out the trace of its existence with just a few clicks of an electronic device...

How can you expect me to walk away and pretend a part of me never existed? he asked.

"No, I can't." Haibara leaned her forehead on the edge of the table and said, "Because that's who you are." _Now I understand why you don't want me to run away. It's never easy to let go of something that one cares a lot for. But does it matter to me now?_

Haibara lifted her head and moved the mouse to exit the file, but her eyes caught sight of the several lines visible on the page. _Oh yeah, different proteins composite Apotoxin-4869... Apotoxin!_ Haibara's eyes widened with shock and realization. _I haven't seen it spelled in its full name for such a long time that I forgot why and how _- she glanced toward the burnt claypot where the papers once were - _so that's why there were those calculations, that's why the person wanted the antidote... Damn. I have it wrong, completely wrong!_

"Kudo-kun!" Haibara shot up from the chair, snatched her gun off the table and rushed out the lab. "Oof!"

"Haibara?"

Haibara deadpanned without lowering her gun that she'd loaded on first reaction after bumping into him. "Kudo."

"Wow! Fancy seeing you here!" Conan laughed nervously. "It's all good, Haibara - put down the gun."

Haibara glared as she stood up and lowered the gun-holding hand to her side. "What are you doing here?"

"Weather's nice, isn't it?" Conan asked in hopes of soothing the not-too-happy Haibara. When the strawberry blond made no response, Conan dropped the smile. "Did you seriously think I'd leave you here alone?"

"What have you seen on this floor?" Haibara demanded.

"You're really unkind! I came to look for you and you start accusing me of poking my nose around! Just as you said, we need to leave." Conan smiled a toothy smile and gestured to the staircase.

"What did you find?"

"You're not letting this go, are you?" The detective glanced at a door not far from where they were standing. "What do you think?" He looked at Haibara again. "We need to talk. But not here."

"Why? Did someone see you?"

The detective smirked and tapped his watch. "It was no problem. Besides, you wouldn't believe how talkative she was when compared to a certain someone. Come on, let's go."

"I can't believe you." Haibara pulled her hand away from Conan's grasp. "Just how long is your anesthetic going to keep her down and the people around us safe? It won't be forever before her 'talkativeness' reveals all of us."

"Everything will be fine if you come, trust me!"

"Does it matter where we go now?"

"Come on!"

The door of the other lab opened, alarming Conan and Haibara. They saw a grimacing Cathy leaning against the door post with one hand holding up a gun and another clutching onto her leg. The portion of the lab coat she was wearing that was around her leg was soaked with blood.

"You stabbed yourself to keep awake," Conan uttered with astonishment.

"Yeah. You underestimated me. I may be careless and clumsy, but I'm not a fool. Actually, maybe I am, when I thought you really liked it. But I'm afraid that you need to go now."

Conan gritted his teeth and thought of what to do. But it happened too fast. The trigger pulled. The blood splattered. The body fell. The gun clattered. And something metal clanked.

"Haibara... You killed her..."

"The walls are sound-proof, and this floor is empty most of the time. If we move now, we'll be able to get out of here alive."

"Why did you kill her?" Conan cried out and spun around, only to see a calm Haibara resting the gun on her shoulder.

Haibara turned her head to the side to avoid his eyes. "It was either you or her. Who do you think I'd let die?"

"I could've used the inflatable soccer ball - "

"And you'd win against a bullet traveling faster than the speed of sound."

"I... That still doesn't excuse you from killing someone!"

"And it's okay if she kills you?"

"No! But it's not okay for you to kill her either!"

"Now's not the time to argue..." the strawberry blond turned and headed to the stairs.

"So now you're scared - "

"I'm not scared - "

"And you wanted me to not call you a murderer anymore - "

"It was self-defense - "

"That's not - "

"You can do whatever you want with justice," Haibara raised her voice and lowered it again, letting her hand with the gun fall to her side, "but just do it after you're safe..."

Conan fell silent. Then he glanced at the dead Cathy. A blasted head. A red lab coat. A motionless key.

_So that was what clanked_, Conan thought when he saw the key. The last time he saw the key was in her car. It was spinning like a windmill but only in a different direction, a different style.

He left, half wishing that he would see Haibara's smirk and hear her say "Just kidding." For what, though, he didn't know.

It was raining outside. Cars were parked everywhere with FBI agents scurrying around. Even a helicopter was descending.

Haibara was standing by the roadside, half-turned towards him, looking at him with repentance and melancholy.

Jodie rushed toward them with an umbrella, brought them together, and jostled them into a car. She jumped in as well and instructed the driver to bring them to the hotel.

Conan tucked his hands between his head and the back of the seat, looking out the window on his side.

Haibara, after Jodie took the gun from her, leaned her head against the window on her side, watching the rain drops beat against the panel and roll down like tears.

_Why didn't you tell me that the FBI would be coming, Ku - Edogawa-kun?_

-x-

(TBC)


	12. Useful Truth, Useless Truth

**CH 12 - Useful Truth, Useless Truth**

-x-

Ran staggered. "What is the meaning of this? What happened?" she demanded. When she received no response, facial or verbal, she transferred her gaze from the two drenched and downcast seven-year-olds to the solemn FBI agent. "Jodie-sensei, what happened?"

Tightening her grip on the umbrella handle, Jodie pressed her lips together before looking into Ran's eyes and replying, "It's... the same kidnapper from last time. You remember, don't you?" She forced out a small smile. "It was at the harbor, and you hid in the trunk of my car."

"What's going on?" Sonoko yawned and, rubbing her eyes, walked up to peek over Ran's shoulders. "What are you doing here, Jodie-sensei?"

"I remember that time," said Ran. "But why? And how? Wait a minute." She looked at the two seven-year-olds. "Where's hakase? Shouldn't he have picked you up? Conan-kun? Ai-chan? What's going on? Someone tell me!"

Jodie sighed. "It would probably be a better idea if you didn't push the children to answer any questions right now. They're tired; they've been through a lot. And I need to return to work now. If you want, you can ask us questions in the morning. Meanwhile, let them rest to recover a little."

"I - all right."

Jodie smiled. "Thank you. Good night."

"Good night," Ran replied in a husky voice. Disappointed and upset, she waited until Jodie entered the elevator before stepping away from the door. "Come on, you two. Change into dry clothes and go to sleep before you catch a cold, okay?"

"Yeah, Ran-neechan," Conan responded in a low voice.

-x-

It was raining again the next morning. Inside Jodie's car, which sped down the highway, it was silent except for the pitter-patters of the raindrops, the swishes of the wipers, and the whooshing of the passing cars.

"Um..." Ran started but immediately regretted how shaky she sounded.

Jodie glanced at Ran through the rear-view mirror. "You don't need to worry anymore," she said and winked at Haibara, who was sitting in the front seat. "The convict was shot by one of our agents in the confrontation last night."

Conan's head jerked up in reaction to the statement and he stared at the back of Jodie's head for a moment before trying to catch a glimpse of Haibara. He frowned, sunk back into his seat, and resumed his musings.

"Oh," said Ran, not expecting such additional information.

Sonoko groaned. "Why do these kinds of things always happen to us? Now we have to go home a day early. A good weekend spoiled. I'll bet you brought us this bad luck again!" She glared at Conan but was taken aback by his non-responsiveness.

"It doesn't matter who brought the luck. I just want to know what really happened." Ran leaned forward and continued, "Jodie-sensei, it couldn't have been a simple kidnapping case. I heard that there were a lot of FBI agents last night. To summon such a large force, you have to have been tracking down some strong organization or the sort. What exactly is going on? Why does it always seem to involve Conan-kun and Ai-chan?"

All the sudden, the car seemed harder to control. As she gripped the steering-wheel tighter and began directing the car to the emergency lane, Jodie replied, "Believe me, it would be best for you if you didn't know anything about it."

"Are they still in danger? Are Conan-kun and Ai-chan still in danger?"

"No, of course not!" Jodie shot a glance backwards at Ran and said with a weak smile before she halted the car. "I told you not to worry - "

"Then why can't I know what's going on?"

A car that zipped past them cut into the emergency lane and screeched to a stop.

The dispatcher's radio crackled and a man's voice asked, "Everything all right, Saintemillion?"

"Yes, yes."

Ran scoffed and remarked with bitterness, "Not to mention we have an entire car of escorts."

Flashing a sympathetic smile, Jodie said, "Well, no matter how good your karate skills are, you won't be able to win against guns." Besides, there were only two agents in that car.

"That's not true!" Sonoko retorted. "Ran's skills are the best! Remember that guy yesterday? She had him crawling on his knees when the FBI didn't even know what to do! You were super brave, Ran!"

"What guy?" Ran looked at Sonoko, puzzled. "Oh! That man. I remember him. Wait, what was that all about anyway?"

"Maybe it's connected to all this madness!"

"Do you really think so?"

"It has to! I mean, when you think about it - "

Listening to the exchange between the two best friends, Jodie chuckled. "I wouldn't be surprised if you two solved this case before we did."

Sonoko laughed. "Am I a genius or what?"

On the other hand, however, Ran could only mutter dejectedly, "So it isn't solved yet, then." After those words tumbled out, she let out a small gasp and looked at Conan from the corner of her eyes. _Conan-kun..._

"But that man," Jodie said as she leaned back into her seat. "He's one of our undercover agents."

"Say what?" Ran and Sonoko blurted out together.

"We were afraid that going undercover for the actual case would expose our intentions and put the enemy on the offensive while us on the defensive. Because of the need to meet so many people's concerns, it turned out to be quite a complicated plan. Essentially, we wanted to lower the enemy's guard by making them think that we were here to investigate an entirely different case. We wanted to show them that yes, we do have undercover, but it has nothing to do with you, and now, we will pull out, so relax. For now, it seems like they've been fooled."

Conan lifted his head and looked into the rear-view mirror. "Was the senator one of your people, too?"

"Oh, no. She's a real senator. We just asked for her help; she owed us a favor anyway."

"For what?" Sonoko asked. "Hold on, what senator?"

Jodie waved her hand. "Don't worry about it."

"So you never needed Ran's... neechan's aid?" Conan asked, pinching himself on the arm for almost forgetting the "neechan."

"Nope. It was all planned out, but Ran's self-defense made things a little easier and much more natural. By the way, we owe you big thanks, Miss Mouri, even though it was extremely shocking to see one of our agents beaten up like that."

"Oh no! I didn't hurt him badly, did I?"

"Only bruises. He's alive."

"I'm so sorry! I had no idea!"

"All's well. No need to fret."

"I really think I should pay him a visit to apologize!"

"Nah. You don't have to, really. It's part of our job - self-sacrifice - so don't worry."

"Yeah!" Sonoko slapped Ran's shoulder with a huge grin on her face. "Don't take it personally, Ran. Just think: you were a big help!"

"Yeah..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Sonoko, nothing." Ran shook her head and lowered her gaze. "It's just Shinichi - I haven't heard from him in a while. I'm getting worried. And now, Conan-kun as well." She sniffled, causing Sonoko to be alarmed. "I don't understand. Why is it that no one ever tells me anything? Why are the people who are important to me always engaging in such dangerous things while I have to sit and wait?" Breaking into sobs, she continually wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Why is sitting and waiting all I can do? Why doesn't anyone tell me anything? Why?"

Conan could only sink further into his seat and look out the window, while Jodie rested her hands on top of the steering-wheel and leaned her cheek against her hands.

It continued raining throughout the day. Even Haibara couldn't stare at the wet window pane anymore.

-x-

Haibara came out of the shower, poured herself some hot chocolate, and went into the living room. Upon seeing Conan sitting Indian style on the sofa, she raised her eyebrows and took a seat in the armchair beside the sofa. "What are you doing here? I'm sure your Ran-neechan will appreciate your presence greatly, not to mention the last phone call you made to her was two weeks ago."

Conan watched Haibara as she sipped some hot chocolate from the mug. "Why are you in your pajamas? It's barely afternoon."

"I can wear whatever I want whenever I want wherever I want if I wanted to."

Conan rolled his eyes. "Relax. You're not on trial."

"Speaking of which," Haibara said as she rested the mug on her laps and rotated it in her hands. "Why didn't you speak up when the FBI took responsibility for my actions?"

Conan huffed. "Do you think I'm stupid? The reason the FBI is spreading word that one of its agents was responsible for the shooting is to direct the Organization's attention to them and away from us. Besides, we found out about it on the car. If I said anything, it would've exposed you to Ran and Sonoko."

"In other words, you're keeping me alive to protect the ones you love." Haibara stopped twirling the mug and looked up.

"Did you have to put it that way?"

"It's the truth, isn't it?"

Conan looked away with slight irritation and hopelessness. After a moment of silence, he remarked softly, "I don't know what the truth is anymore."

Lowering her gaze, Haibara brought the mug to her mouth and took another sip of the hot chocolate. She cringed - it was too sweet.

"I didn't come here to talk to you about the Organization," Conan said suddenly. "I came here to settle with you one thing and whatever else is related to it."

"It's not about the Organization?"

The detective shook his head and looked at Haibara. "But we might have to start off with it. I can't bear to see Ran cry again. So I'm going to disregard whatever dangers there are remaining - I have to take the antidote now. If you're going to oppose - "

"Actually, I deleted your name off the list yesterday."

"Deleted my name off the list? That means..." Conan's face lit up. "It doesn't matter anymore! You're the greatest, Haibara - always thinking ahead!"

"But - "

"That makes things much easier. Okay, I have a question for you."

"Listen to me!" Haibara raised her voice and looked at the shrunken detective.

Conan blinked.

"You can't take the antidote."

"What?"

"I'm tired. I don't want to continue the research any longer." Haibara squeezed the handle of the mug. "It's very difficult for me, do you understand? To work on something that brings back unhappy memories."

"What do you mean? The antidote is right here." Conan fumbled through his pockets and pulled out the black pill. "I didn't give it to anyone; I didn't lose it. See?"

The chemist refused to look. "It's a failure."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's another failure. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid it might not even measure up to the temporary antidote."

"It worked for at least two weeks!"

"And then you die a nasty death. I verified it with hakase regarding the missing rats. It was the first thing I did when I got home."

"But how?" Conan asked in a whisper, appalled, as the capsule slipped through his fingers and dropped onto the floor.

A self-mocking smile appeared on Haibara's face. "Why would it work when the theory it's based on is completely off?"

"I don't understand..."

"Apotoxin-4869 - do you know why it's given that name?"

"4869 - Sherlock."

"And apotoxin?"

"You never told me."

"Because of apoptosis. It's all a play on words. Apotoxin works via apoptosis."

"What's apoptosis?"

"Programmed cell death. It's a suicide mechanism in cells. The system is triggered within or without a cell to kill sick or mutated cells."

"Self-destruction..." Conan muttered.

"The Organization didn't fund the research for apotoxin-4869 to wipe out humanity. That never was, never is, and never will be the reason."

_"A mysterious drug that will revive the dead. Are you satisfied with my answer?"_

Recalling what Haibara had said before, Conan frowned and clenched his teeth. "Immortality - that's the ultimate goal of the Organization, isn't it? And it's not just the drug - "

Haibara interrupted. "The way the drug was intended to work was through genetic mutation directly on the living being. We wanted the drug to activate the telomerase within living human cells."

"What's a telomerase?"

"It's an enzyme that builds telomeres. Telomeres are at the tip of the chromosomes. They prevent the ends of the chromosomes from sticking together or sticking onto other chromosomes. But most importantly, with every cell division to produce new cells, the lengths of the telomeres shorten. When the telomeres are short enough, cells stop reproducing. They age and die."

"Then you're trying to make a drug that'll activate the telomerase so that the telomeres will grow with every cell division. Thus the cells will never stop reproducing, and hence, the body will never age and never die."

"Yes. But it's mutating the DNA, you see. In most normal human cells, the gene is suppressed. Although apotoxin-4869 may be doing what it's supposed to do, the cells begin sending signals to undergo apoptosis in most cases. And you die when enough cells are dead."

"Whereas ours don't."

"I do believe so, but I don't know why."

"Then why would juvenescence happen?"

"I suspect that certain lengths of the telomeres correspond to certain ages. And the reason I didn't shrink further after that second dose might be because apotoxin-4869 has reached its limits."

"Is an antidote possible, then? Because if the telomeres keep growing, there's a chance that we might remain in this state forever, isn't there?" Conan shivered at the thought.

"Yes, and yes. My antidote was a failure because I was treating the symptoms, not curing the disease. It's all very complicated. To make a successful antidote, I have to calculate the amount of enzymes subjective to your needs. However, something's not right, something's missing - the theory is not complete."

"Oh. Well, I guess it is still a lot of work even if you knew everything."

Haibara cast her eyes downward and bit her lips. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's... it's fine. I understand how hard it is for you."

Haibara shook her head. "I killed her. I killed the one who could've made a successful antidote for you. She did the calculations, even though I don't understand her motives for doing so."

Conan stared at Haibara with disbelief. "Did you know it at that time?"

The strawberry blond didn't respond but kept her eyes on the mug of hot chocolate.

Leaning back against the sofa, Conan looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "You really hate me, don't you?" There was a pause before he lied down heavily on the sofa, dropped his glasses on the floor, and covered his face with a cushion. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"I'm sorry. I'm..."

"I might as well tell Ran everything." Conan said - his words muffled because of the cushion. "Now that you've given up, I don't think I can hang on much longer either. It's exhausting to live in lies - I'm sure you know. All this time..." The room fell silent, until he heard a small sniff. Peeking out from under the cushion, he saw that Haibara was shaking and tears were plopping down. He sat up in alarm. "What are you crying for?"

"I'm sorry." Haibara choked and attempted to dry her eyes with her hand. She was pressing her eyes so hard that it seemed to be driving more tears out. "I'm sorry. I'm so selfish, so useless..."

Stunned, Conan watched the always-so-cool girl break down in front of him for the second time. The previous time he could understand, but this time, what was she crying for? For herself? For him? But then, did it really matter? It was heart-breaking, that's all. He got off the sofa, walked over to Haibara, and took the mug out of her hands. "You'll spill your hot chocolate."

_"You're crying again..._

_"Why are you always crying?_

_"No... I just remembered a woman like you who always pretended everything was okay and then hid in a dark corner to cry - a very foolish woman..."_

After placing the mug on the tea table, he took Haibara in his arms and held her close to him.

_I'm so selfish, so useless, too..._

Haibara cried even harder.

-x-

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Conan told Doctor Agasa, whom he was helping in the kitchen. He opened the door and looked up at the visitor. "Ran-neechan..."

"I brought your clothes, Conan-kun, and your schoolbag, too," Ran said as she handed the objects to Conan while balancing the umbrella on her shoulder.

"Oh, thank you. Do you want to come in?"

"No, it's alright. I have to go back to make dinner. See you."

"Bye," said Conan, a little bewildered by the sudden coming and going of Ran.

"Oh!" Ran spun around. "Come back soon, okay?"

Conan squeezed out a small smile and said, "Okay." Then he watched Ran walk out of his sight before closing the door. Entering the living room to put his stuff on the sofa, he smiled at Haibara who was sitting up on her bed, inspecting her blanket, and wondering how she got there. "You're awake! How are you feeling?"

"Is it morning or evening?"

"Evening. You slept through the afternoon."

"Oh." Haibara massaged her temples. "Hey, I thought about it - what's so funny?"

"You were sleeping. How could you think?"

Haibara glared at the grinning detective. "It doesn't matter. I've arrived at a conclusion that required thinking, regardless of how much time it took."

"Right. Go on."

"Has the truth finally dawned on you to make you so bloody cheerful?"

"You could say that. After all, I'm the one who's been thinking all afternoon. But I'm mostly glad to see you back to being yourself."

"Why, I'm glad, too. Thank you."

"I'm sorry. What were you going to say?"

Haibara paused on purpose before saying, "If I could get my hands on the APTX-4869 research files, I could make you an antidote."

"I thought you gave up."

"I did," Haibara said in a soft voice. "But I realized that it was more important to see you happy than it was to escape and keep myself falsely content."

"Silly. Do I look like someone who'd sacrifice other people's happiness to gain my own? I called Ran this afternoon and told her something unexpected turned up in the case. She wasn't too happy, but I don't want to push you. It's not worth it," Conan said as he remembered about his bag and clothes and walked over to place them on the sofa.

"You're the stupid one. If I don't make the antidote, she'll be unhappy, you'll be unhappy, and I'll be unhappy. But if I make the antidote, and if it actually works, then she'll be happy, you'll be happy, and I'll be happy, too."

_If it actually works..._

"You will?" Conan asked and looked at Haibara.

"Why won't I?"

"Oh, no, nothing."

"So did you get in touch with the FBI? Do they have a computer from that mansion?"

"I haven't told you yet, have I?"

"Haven't told me what?"

"The FBI is taking over everything from now on. I'm not to have any contacts with them unless an emergency occurs. I am to stop investigating."

Haibara widened her eyes. "And you're actually following their orders?"

"Why does that the tone of yours annoy me so much?"

"Your admirable image in my head has been erased. How very unfortunate."

"Hey! I'm complying only because I agree that it'd do us the best to remain in the dark for a while, not because I've turned into some wimp!"

"Believe what you want to believe, tough guy; there is only one truth."

"And the same goes to you! But fooling around aside, there is a problem even if we could get a computer from them. The systems of all the computers in that mansion crashed."

Haibara nodded. "I'm not surprised. What about interrogating a member from the Organization? Surely, with that attacking force, the FBI must have captured at least one person."

"There comes another problem. The mansion wasn't the base, was it? It was just a laboratory. The FBI came a little too late. All of the people they've arrested know near to nothing about the Organization. They are just ignorant lab assistants. Members such as Doctor Araide, Gin, and Vermouth, they've all left - they knew something was wrong."

"Okay. To sum up, it's a dead end, for us and for the FBI."

"Only for a while."

"Only for a while..."

"Don't sound so discouraging." Conan tucked his hands into his pockets and sat down on the armrest of the sofa. "I want to ask you something."

"Is this the same question as the one you were going to ask this afternoon or is this a different one?"

"Different. But why does it matter?"

Haibara shrugged.

"Why didn't you recognize the mansion when we got there?"

Haibara looked at Conan and explained, "There used to be no mansions. It was a flat, desolate hilltop."

"But to build something like a mini-Versailles in less than a year's time?"

"Don't ask me. I'm not an architect."

"Well, then - "

"Who was the moron who said that he was to stop investigating?"

Conan's mouth hung open from being interrupted in the middle. He closed it and felt his urge to scream and kill rising.

Haibara smirked. "I love you, too," she said with sarcasm.

"Dinner!" Doctor Agasa announced.

-x-

(TBC)


	13. When the Sun Sets 44 Times

**CH 13 - When the Sun Sets Forty-Four Times**

-x-

She was sitting on a stool she'd taken from the house. After inspecting the dark sky and concluding that the clouds wouldn't be clearing anytime soon, she stretched her legs, wiggled her toes, and frowned at the wet slippers. Her feet were cold. What was it that brought her out into the backyard again? _The stopping of the day-long rain and the freshness of the air afterwards_, she thought as she brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and shivered from the cool breeze passing through the thin fabric of her pajamas. _And something else._

Gazing up at the night sky again, she heard the backdoor of the house open and close followed by the sound of feet walking across the lawn. The moon and stars weren't visible, partly relieving and partly disappointing to her. There was supposed to be a lunar eclipse that night. She'd always wanted to observe, first-hand, the copper-red moon during a total eclipse. Just when she remembered to be present for the astronomical event, the weather wouldn't cooperate.

"The melancholic color of the sun during sunset and the eerie color of the moon during total eclipse," she said to herself as much as she did to the person coming up to her. "Both are types of red. It's a shame I won't get a chance to view the latter."

"That's a stupid thing to say," Conan said, startling Haibara when he wrapped a shawl around her shoulders. "Lunar eclipses are common, relatively speaking. I'm sure you'll be able to see it more than once in your lifetime."

Smiling sadly, Haibara knew Conan didn't understand what she'd meant. "When I was in America, I read a book," she said as Conan stepped forward to stand beside her. "The protagonist watched the sun set on another planet forty-four times this one day. I wish I could do that, too."

Taking a deep breath and looking up at the sky, Conan said in hopes of lifting the heavy atmosphere, "People watch sunsets, too, when they're happy. It's a beauty of Nature. And red often represents love... You know what? You should consider changing your name from Ai (sorrow) to Ai (love)." He smiled at Haibara.

"I have no reason to."

"You have all the reasons to. Just now, at dinner, even though you sounded as if you were annoyed at the professor, your eyes - and the professor's - showed much love. And you also have friends - the love of friends. The time has changed, Haibara."

_Only the love of... friends?_ Haibara thought wearily but scoffed immediately at it. Don't ask for too much, she could almost hear. "What's up with you?" she asked. "Coming here all of the sudden to request a change in my already fake name."

"I should be the one asking 'what's up with you?' You were fine during dinner, now you look so sad. What's wrong?"

"I'm not sad," Haibara replied with indignation. "It must be the lighting. Or the lack of."

"That's what they all say, isn't it? 'I'm not sad' when they're really sad and upset. It's like people always say 'I'm okay' when they're not okay at all."

"Then what should they say if they're truly content and all right?"

"The same, I suppose." The detective shrugged while Haibara resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "But the tones would be different. Maybe even the word choices. In any case, my intuition is telling me you're not happy right now."

"Bingo. You're irritating me with your nonsensical talk."

"No, I didn't mean that!"

Haibara sighed. "So you trust your intuition more than you trust my words. But who am I to blame? Words are just words, the source of all misunderstandings. That's one tragic characteristic of human beings."

Conan placed his hands behind his head and strained his eyes trying to make out the clouds. "But sometimes, we have to use words to convey ourselves - it's the only way. And then we just have to trust the speaker. There were so many cases that I solved in which the murder was committed because certain words weren't said." His voice dropped. "But other words were uttered, other words that..."

"Once people die, they cannot be revived. So the criminals live the rest of their lives in immense regret and sorrow after finding out the truths. Is that what you want to say?" Haibara looked at the detective. "It's not just me, everyone should have 'Ai' (sorrow) in their names - that word overshadows the entire society, whether you like it or not." She looked away and pulled the shawl tighter around her shoulders. "Blood is red, too. Bright red that turns dark once it's dried."

"Doesn't this society have Ai (love) anymore?" Conan asked quietly. "I think there's more love than sorrow among us, otherwise we wouldn't be moving forward as humanity. We'd be all drowning in our own sorrows. Dying."

_Moving forward... we're not_, Haibara thought. But she didn't want to continue the pointless argument anymore. "Don't you want to sit down?" she asked. "There should be another stool - "

"No, I'm fine. Do you want to eat some fruits? The professor was preparing some when I came out."

Haibara nodded, and Conan turned to head back to the house.

_Stupid Sherlock wannabe, if one is happy, one only watches sunset once, not forty-four times_, Haibara thought with a small smile and watched the clouds slowly clear away from the sky. But that nature was beautiful, Haibara agreed. She remembered peering out of the airplane window and awing at the coherence of the world. Separated by a layer of puffy clouds, the blue of the sky above and the blue of the ocean below were the same, and both extended toward blackness. Without the lands and the ships, one would hardly be able to tell one apart from the other. So if the plane flew upside-down, aside the "anti-gravity" phenomenon, one wouldn't know. And it wasn't surprising to know how people of ancient times thought Earth to be flat: it really extended out in all directions toward infinity. The ships were so tiny - they looked as if they were frozen in time. _We are so small, so insignificant..._

"Is this okay?" Conan asked, holding out an apple as he set down a stool beside Haibara and sat down.

Taking the apple in her hand and rotating it in her hand, Haibara smirked and remarked, "Apples are also red."

Conan snorted. "Yes, and they come in yellow and green as well."

"It's very sweet," Haibara said after taking a bite, not noticing Conan's short smile and blush.

-x-

After Haibara finished the apple, the two of them moved to the porch at the back of the house where the wind was milder. Haibara also took the chance to change into a dry pair of slippers.

"You should've changed earlier," Conan said, displeased, as Haibara slipped her feet into the dry pair. "It's not good to have kept your feet cold."

"Some good it'll do by telling me that now," Haibara retorted and sat down on the stool.

Conan sat down as well, letting a moment of silence pass between them before he spoke again. "There is something that I must verify, because I'll be very afraid if I don't."

Haibara raised her eyebrows. "And what might that be?"

"You said that the drug your parents worked on was to revive the dead. And then you said that I didn't have to worry because the drug you worked on was something that only girls needed, like play dolls. You worked on APTX-4869. Is it also the drug that your parents worked on?"

"I told you before: I took over their research."

"Then why would the task of the drug change?"

"Change?"

"This afternoon, I said, without thinking, that the Organization's ultimate goal is immortality, because it was what Choi told me in the lab. If you think carefully, reviving the dead isn't exactly the same as granting immortality. It's similar, but it's not the same. APTX-4869... Something that only girls need and something that is also related to immortality, I'm thinking of Mermaid Island - girls wanting to preserve their youth and beauty." Conan narrowed his eyes. "I want to know how a drug that was supposed to revive the dead became a drug that does what APTX-4869 is doing to us."

"What do you want me to say?"

Conan hesitated before answering, "That there is a reason for the change, that you didn't make it up to confuse me."

Haibara smiled. "You have my word."

Relief swept across Conan's face. "May I know the reason?"

This time, it was Haibara who hesitated before replying quietly, "We'll be punished if we tamper with time... That is all."

"I see."

"Are you so concerned with the validity of my words?" Haibara's tone became cynical as she continued; her words merely intended as a joke. "You wouldn't just so happen to be afraid that I'd lie, would you? Treating me like a suspect."

"In the beginning," Conan started slowly, "I was very wary of you. But later on, I began to trust you. Remember that time when you said you were calm because I was going through the same thing as you were? Because I'd understand? I say the same, too, in my mind. Even so, I was still cautious because of who I am."

"I know," she said while Conan looked up at her in surprise. "Being a detective is the same as being a scientist. We have to be skeptical in order to be able to pick the best explanation of the truth. We have to question, analyze, and then discover." She paused. "There is something I don't understand, however. Why are you so concerned... about me? Is it because of the antidote?"

Conan gazed at the lawn, looking at somewhere very far away. "That time, when I thought of the possibility that you created Galatea to kill... I was angry, but I was scared as well. The same thing happened when Choi died. And then you cried. It dawned upon me afterwards. I wasn't just afraid that I might have to denounce you guilty of some crime one day, but I was afraid that you'd vanish. This afternoon, I thought about what would've happened if Cathy killed you instead? I probably would've lost all rationality. At that time when she pointed the gun at us, my mind went blank, completely blank. It's so strange. I thought of a lot of things this afternoon, trying to understand what has been going on and why. I... really, really like you, Haibara - Ai. Just like this, unconsciously, I've fallen in love with you. It's so strange. Why is this happening?"

"Do you hate loving me?"

"No, I don't. It's just that I always thought I liked Ran. A crush is different, I guess. One only sees well with the heart..."

"You read that book, too?" Haibara asked. Conan only smiled. "You'll regret it," the strawberry blonde continued. "By falling in love with me."

"I'm not a kid. I know what I'm doing, and I take full responsibility for my actions." Conan stood up. "Let's go inside. It's getting chilly, and you'll catch a cold. The sky won't be clear enough in time for the eclipse anyway."

"Hey," Haibara called out, stopping Conan, blushing. "Don't treat me like a flower. Just because I love you too doesn't mean you can treat me like a flower."

It took a moment before Conan grasped the meaning of Haibara's words. He replied with a smile, also receiving one in response, "I won't."

-x-

**CH 13.5 - Against Time**

"Welcome, detective."

Conan swirled around and narrowed his eyes when he saw Cathy shutting and locking the lab door. He'd just entered the room; he didn't notice her presence until then. She was smiling, as if she was truly greeting him with benevolence. For once, her outfit was normal - a maroon turtleneck (but Conan wasn't too sure of the color because of the dim lights), jeans, and a lab coat on the outside.

"How are you?"

Conan took a deep breath to calm down and replied, "Fantastic."

"Your luck has run out when you bumped into me. I'm one of the few who wants your life."

"One of the few?"

"Oh, don't you know? Among the people who know, Vermouth and the boss put forth a lot of effort to defend your life, whereas Gin and I would care less."

"What?"

Cathy pulled out a gun from one of the big lab coat pockets and examined it. "Do you like this kind of toy?" She looked at Conan. "Do you believe in Heaven? What? Did I say something funny?"

Conan continued smirking. "Elixir for Long Life. That is what the wine is often labeled, the wine that is your codename - Chartreuse. Yet you're taking lives."

Cathy beamed. "You figured out the connection between the wine and the elixir! Not bad. But the world is very unfair, I'm afraid. No matter how smart you are and how much you impress me, I still have to end your life."

"Yes, unfair. One day, that title of yours will be nothing but words uttered in vain."

"Oh? You don't believe that I'll find a way to immortality?"

"Humans have been searching for immortality for thousands of years, but no one has found it yet. Why would you?"

"It's very unkind of you to say that. I take insults very personally. Besides, I'm almost there. Just look around you. This is one of the laboratories that I run."

Conan stared at Cathy. "Why is it so dark in here?"

"Because it's very suitable for its dark history!"

"Dark history?"

"There is a rumor about this laboratory," Cathy explained as she picked up a plastic water bottle with liquid in it, opened a glass bottle labeled "potassium," used a pair of tweezers to obtain a piece of the metal, and dropped it into the water bottle. "Once upon a time, a mad scientist heard the Devil's whisper, performed experiments against time, and tainted this laboratory with its - " A loud boom came from the water bottle and startled both Conan and Cathy, even though they both expected it to happen. "With its eerie spook!" Cathy threw the water bottle into the trash and made a face. "Isn't it scary?"

"Yes. Very," Conan agreed with sarcasm, wanting to leave the lab. However, he realized that it was easy to talk to Cathy and thus decided against leaving this soon. "So what happened?"

"You don't want to know. You don't even want to know who it was. The truth will scare you into a vegetable! I'm serious!" Cathy raised her voice and added emphasis on her last words when she caught sight of Conan's this-girl-needs-help-fast expression.

"What about you? Why aren't you paralyzed?"

"Because I don't know the truth either." Cathy crouched down so her eyes were level with Conan's and held her cheeks. "Oh, but it's just a rumor. It might not have happened at all. I just think it adds mystic to the laboratory. Makes it more exciting to work in here. Just like my apartment, which is now haunted by my brother's ghost - it provides something substantial to the space and makes it more interesting to reside in."

"Don't tell me that's why you killed your brother."

"So what if it is? Eh?" A puzzled expression replaced Cathy's smiling face for a second. "Did I say I killed him?" She stood up with a sigh and placed her hands on her waist. "Oh, I hate detectives like you. I'm so gullible. But you're wrong. I needed to find you and Sherry, and I couldn't think of any other way to lure you out. It's no big deal, though. I can revive my brother if I wanted to. Oh wait, he was cremated. That's not good."

"Why did you need to find us?"

"I want the antidote! But I didn't know for sure which one of you would be carrying it. At first I thought Galatea was the antidote, but it wasn't. Such a frustrating feeling, it was, when I discovered it wasn't the antidote. In fact, you'd be safer if it was. Oh well, too bad."

Conan raised his eyebrow and looked at Cathy, not understanding. "Why do you need the antidote?"

"That's none of your business. So do you have the antidote, or is it with Sherry?"

Conan paused and apologized. "Neither of us have it."

Cathy frowned. "That's a lie. I guess I'll have to find out by force, then."

"Wait!" Conan shouted and felt his pocket. "I think she put it in my pocket," he said with a sheepish grin and pressed a button on his belt.

Cathy looked as if she'd just received a great gift. "Give it to me!" Then she noticed. "Is that a soccer ball?"

Conan smirked at Cathy's blank expression and kicked the inflatable soccer ball that knocked the gun out of Cathy's hand and smashed into some glassware on the table. Swearing something in French, Cathy reached inside her lab coat, but Conan was faster with his stun-gun watch. What Conan failed to notice, as he sighed in relief and headed out the lab to find Haibara, was that Cathy had pulled out a pocket knife and stabbed it into her leg as she slid to the floor.

-x-

"38.7 degrees," Doctor Agasa read off the thermometer and held out a sweater. "It's not a high fever."

"I still think you should stay at home," Conan said with his hands in his pockets and looked at Haibara. "Next time, don't go outdoors at night without wearing a jacket. Winter is coming."

"I feel fine. I can go to school," Haibara said and got off the bed, taking the sweater out of Doctor Agasa's hands and putting it on. "There's nothing to do staying at home anyway."

"Hey wait, Ai," Conan called out, stopping Haibara, who was heading to the bathroom. "The lab... Uh, I think the light for the lab downstairs is broken and it's really dark to go inside, right, professor?"

"Huh?"

"So." Ignoring Doctor Agasa's confused expression, Conan looked at Doctor Agasa and said with a smile, "Fix it soon, professor." He turned to Haibara. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Haibara blinked. "Anything is fine."

"Okay. Come on, professor, let's go make breakfast."

The strawberry blonde watched the detective drag Doctor Agasa into the kitchen before she walked into the bathroom, her thoughts temporarily drifting to a time in the past. After washing her face, she stared into the mirror and frowned. She didn't like the mirror.

"Actually, the mirror is still reflecting the truth."

Haibara looked to the door where Conan was leaning against the doorpost with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"It just might not be reflecting the truth you want to see because you're hiding the truth

from it." Conan entered the bathroom and stood beside Haibara, studying his image. "If you smile at it, it'll smile back. If you scowl at it, it'll scowl back. If you make a face at it, it'll make the same face back. But you haven't changed." He smiled at Haibara through the mirror. "You look very pretty when you smile, do you know?" He patted Haibara's shoulder and said before walking out the door, "Breakfast is ready."

Again, Haibara looked into the mirror. _If you make a face at it, it'll make the same face back. _Haibara stuck out her tongue at the mirror, turned off the light, and left the bathroom with a smile on her face. "Moron."

But life is like a mirror.

-x-

(TBC)


	14. They Found Out (Part 1)

**CH 14 - They Found Out (Part 1)**

-x-

Yes, it was another boring day. Heck, it would always be a boring day if he were forbidden to do what he lived on - investigating on some random case and bringing some unfortunate criminal to justice.

He really needed to get a new life.

Conan sighed, not inaudibly, and glanced backwards at the strawberry blonde. No one took notice of his dejected mood, if it could be called "dejected" at all, for the three of them were flooding Ai with questions such as how was her cold and how was the trip.

Okay, fine. Screw the new life he was supposed to get. He was quite content with the one he had at present. For once, they were pestering her and not him. What a pleasant feeling. Except for the fact that a voice in his head was warning him that Ai would find some way to make him responsible for explaining this and answering that.

However, his inward smirk grew wider when he heard the three of them asking why Haibara-san looked so happy today. The subject concerned him not in the least bit. Well, maybe it did, a little, and Conan blushed at this thought.

Shaking his head to clear his mind, the detective shot another glance at the ex-member of the Black Organization and felt slightly annoyed. He wasn't annoyed at her voice, or her looks, or the fact that she was talking to Mitsuhiko (with a smile, if that!), but annoyed because she wasn't helping him.

Though, it depended on the time, really. If he asked her at a good time, she'd drop a hint or two on the Organization. If not, she'd pinch his cheek and tell him to watch his curiosity. But it was difficult to distinguish between the good and the bad times.

It felt as if he was walking into a glass wall - he could see all the information beyond the transparent wall, but he couldn't reach out to grasp hold of it. Only on occasions did someone remove the wall for him for a short while before she decided to kick him out again.

_So far_, Conan thought as he recollected and organized the information he'd gathered one way or another, _I know several people associated with the Organization, and among these, the boss. I know the Organization is interested in weird drugs and computer programs. And the closest I know about its goals is that it's seeking immortality and trying to revive the dead. But what do computer programs have anything to do with this? Not to mention the computer program abandoned in consideration for the whole of humanity..._

Catherine Choi's worries about reviving her brother jumped into his mind as Conan continued pondering. _Who are they trying to revive, anyway? Wouldn't the body be gone already? Or are they making preparations for themselves, in case they died of accidents? Still, there're a lot of problems. Do they just not realize the problems or are they planning something else? And the laboratory myth and the punishment for going against the stream of time, what are they? Speaking of which, Ai and I definitely reversed time, in a sense. But I don't see anything close to being a punishment..._

Conan stopped his train of thoughts to reconsider his previous statement. Actually, there are inconveniences to this body... He felt his face becoming hotter as he tried to picture himself as Shinichi along with a grown-up Haibara Ai -

"Conan-kun!"

"What!" Conan yelled, upset for being interrupted in the middle of his thoughts but regretted immediately when he saw Ayumi's startled expression. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. What did you call me for?"

"We wanted you to tell us about the camping trip this weekend," Ayumi said.

"You know the details, don't you?" Mitsuhiko asked.

At first, Conan was baffled. After listening to the chatter among the three kids about the camping trip, he deadpanned and turned to Ai, who returned an innocent look.

Darn. He had to explain everything and make up an excuse on the spot. Again.

While he was thinking of a response to this camping trip that popped out of nowhere, he wondered if Ai had said anything about their relationship. But judging from the looks on Ayumi's and Mitsuhiko's faces, she hadn't. He wasn't quite sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing to not tell them. Yet. Not that he cared. He was more concerned with Ran and her possible reactions.

First things first, though. They weren't looking too patient.

"I don't know anything about the camping trip. Why don't you ask the professor today after school?"

Besides, where did Ai come up with the camping trip idea to pass off as her reason to be happy today?

Wait a minute.

There was this time, Conan recalled, when he used the camping trip idea as an invitation to prevent Ai from walking right up to the gates of Hell.

Oh.

"You liar!" Genta shouted. "We know you know!"

"Haibara-san said that you specialize in ditching people and responsibilities!" _And some other big words she said that I can't remember_, Mitsuhiko said in his mind.

Conan blinked before shouting back, "Do you even know what you're talking about, Mitsuhiko?"

This time, Mitsuhiko blinked. "Well, Haibara-san said that you'd know what I'd be talking about. Besides, you do run off on your own every time the Detective Boys are on a case!"

_You mean, attempt to_, Conan added in his mind before he glared at Ai, who continued acting as if all these had absolutely nothing to do with her.

"We're going to be late for class!" Conan tapped his watch and announced, alarming the three kids. He slowed down to walk shoulder-to-shoulder with Ai and said through his teeth, "You're not adorable at all."

"Who wants to be adorable?"

"Girls are supposed to be adorable and - "

"That's stereotyping. I happen to favor individualism. Not commonality."

"That's dangerous to the society. I think I should stay away from you," Conan said with playfulness and leaned away from Ai. "What were you thinking when you told them to say those things?"

"I think it's good to keep your ego in check once in a while."

"And what did any of those have anything to do with my ego?"

Ai shrugged. "I just love you too much, I guess."

Conan flushed.

"I didn't mean it literally," Ai added.

Conan deadpanned, the color of his cheeks returning to normal instantly. "Things haven't changed after all," he muttered under his breath.

"Say that again?"

"Nothing, nothing! Nothing at all!" Conan laughed nervously.

Ai gave him a look that said "Yes, I believe you." But she decided not to press any further.

They walked in silence until they reached the school gate when Ai said in a low voice, "You're foolish. Are you positive that you won't regret this?"

"Regret what?"

"Regret choosing me over her. She's an angel while I'm... And you're - "

"Then why did you admit that you like me?"

Ai couldn't answer.

Indeed. Why?

"So stop worrying," Conan said with a smile. "It's my choice. And yours. If you keep doubting, it'll only upset you and irritate me. Understand?"

"But the people around you will hate you when they know about this."

"Now that's pure nonsense. They may be surprised at first, but they won't hate me. Or you. Why would anyone care about a guy's personal love life anyway?"

"Hey, you two!" Ayumi called out from the stairs. "Hurry up!"

-x-

Ran sighed and continued to stare out the window of her classroom. Her day hadn't been boring, just long.

"Hello?" Sonoko waved her hand in front of Ran's face to get the latter's attention and sat down in the empty seat before Ran's desk. "Are you feeling okay? You seem... distracted, today. You couldn't even concentrate in class, and that's rare. Is it because of what happened over the weekend?"

"Why?" Ran stated absently, rested her elbows on her desk, and held her cheeks with her hands, still gazing outside the window. "Why am I always worrying so much about the men around me? Dad, Shinichi, and now Conan-kun, too. Do you also worry this much, Sonoko?"

"Only a little for Makoto, sometimes." Sonoko paused. "But, Ran, you are too loyal and thus always taken advantage of. I swear if you were willing to play around a little, that stupid detective would rush back to declare his undying love to you and never leave again!"

"That's not going to happen," Ran said with a sheepish grin, perhaps applying her reply to both halves of her best friend's conditional statement.

"You don't even really have to do anything, just enough to make that jerk jealous. And you had such a good chance last Wednesday," Sonoko said, referring to the dinner that she'd hosted a couple days before the exhibition. "Yet neither you nor Doctor Araide wanted to cooperate! The two of you exasperate me!"

"I don't like Doctor Araide that way. And I don't think he likes me that way either. I thought we were clear on this!"

"I'm well-aware! I'm just trying to help you, Ran. You and Shinichi make the best couple ever, and all that's missing is one phrase! One!"

"What phrase?"

Sonoko could've smacked her forehead right there. She leaned forward and asked, "You like Shinichi a lot, don't you?"

Ran blushed, stammering to find a response. "But... he might not think of me that way."

"What the heck are you talking about? He likes you. Anyone can tell!"

"Then why doesn't he say anything?" Ran shouted, blushing even more.

"Because he's dense! All he ever thinks about is Sherlock Holmes. Man, I wouldn't be surprised if he was in love with that Holmes."

"But it's his dream to become the Modern Day Holmes."

"Becoming Modern Day Holmes doesn't mean he has to become Holmes!" Sonoko jumped out of the seat and pressed her hands on Ran's desk, bending down to whisper to Ran. "I suppose there'd be no way for that Holmes freak to realize anything in the near future. So." Sonoko's voice turned solemn. "Ran, since you refuse to make him jealous, you'll just have to break the tradition and be open to him first!"

Ran eyed her best friend with suspicion. "What do you mean?"

"You'll have to say it to him first! And I'll bet he'll feel ashamed for being shyer than a girl and say it to you, too! He'll even give up being this Modern Day Holmes to stay with you forever!" Sonoko gazed out the window with a dreamy expression on her face. "Oh, the perfect marriage. I can see it already."

"Stop being ridiculous, Sonoko. Chances are he's probably fallen in love with a girl who's much better than what I'll ever be."

"I'll see if he dares!" Sonoko showed her fist to Ran. "There're ways that a lady can make a man tremble even without karate skills! He's yours, Ran. Rest assured!"

"That's not what I meant... We shouldn't force someone into doing something he doesn't want."

"You won't know until you find out." Sonoko said and placed her hand on Ran's shoulder as if she was about to announce something of great importance. "So in regards to your personal happiness, you mustn't hesitate any longer."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, I don't even know when I'll hear from him again."

Sonoko's eyes widened in surprise. "Didn't you tell me that he was coming back some time this week?"

"Yeah..." Ran looked down with disappointment. "He called yesterday, saying that something unexpected turned up. He can't come back yet."

Sonoko frowned. "What case is he investigating anyway? He's been gone for almost a year! It was never like this before. Is it a big and complicated case? Or is he just becoming more stupid?"

"Yes. I don't know! He never speaks much about it. Sometimes, I even think he's finding excuses to avoid me."

Sonoko cast a sympathetic look at her best friend. Then, suddenly reminded of something, she snapped her fingers and asked, "Did you knock anything out of the kid about the weird happenings over the weekend?"

"You mean Conan-kun?" Ran's expression became more crestfallen. "Ever since we returned, he's been staying at the professor's house. I think he's avoiding me, too."

"This kid," Sonoko said as she sank back into the seat. "This Edogawa Conan is very strange. And the red-haired little girl as well."

"Ai-chan?"

"Yeah. You know her better than I do. What do you think of her?"

"Um... She seems very distant. I've hardly seen her smile. But I heard that she's very smart and mature, unlike most of the first-graders. Overall, I think she's kind of like Conan-kun but less cheerful. Though, I don't know her well enough to judge anything."

Sonoko tapped her chin. "Hmm... Like Conan-kun... As much as I hate to admit it, that kid does know a lot of weird things. Maybe the people after them want their kids to be as smart as them? You know, like a magic formula on how to become a child prodigy?"

"I don't think there's any formula that can turn people into geniuses. It's more... in the genes. And hard work."

"The formula in their genes! That must be it! They're collecting child prodigies to map their DNA so they can find the smart gene!"

Ran shook her head with a smile. "We aren't even done with mapping one. It'll take even longer to map several. Not to mention the time it'll take to make the comparisons."

Sonoko gasped. "Then they're aliens! With advanced extraterrestrial technology!"

Ran laughed. "What have you been watching lately, Sonoko? Documentaries on UFOs? Wow, your thinking is as bad as mine."

"What's yours?" Sonoko asked with deep interest.

Ran told her. She told Sonoko her theory explaining the existence of Edogawa Conan. "But I'm wrong," she said at the end. "I've been proven wrong so many times. There are coincidences."

It took a while for Sonoko to absorb the information. And when she did, she said, "We're dealing with Shinichi here. He can prove anything right and anything wrong if he wanted to."

Ran gestured "no" with her hand. "Shinichi may be smart, but he's not God. He won't be able to prove that something is wrong if it's right. And think about it, you shrink if you eat a strange pill? That's as funky as saying aliens are attacking us. This isn't science fiction."

Sonoko looked unconvinced. "It makes sense, though. Everything fits together."

"Except that you shrink."

"There are coincidences," Sonoko pointed out.

"That... that's not a 'coincidence'! And how are you going to explain Ai-chan if it's true? She's not a detective." Ran's smile dropped. "Is she?"

"Doesn't she hang out with this group of kids who call themselves the Detective something?"

"That's only children's play. Furthermore, Ai-chan joined a long time after the Detective Boys were formed, and I'm sure it's because she's friends with those children. And Sonoko, queen of deduction, if Shinichi and Ai-chan really shrunk, how were they capable of proving the correct theory wrong? In science, if one proves that a theory holds true doesn't mean the theory is correct, but if one proves that a theory is wrong, the theory has to be discarded or readjusted. So." Ran flashed a smile challenging her best friend. "Queen of deduction, how did they do it?"

Sonoko shivered. "Alien magic..."

"Drop the alien thought, Sonoko!" Ran shouted but froze when the words tumbled out. Magic... "Hey, Sonoko," Ran whispered. "Aren't there magic tricks that seem as if only one person is involved when there're actually multiple?"

"And you're saying?"

"I can't put it into words exactly because I'm really confused right now. There're still things that don't make sense. But somehow, if two people know about the true situation, it seems very possible for a correct theory to be proven wrong. Just like some magic tricks appear to violate the laws of Nature. It's not actually... So wait, Ai-chan really is a detective? But Shinichi never mentioned such a person."

Sonoko let out a cry. "If she's a detective never mentioned, then... the state of affairs is very bad, Ran!"

Ran freaked out. But she tried to stay calm. "We don't know for sure, Sonoko. We shouldn't make silly assumptions, whatever they are. We don't know whether or not Shinichi thinks of me more than a childhood friend, we don't know whether or not Ai-chan is a detective or anything more than that, we don't even know whether or not we just wasted some minutes speculating on something that's complete, utter nonsense!"

"But what are you going to do? What are you going to do when you see Shinichi? Or that brat, even!"

"How should I know? Even if it's true, even if..." Ran finally calmed down and looked at her best friend, trying extremely hard to cheer up. "There has to be some reason that I'm sure is... reasonable for not telling us the truth. Regardless, let's stop thinking about this right now, okay? If we are wrong, we're going to be in a very awkward position."

"And if we're right?"

After considering this possibility for a moment, Ran replied with a smile, "It's not like Shinichi and I were anything more than childhood friends. If he really... I'll be happy for him if he's really serious about a girl instead of drooling over all those letters from his fans. Shinichi's finally grown up."

Sonoko sniffed for the sake of dramatic measures, but it wasn't that she didn't feel sad for her best friend. She was feeling terrible, actually. "You'll be taken advantage of for the rest of your life if you continue to be this kind, Ran!"

Ran smiled. "I don't think it's all that bad, do you? And a detective girlfriend is good for our Modern Day Holmes. They can investigate together, look out for each other. And the best part? Shinichi doesn't have to leave her behind all the time. Waiting is hard. And the time that passes by - it's cruel."

_Yes_, Ran thought, _it's for the best, even though it's upsetting and unfair. After all, when one loves another, it's most important for the other to be happy. The most important..._

-x-

"Hmm... I keep thinking there's something strange going on between Conan-kun and Ai-chan today..."

Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta were walking in their own little group a few feet behind Conan and Ai and observing the two people in front of them.

One was walking with her hands behind her back and looking into the shops she was passing by; the other had his hands in his pockets and glanced from the road to the pavement to Ai and to the three behind him. The thoughtful glance at the three shifted away when he spoke to Ai in a soft voice.

Genta frowned. "I don't see anything strange. Maybe it's because we're looking at their backs."

Mitsuhiko shook his head. "I definitely sense something strange. For example, Conan-kun didn't argue with Haibara-san today, but that is somewhat his hobby."

Ayumi agreed.

"What are you talking about? They fought at least five times today." Genta held out his hand to count. "One this morning about something being adorable, one about stealing pencils, one about eating apples, one about the imm... the immortal - "

"The immorality of tripping someone in the hallway," Mitsuhiko and Ayumi helped Genta complete the sentence together, both of them sounding extremely grudging.

"Yes, Genta-kun," Mitsuhiko continued. "But - "

"I'm not done yet! One more about this deep subject that I had no clue what they were talking about, and one about soccer, one about... Hey, isn't that more than five?" Genta stared at his other hand that he'd just used to help in counting.

"Even so, there's still something strange," Ayumi said.

"Instead of argument for argument's sake, they seemed to be arguing solely to make the other happy today."

"Really? I don't think they sounded any different from any other day. Except that, at times, Conan-kun sounded grumpier than usual, as if he was frustrated at something."

Ayumi thought hard. "Maybe it's Ai-chan's birthday today and he doesn't know what to get her."

"Or it's his birthday and yet no one knows about it," Mitsuhiko suggested.

"Or maybe it's because they're having eel for dinner."

Mitsuhiko glared at Genta.

"What?"

"Ai-chan! Conan-kun!" Ayumi called out, stopping the two in front. She ran up to them and asked, "Ai-chan, is it your birthday today?"

Taken aback by the sudden question, Ai stared wide-eyed at Ayumi and couldn't respond.

"It's your birthday today?" Conan yelled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Ai was still disorientated. "N-no, it isn't."

"Really?"

"Really."

Conan suddenly realized. "When is your birthday anyway?"

"Then is it your birthday, Conan-kun?" Ayumi asked, looking at Conan.

"Huh? What? Me? No. Why?"

"Because you two are acting very strange today," Mitsuhiko said as he and Genta joined Ayumi.

Conan and Ai glanced at each other before looking back at the three children.

A long silence passed between the five of them as they stared at each other.

"Might be my cold," Ai offered a weak explanation.

"Forget it, Ai."

The three children blinked. Ai?

Mitsuhiko and Genta exchanged a look.

Conan continued in a low voice, "It's not like we're doing anything ugly. Why should we hide?"

Throwing a concerned look at the three children, Ai frowned. But an understanding smile soon replaced her grim expression.

"Can we call you by your first-name, too?" Mitsuhiko and Genta asked with big smiles on their faces.

Ai was as stunned as she was a few minutes ago when Ayumi asked about her birthday.

"You can't!" Conan yelled, startling all four of the people around him. He grabbed Ai's arm and announced into the three children's faces, "Because Haibara Ai is my girlfriend!"

Three mouths fell open and Ai looked with dismal at Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta as Conan dragged her away from them.

"Ai-chan is Conan-kun's - "

"Girlfriend?"

"Oh! Like Inspector Takagi and Inspector Satou!" Genta exclaimed. "How romantic!"

"Romantic nothing!" Ayumi and Mitsuhiko yelled.

"I guess." Genta scratched his head. "Conan-kun isn't a very romantic person."

Tears formed in Ayumi's eyes while she extended her arm as if trying to stop Conan and Ai. "You can't. You can't love Conan-kun..."

"I'll bet Conan-kun forced Haibara-san into everything," Mitsuhiko said, looking somber, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I remember Haibara-san told me that things weren't as romantic as I thought it'd be."

Genta shook his fist. "If Conan-kun dares to touch Haibara-san, I'll beat him up!"

Meanwhile.

"I'm not your girlfriend!"

"You're not? Don't you like me anymore?"

"Liking you and being your girlfriend are two entirely different subjects, you moron!"

"Really."

"You never asked! Don't make decisions on your own when it concerns the opinions of two living beings."

Conan stopped and turned to look at Ai. He smiled. "Is that what you're upset about? Well, that's easy to fix. Ai, would you - "

"I'm upset that you blurted out everything in front of them in such a manner back there. Even though I understand how irritated you feel when it seems as if it's shameful to acknowledge that, they're only children."

"What should I have said then since 'they're only children'? Do you seriously want them to cling onto the false hope that she's possible with me and that he's possible with you? Wake up!"

The expression on Ai's face hardened as she struggled with a reply. There was a person whom she didn't want to bring into this dispute - Ran. She took a deep breath, shut her eyes, and relaxed her tightened jaws.

Conan sighed. "There's another reason." He looked in the direction of the professor's house while Ai looked at him. "I want to keep them busy with something to prevent them from going to the professor's house to ask about the camping trip. At least for today."

"Why?"

"There's something wrong. Big."

Ai frowned.

Yet, Conan couldn't help but feel defeated when they reached the professor's house. "What in the world are the three of you thinking coming here with us?"

"To ask about the camping trip," Genta replied.

Simple as that.

"And to make sure you don't bully Ai-chan."

Mitsuhiko nodded.

"Oh... But I'd be very grateful already if she didn't bully me," Conan muttered.

Ai glared.

"I never said that." Conan said quickly and raised his hands to surrender.

"Well, let's go in." Genta twisted the doorknob and entered the house.

"I'm back," Ai announced, changed her shoes, and headed to the living room where she froze as her eyes met a familiar pair of cold ones. The bag that she was holding in her hands slipped out of her grip and dropped onto the floor.

"I don't think the professor's home," Conan said, bumping into Ai because he'd been looking behind him. When he fixed his eyes in the direction the strawberry blonde was staring at, he gaped. "Ai..."

Something wrong. Big.

"Hey, where's the professor?" Genta asked idly as he wandered into the living room. Then he saw. "Who the heck are you?" he pointed to the man sitting on the sofa and shouted.

Ayumi and Mitsuhiko joined Genta after hearing his shout and saw the man.

Mitsuhiko stammered, "He couldn't have killed the professor, could he?"

Ayumi muffled a scream.

"Why! How dare he!" Genta yelled and charged towards the man, who was looking rather amused.

"Wait! Genta!" Conan shouted and rushed after Genta to stop him.

-x-

(TBC)


	15. They Found Out (Part 2)

_Reminder: I wrote this in 2005. _

* * *

><p><strong>CH 15 - They Found Out (Part 2)<strong>

-x-

For several minutes, they could only hear the humming of the heater. The two girls who were sitting on the sofa shifted their gazes to the floor to avoid the stern stare from the FBI agent across the tea table.

A clock in another room struck five.

After the chimes died away, Jodie said in a stiff voice, "Please forgive my words, Mouri-san. But the FBI isn't your private information provider."

Ran looked up. There was understanding in her eyes as well as regret for coming here and asking those questions, but there was also desperation. She wanted to find out, she wanted to know. "I want to help," she said softly.

No wonder Chris Vineyard called her an Angel, Jodie thought. She could see more of the why with each passing day. Her expression softened. "How are you going to help?" she asked, no longer in a hostile tone but nevertheless cynical.

"I don't know. I don't know, but I'm sure there'd be some way. Maybe by helping them carry the burden a little. But I won't be able to do so if I don't even know what's going on."

"Why don't you ask him directly? It'd be easier and less dangerous than it is to come to my place after school. He lives with you."

Ran shook her head and lowered her gaze. "He moved to ha—Agasa-hakase's house. I don't think he wants to tell me about it."

Jodie frowned.

"Please, Jodie-sensei!" Ran shut her eyes tight to prevent the tears from forming and pleaded. "I couldn't sleep last night—I'm really worried. You're the only other person I can ask..."

The FBI agent unfolded her arms, picked up her cup of coffee, and took a sip. "If he doesn't want to tell you, then I can't say anything either." She placed the cup back on the table. "In fact, the more so."

Ran looked up, confused.

"You're not related to him," Jodie explained as she leaned back in her seat, refolding her arms and crossing her legs. "Why should we tell you something without his consent?"

"But she's his guardian," Sonoko said for Ran, who was still taken aback by Jodie's statement and question. "That counts."

"Guardian?" Jodie looked thoughtfully from Sonoko to Ran then to Sonoko again. "Oh. That changes things."

The two best friends exchanged a relieved and hopeful look. Even though Sonoko could care less about the well-being of Edogawa Conan or Kudo Shinichi, she was aware of how important it was to Ran and was ready to support her best friend, no matter how dangerous the situation would turn out to be.

"But Suzuki-san," Jodie continued with the same thoughtfulness and kept her gaze on Sonoko, who, with Ran, had turned her attention to the former English teacher. "You're neither." In other words, I still can't say anything to your best friend because you're around, as harsh as that may sound. Sorry. They glanced at each other again. This time, Sonoko's face carried an apologetic look, whereas Ran's appeared to be willing to give up finding out about the case that Conan and Ai were involved in. _How ironic_, Ran thought and bit her lips, _for me to interrogate the FBI. Jodie-sensei must be thinking of the same thing. No wonder she's irritated._

"I'll leave," Sonoko offered before Ran could thank Jodie and apologize for all the trouble. "It's okay, Ran," she said with a reassuring smile when she saw her best friend looking at her as if she had just announced that she was leaving Japan for good. "I'll wait for you in the café across the street. And then we'll go to Doctor Araide's house together."

"Doctor Araide?" Jodie asked in alarm while Ran thanked Sonoko. "Did you say Doctor Araide? Araide Tomoaki?"

"Yeah," said Sonoko, puzzled. Neither she nor Ran comprehended Jodie's unease. "You know him, don't you? He's the doctor at school."

"I know, but why are you going to his house?"

"Didn't Jodie-sensei hear about it?" Ran asked. "Doctor Araide found a job elsewhere. He's leaving Tokyo soon."

"So we'd thought we'd hold a farewell party for him," Sonoko said. "Just like what we did for you last time, Jodie-sensei."

_Leaving Tokyo..._ Jodie narrowed her eyes and looked seriously at her two students. "When did you hear about it? Today?"

"No. Last Wednesday," Ran and Sonoko answered together.

"I invited him to the dinner party at my house," Sonoko added. "We didn't see him at school today. Will you come, though, Jodie-sensei?"

Both of them watched her eagerly while she hesitated for a moment before delighting the two students with her response "Maybe."

After spending another few minutes discussing about the surprise party, Sonoko decided it was time to go. She wished Ran good luck, said "See you later," and left Jodie's apartment, humming along the way.

Another minute of silence passed between Ran and Jodie before Ran mustered enough courage to ask, "Are you really going to tell me about the case involving Conan-kun and Ai-chan?"

Jodie's expression hardened, but not without a trace of guilt. "I'm sorry, Mouri-san."

_I should've known_, Ran thought sullenly. Jodie-sensei might have well said "Over my dead body" instead. And she'd wanted to ask about Shinichi as well. Maybe she shouldn't have picked Jodie-sensei—an FBI agent—to ask about these things. Hakase seemed to know a lot. But then Conan-kun would be there, and he'd ruin her plans. Like always.

_"Magic... is an art which demands collaboration between the artist and his public," huh_, she said to herself, never hating herself more than for recalling this quote. She must be really naïve to have fallen for the tricks that Shinichi pulled... _if_ he was Conan-kun. Maybe Sonoko was right. Maybe she should stop being so kind. But she wasn't kind. Sure, she remembered helping people, but anyone would've done the same. Besides, being kind and being naïve are different.

On and on went Jodie about the dangers of knowing about the case. Half-listening and half-submerged in her own thoughts, Ran concluded that there was reasonableness in Jodie's arguments but more or less one-sided.

Criminals would kill those who knew too much of them? _Only_ those who knew too much? Only if they were very humanistic criminals. And listen to this: If she found out about them, the people around her might be dragged into all this madness as well. Would she want that to happen? Of course not! But the same goes to Conan-kun, too, right? She was his _guardian_, for God's sake! Any smart villain would know that she was on the top of the to-be-silenced list whether she knew about them or not.

The more Ran listened, the more she found the reasons to be ridiculous. She wasn't sure if it was because they _were_ ridiculous or because her bias was already there. Perhaps if she tried to put herself in another person's position... But she was desperate, dammit! One more of this be-ignorant-be-safe day and she swore she'd go insane from over-imagining the dangers approaching—no, the dangers already surrounding the people she cared for.

The truth is often cruel, a voice in her head warned. Yes, yes, she agreed. And beyond imagination, too, she added. But people also often exaggerated what was pea-sized. Then they ended up wondering why the hell they were worried about it in the first place. What a waste of time and energy. It was a bargain, a gamble, and Ran knew it perfectly, but she wanted to lay the wager on the risky end. Even if everything turned out to be disastrous in the end.

Ignorance might be bliss, and one might be carefree and happy without knowing or thinking too much. Hell, true philosophers were the most miserable beings on Earth. But something in Ran just snapped.

"'In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God,'" Ran recited out of the blue.

"Sorry?"

"Aeschylus," Ran clarified. "Jodie-sensei, I understand everything you say, and in a different circumstance, I may agree with you wholly. But right now, I have to ignore those dangers. I have to know, and I have to do something." Her voice began to rise with excitement. "I hate waiting! I hate waiting helplessly in the dark, never knowing when the people I care about would disappear and never knowing what happened or why! I don't want to wait until it's too late when the only thing I can do is revenge. I don't want to avenge for anything or

anybody." Ran broke into tears. "I don't want...don't..."

"Revenge, you say?" Jodie said quietly, reminded of her childhood.

"I'd rather lose someone, knowing why, than to lose someone, not knowing why," Ran said in a trembling voice after controlling her tears.

"Even if the why..."

Ran nodded once. Hard. Determined.

"You should ask him, Mouri-san," Jodie said. She was moved but in a different way. "Although we are investigating on the same case, we have different stories to tell. His is the one you want to hear."

Tears formed in Ran's eyes again. She was disappointed. Really disappointed. All this for nothing! With her head lowered, she jumped up from the sofa and said before running out the door, "Sorry for troubling you, Jodie-sensei."

The door slammed shut.

After taking in a deep breath to pull herself together, Jodie reached for the phone. She was aware that she—and the FBI—owed Ran and Sonoko a favor, but what Ran demanded was beyond what she could offer as thanks. Maybe she should've told her sooner. As she dialed James Black's phone number and waited for him to pick up, she was suddenly reminded of Chris Vineyard.

What a weird world.

-x-

"He is hakase's friend!" Conan shouted as he grabbed the back of Genta's shirt, attempting to stop Genta from leaping onto the man on the sofa. He succeeded, after being dragged forward for about two meters, but only because Mitsuhiko helped while Genta came to his senses. "Hakase must have gone out to buy some food! Why don't you all go home? Hakase will be busy with the rare guest, so go!" Conan said in a loud voice while trying to act casual as he jostled Genta, Mitsuhiko, and Ayumi past the stunned Haibara Ai and out the door. "Goodbye, and come back tomorrow!" With that, he threw out their backpacks.

"Hey!" Genta yelled and tugged on the doorknob to prevent the door from shutting. "What about you? Why are you staying over?"

This time, Mitsuhiko helped Genta, which made Conan's effort to close the door seem like a baby's effort to pull a teddy bear out of a big, strong adult's grasp.

"You don't live here, Conan-kun!" Ayumi cried out.

_You... kids!_ Conan yelled mentally but recognized that it was to his disadvantage to go one on three, even though Ayumi was a girl.

Never underestimate girls. Wasn't that what his dad said?

"Okay, okay!" Conan gave up and exited the house, not forgetting to snatch his backpack up from the floor, despite the fact that he'd be coming back here later, one way or another. "Let's go! Hurry!"

Sometimes, being Edogawa Conan was just so tiring.

After much yelling and arguing, Conan managed to send the three of them home. But on the way back to Doctor Agasa's house, he found himself standing before the Mouri Detective Agency. Staring up at the windows, he wondered why his feet had brought him to this place. Not that it was a place of bad memories or anything.

Oh well, it wouldn't hurt to drop by and say Hi, would it? It'd be quick.

"Ran-neechan?" Conan called out as he peeked into the empty living room. He pushed the door open and stepped inside. "Ran-neechan? Occhan?"

He heard some rustling and looked in the direction of where the noise came from. Ran was standing by the door of her room and looking at Conan with red, swollen eyes. She hadn't changed out of her school uniform.

"Have you been crying, Ran-neechan?" Conan asked, alarmed.

Ran smiled, which, unlike many, did not turn into a grimace-like expression. "You're back, Conan-kun. How was school?" Her voice was a little husky.

"Fine. Like always."

It suddenly felt so strange to talk to Ran. So many things were different from before, it was difficult to pinpoint what exactly was causing the awkwardness. Maybe all of them contributed a little. Ran's tears, Ai, the distance from one door to the other, the absence of Mouri Kogoro...

"I came by to say Hi," Conan continued in a timid voice. "A-and to pick up something." Damn. He regretted it at once when the words came out. It would've been better if he hadn't added the statement, which was a lie anyway.

"Oh." Disappointed, again.

"How have you been?" Another stupid thing to say, Conan realized. It was obvious how she was when she cried herself into _that_ state.

"Fine. Like always."

The same words, the same tone. But very different in essence. If her face wasn't looking that terrible, he would've believed that she was fine, like always. Then it dawned upon him that maybe she was never fine, maybe Ai wasn't the only one who had to mask herself, maybe...

"Hurry up and get whatever it is that you came for." Ran walked into the living room, reached for the tissue box, and blew her nose. "Don't keep people waiting."

Startled, Conan looked at Ran uncomfortably, but her attention was elsewhere. "Where's occhan?" he asked as he headed for his room.

"He went out to play mahjong." He heard Ran say as he gathered a couple of his mystery novels. "I'm not supposed to be home tonight either."

"Where were you planning to go?" He came out from his room, carrying his backpack and novels, and walked up to the couch on which Ran was sitting.

"Doctor Araide's house." She blew her nose again.

"What?"

"Doctor Araide's house." Ran raised her voice, thinking that Conan hadn't heard her previously.

"Why?"

Ran studied Conan's face. "Is there something wrong about visiting Doctor Araide? You and Jodie-sensei reacted the same way when we mentioned we were going to his house."

"Jodie-sensei? We?"

Waving her hand out of frustration, Ran said, "Forget it. It's nothing important. Did you get everything you need?"

"I want to know, Ran-neechan! Tell me!"

Tired, Ran gave in to Conan's childish pleading and told him about her visit to Jodie and the party that was supposed to happen tonight at Doctor Araide's house. "I didn't feel like going anymore, so I came back after telling Sonoko. But she called not long ago and said that the party was cancelled anyway. Doctor Araide wasn't home. His neighbors think he has already moved away."

_Moved away..._

"Shouldn't you be going, Conan-kun? It's a little past six. It's pretty late."

Conan hesitated. "See you then, Ran-neechan."

"I'm fine, Conan-kun. Really." She smiled. "Don't look at me as if I'm a dying person. I'm just tired. That's all."

"Take care of yourself."

"I'm not dying!"

Conan scurried to the door before Ran's threat to hit him came true.

"Hey, wait! Conan-kun!"

He stopped at the door and looked at Ran, who'd stood up.

"Can you... You and Ai-chan..."

_Eh? _Conan felt his heart beat faster.

"The case... The one that you and Ai-chan are involved in... Could you promise to tell me everything about it, not now, but later? Please?"

"What case?" Conan put on an innocent smile but felt his heart sinking from guilt.

"You know which one, Conan-kun," Ran said indignantly, sounding the same as how she'd say "You are Shinichi, aren't you, Conan-kun?"

The shrunken detective lowered his gaze before nodding his head. "I'll tell you everything—later. I promise." Somewhere, in a land faraway, he could hear Ai scold "Don't make promises so easily, doofus!" But what else could he have done?

Ran beamed. "Bye-bye, Conan-kun!"

Conan waved his hand and rushed down the stairs. He'd wasted enough time.

-x-

After Conan had practically kicked Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta out of Doctor Agasa's house (and he himself yanked out in the process), a long moment of silence filled the room while the two remaining people stared at each other. They could hear the clock sitting on the kitchen counter ticking.

"Hello," the man greeted. It was amusing to watch four kids wrestling each other, but the circus was long gone. It wouldn't be productive if they just continued to stare at each other, would it? Wondering if each other were real?

"Akai Shuichi..." Ai whispered, still lodging in the land of incredulity and feeling extremely surreal.

"So you know me," Shuichi said but paused to reconsider his tone. He didn't sound as surprised as he'd wanted to be. "Well, that saves a lot of time. You are Agasa Hiroshi's ward, aren't you?" He picked up a black folder that was lying on the table before the sofa and searched through the papers in it.

"Where is hakase?" Ai demanded once she cleared her mind.

Shuichi pulled out a stack of paper and closed the folder. "You might be interested in this."

"Where. Is. Hakase?"

"Are you Miyano Shiho?" Shuichi looked up at the strawberry blonde, who was growing impatient from his ignoring of her question.

Ai narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything in response.

"I can only give you this if you're Miyano Shiho," Shuichi said and held up the stack of paper.

Glaring, Ai walked forward with caution until she was within arm's reach of the sofa and snatched the stack of paper out of Shuichi's hand. "Quit dodging my question. What is this?" She looked.

**APTX-4869**

Ai couldn't believe her eyes. She was holding the research files of APTX-4869. Someone printed out the pages and pages of research notes and gave them to Shuichi, who now passed them to her. Somehow.

She must be dreaming.

"Ah, Agasa Hiroshi..." Shuichi took out a cigarette but put it away when he saw Ai's you-smoke-you-die glare. "We arrested him." He announced it as if he was saying "He went out to buy some ice-cream."

All the pieces of paper that Ai was holding slipped out of her hand and scattered onto the floor. She wasn't trembling, she froze.

"You what?" The words barely came out. Ai looked at Shuichi after she regained the ability to think. "Why? He didn't do anything."

"He's involved with the Organization."

"He is not," Ai said in a voice louder and more firm than she'd ever remembered using. "He is not a member. I am." Ai paused and corrected, "Was."

"We're not after you, we're after him."

"He is innocent! Just because he is my guardian and I look underage doesn't mean you can arrest him in my place!"

"It is not a question of you looking like a juvenile!" Shuichi replied in an equally loud and firm voice, with the addition of slight exasperation in his tone. "He is a member, whether you like it or not."

Ai was shaking. Before her legs gave way, she sank into the seat beside Shuichi on the sofa.

"You've made a mistake. He is not a member. I would've known if he was."

Shuichi sighed. "Your sister Akemi. You didn't sense anything from her, did you?"

Ai looked up, unable to comprehend the relevance of the question.

"Did you sense anything from Akemi as you would have from, let's say, Chris Vineyard?"

She was still confused. "But she was my sister."

"Exactly." Shuichi folded his arms. "She was your sister, therefore she didn't want to harm you in any way. It's not that the members of the Organization have a special scent or aura. It's your own sixth sense for self-protection and survival. Every human being has such a sense. Every living creature has it. Yours is just sharpened because of the Organization." He paused. "Agasa Hiroshi must not have wanted to harm you either, just like your sister. That's why."

"Then why?" Ai asked softly. "Why did you still have to..."

"The law is the law."

A bitter smile appeared on Ai's face. "Are you going to arrest me, too?"

Shuichi glanced at the girl sitting beside him. Ex-member, Akemi's sister... "You're different."

"I don't understand."

The FBI agent remained silent.

"How did you find out about hakase? And where did you get the files?" Ai asked, shoving a few pieces of paper near her feet to the largest pile.

"Catherine Choi's laptop."

Ai looked up in surprise. The Organization never allowed personal laptops. Everything had to be under the Organization's direct control and surveillance. That Marie Antoinette double had some nerve.

"It was the only system that wasn't crashed," Shuichi continued. "Probably because it wasn't connected to the main. The laptop was hidden pretty well in the lab. We almost missed it if it weren't for the sharp eyes of one of our agents. It contains a lot of information, but most of them in French. We had to call a translator over. Huh. A lot of information, but hardly anything useful." He chuckled. "You should've seen the translator. He had a load of trouble with all those scientific terms and got fed up with translating The Stranger. But it's

interesting how she kept a digital copy of the novel."

"There was a list of the members, right?"

"A small one. Scientists only. Most of them are dead."

"Of course," Ai mumbled.

Shuichi watched the strawberry blonde closely. Her face was grim. Whether it was because of Doctor Agasa or the dead scientists, he wasn't sure.

After a few minutes of silence, Ai asked, "Did you come here for anything else?"

"Hmm? Oh, I forgot how much you dislike me." Shuichi picked up the black folder, stood up, and straightened his shirt. "You seem to be...doing well," he remarked and headed for the door.

"Depends."

Shuichi stopped. "Akemi," he said without turning around. "She's really...not around anymore."

Ai leaned back in her seat and looked away from Shuichi. "It doesn't kill to say the word 'dead.'" Ai became tightlipped. "You still have the cheeks to say—you didn't even bother to save her. She loved you. But you were just an undercover, weren't you? Just toying around... I hate you. I hate all of you." Suddenly, she felt sad. "But I love one of you, too..." She fell silent while the clock on the kitchen counter continued ticking. "Do you think he means it?" she asked finally.

"You'll have to ask him yourself." Shuichi paused, contemplating on Ai's expression and what to say next. "I loved her very much. Truly."

"Then why didn't you save her?"

Blaming someone else was always easy. And burden-removing. However, Ai was aware, consciously or not, that she was partly responsible for Akemi's death.

"If you try to save someone who cannot be saved no matter what, you're only making worthless sacrifices."

Ai swirled her head around but could only glare at Shuichi's back. "Anyone can be saved!"

"That's not true."

"You didn't try. You won't know until you try."

Shuichi smiled and continued walking to the door. "You're still so hard to figure out. On one hand, you haven't changed at all, and on another, you seem to have changed a lot." He waved his hand and opened the door. "It's a pity I didn't meet you first."

The door clicked shut before Ai could stop him.

Sighing, Ai stretched her legs and leaned against the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. "We're such fools, nee-chan," Ai said aloud. "To love two bigger fools." She smiled. "They say history repeats itself." Her smile dropped. "Hakase..."

She didn't know how long she sat like that on the sofa—with her eyes shut, concentrating on her heart beat and breathing to empty her mind. She didn't hear the door creak open, the feet shuffling into the living room, the papers being picked up (and the gasp along seeing what was written on the papers)...

"Ai, you asleep?"

Ai opened her eyes groggily and saw Conan looking at her with concern. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head. "Just thinking." After Conan took a seat beside her, she added, "About nothing."

"Akai Shuichi, he left?" A nod in response. "Did he give you these?" He pointed to the papers in his hand. A nod again. "How did he get them?"

A brief explanation on Cathy's laptop followed, including a quick overview on Doctor Agasa's arrest. Just nothing about Akemi.

Conan's eyes widened more and more as he heard the story. Like Ai, he couldn't believe that Doctor Agasa was a member. But that explained everything about Galatea. _Something wrong, big._ That must've been it. He and his stupid detective instinct.

He also felt a little mad and upset to find out that the FBI was leaving him out of so many things. But he was relieved as well when he heard Ai said that she should be able to make the right antidote soon, and more so after she pointed to a spreadsheet that charted the protein calculations, which Catherine Choi had worked on.

"Shinichi," Ai stopped organizing the research papers and called out in a soft voice. "Don't leave me."

If things were a little different, Conan would've made fun of her insecurity. But Doctor Agasa wasn't there in the house today. He might not be there tomorrow. In fact, he might never be there again.

Conan took Ai's hands in his. "I won't. Don't worry."

Wondering how anyone's hands could be that warm, Ai smiled and tightened her grip on his hands. "Oh, and one more thing..."

"Yes?"

"Take back the promise you made to protect me."

"What?" The small smile on Conan's face disappeared. "Why?"

"Just take it back."

"No."

"Take it back!"

"No! Why?"

"Because it would make me feel better," Ai decided to say.

Furrowing his brows, Conan let go of Ai's hand and held up her cheeks to make her look at him. "That brain of yours can never stop thinking stupid things, can it?"

"It's not..." But Ai was too distracted to finish her sentence. His hands were so warm and she was feeling so comfortable and safe that she didn't want his hands to leave her face.

"No one is allowed to quit and walk out, you got that? No one!"

Ai grinned sheepishly. _I wasn't thinking about suicide..._

Her thoughts went disarray, though, when Conan kissed her. Her heart raced, while the heat rising on her cheeks blended into the warmth that Conan's hands were transferring to her face. She stared at him.

"I love you," Conan said. "I love you. So don't do anything stupid. And don't leave me either."

Ai nodded furiously and hugged Conan tightly. "I know... I love you, too."

No sarcasm this time. And to hell with history.

-x-

After dinner and after cleaning the dishes, they sat back down on the sofa. Ai was leaning her back on Conan and stretching her legs out on the sofa.

"What are you thinking about?" Ai asked, twisting her head a little to look at the detective.

"The case," Conan muttered.

"Still want to investigate?" Ai extended her arms, placed her hands on her knees, and looked at the ceiling.

"So the Organization bans private laptops."

"Mm."

"It's strange." Conan folded his arms and looked up at the ceiling as well. "Choi was a very careless person, and yet she was able to hide her laptop from the other members of the Organization so well for a considerable amount of time."

"She could be the type of people who could do very well if they decided to pay a little attention."

"It can't be as simple as that. By the way, do you know why she wanted the antidote?"

Ai thought for a moment. "If she considered me as an academic opponent, then I'd know why she wanted my antidote. If not, then we may never find out."

"Well, she did say that she had something personal to settle with you. It could be the academic rivalry thing. Where did you get the idea?"

"Scientists are like that," Ai answered simply. "Do you know what she wanted to settle with me?"

Conan shook his head. "But suppose our speculation is correct, why did she want the antidote? To see who made the better one?"

"Something like that."

"That's stupid."

"We could be wrong."

Conan nodded thoughtfully. "We're probably wrong." He paused before clutching his head with frustration. "Argh! Why did she have to go and die?"

"If a certain someone hadn't kept the change in plans secret, she wouldn't have died."

"Yes, yes. I should've told you that the FBI was coming, shouldn't I?" Conan snorted. He sounded as sour as a lemon. "We were working on the basis that it'd be safer if fewer people knew about the plan. Walls have ears."

"They found out anyway. But I didn't know, which screwed us up badly. I'm just so untrustworthy, aren't I?"

"It's not that," Conan sighed. Then he added jokingly, "You always mess up my plans. Did you notice that?"

"I offer you my deepest sympathies?"

Conan grinned, but Ai wasn't smiling.

She glanced at Conan but looked away to prevent him from seeing her downcast face. "The lab that Catherine Choi stepped out of when I shot her, was she running it?"

"Yeah. Why? Does knowing that disprove any of our hypotheses?"

Ai shrugged, but when Conan looked at her carefully, he noticed the paleness on her face. She looked as if she was turning sick.

"You okay?" Conan asked anxiously.

Ai nodded, but not in the least convincing Conan.

"Hey, I wasn't blaming you just now. I—"

"It's not that." Ai set her feet on the floor and grimaced. "You didn't go into that lab, did you?"

"I did. Is something the matter? Come to think of it, you did look horrified when you saw me down there—"

_"There is a rumor about this laboratory. Once upon a time..."_

"Ai," Conan called out when he recalled Cathy's story. Frowning, he asked slowly, "What happened in that lab?"

Shutting her eyes tight, Ai swallowed and covered her mouth with her hands. She whispered, "You don't want to know."

"Hey, Ai, are you okay?" Conan shook Ai's shoulder gently.

"Excuse me." Ai jumped off the sofa and rushed to the bathroom. She wasn't ill.

-x-

Shiho stepped into the dim hallway and slammed the door of the lab shut. Her lab assistants were a pain, APTX-4869 was a pain, and ugh, there was this smell—no, stench that reminded her of paint in the hallway. She wrinkled her nose and tried to determine what the smell was. Rotten paint mixed with all kinds of rotten stuff, maybe. The smell had never been there before, but it seemed to be getting stronger as she walked down the passage.

Stopping at where the smell seemed to peak, Shiho looked to her right and saw the door of the other lab open by about three centimeters. The lab was in charge of another of the Organization's damned research. Nobody told her what the research was about, not that she cared.

It seemed like a good idea right then to go back to work on perfecting APTX-4869.

What the hell was going on in that lab? Dissecting cats?

Pinching her nose, Shiho peeked through the opening. It was dark in the lab, and she glimpsed two figures moving about in the lab. Must be the researchers. But then what she saw next nearly knocked her out cold.

She ran to the bathroom, and after throwing up, she washed her face multiple times, trying to rinse away the stench, but the smell and the mental image of the lab didn't go away.

They weren't dissecting cats. They were dissecting people. It wasn't autopsy or anything distinct, but it was definitely less than ethical.

Footsteps stopped at the bathroom door and someone pushed it open. Shiho looked up while water dripped from her face. It was a woman around her mid-forties.

"Don't come near me," Shiho warned, causing the person to halt her footsteps. "You're a researcher in that lab, aren't you?"

"You saw everything?"

"How can you stay in there? What are you doing in there!"

The researcher looked down at the floor, unable to find a good answer.

"They're doing the same as what you're doing, only in a different way," another voice said.

Shiho looked past the researcher's shoulders and saw Vermouth leaning on the bathroom door.

"The child doesn't have to know the details," the researcher said coldly.

"Oh?" Vermouth flashed an innocent smile. "But she wants to know." She looked at Shiho and continued with a smile, ignoring the angry glares from the researcher, "Examining human bodies, living and dead, to find the key to human life. That's what they're doing. And afterwards when they find something, they'll manufacture the chemicals into pills. Your field, isn't it?" Her eyes turned serious. "Forget what you saw, Sherry." Smirking, Vermouth patted the researcher's shoulder and left.

The researcher continued to glare at Vermouth's back until the latter was out of sight. Then she turned to Shiho. "Are you going to be all right?"

Shiho shook her head. "No. But I don't want to see you either."

The researcher nodded, looking rather sad. "I understand."

The bathroom door closed. And that was the last time Shiho saw the researcher.

-x-

Ai's head was buried in Conan's chest while she was held in his arms. She'd thrown up a couple more times when she was telling Conan about the lab, but now, she was a lot calmer than she was previously. Sweat and water dripped off her face.

"That researcher," Ai resumed after catching her breath. "Do you want to know who she was? My mother. God damn it! She was my mother!" Ai gripped a portion of Conan's shirt in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut.

Conan didn't know how to react. The lab's "rumor" had already shocked him enough to forget what being shocked felt like. He couldn't even ask how it was possible for the researcher to be Mrs. Miyano.

"I didn't know then," Ai continued, perhaps having guessed the question on Conan's mind. "I only found out after I listened to the cassettes. The other person in the lab was probably my father. I didn't see his face. They didn't die in the accident. The Organization lied. But why? How could they stand that research? I'm like this already when I only looked in there for a second..."

"When did this happen?" Conan finally found his voice, but it was as shaky as Ai's voice.

"About a month before nee-chan died. Does it matter?"

Conan frowned. Somehow, things were beginning to make sense. But if his theory was true, there was no way he could tell Ai. No way.

All of the sudden, he understood why Miyano Elena was called Hell Angel. She really was Hell Angel. She loved her daughters very much, but she must have also loved her dream and ambition very much. The Miyano couple researched on immortality, but they must've realized that there were many ways to approach said subject.

They didn't have enough time to try out all the different methods. Maybe they didn't have enough people. And they should've known that not all methods would succeed. Perhaps only one. Perhaps none. They might have already failed a lot of times.

After Shiho was born, they must have realized that they could use her to take over one of the researches. It could also have been the Organization that'd decided to use Shiho. It was debatable as to who—the Miyano couple themselves or the Organization—suggested to "kill" the Miyano couple. Maybe it was to prevent distraction for either of the researches. Maybe it was because of something else.

Miyano Akemi knew what her parents looked like, so she was kept at the bottom of the Organization.

Then Shiho accidentally found out about the other lab. For some reason, the Organization deemed the incident to be dangerous. The Organization might have been afraid that Shiho would mention it to Akemi, and then Akemi might find out about their parents. The Organization might have been afraid that Elena would tell her younger daughter

everything.

If Shiho found out, then it was very possible that she would begin to doubt the Organization's words. Doubt, to all authorities, was the source of rebellious thoughts.

Thus, there was only one safe solution.

If the Miyano couple died, it probably turned out to be just as what the Organization had lied to Akemi and Shiho about in the earlier days—an accident.

_Su-u-re_, Conan thought bitterly. _An accident._

Akemi might have been provided with the offer that if she robbed the bank and presented the Organization with the billion yen, she and her sister would be allowed to leave the Organization. In truth, the Organization wanted to find a way to kill Akemi. And then keep quiet to force Shiho into doing something outrageous from the Organization's point of view.

Conan really thought he'd made the members of the Organization overly rational. Why should they want to kill with sound reasons? Or with any reason at all?

He could be wrong, Conan thought, but it made sense from what he'd discovered so far about the Organization's activities. It could be psychology as to why the Organization wanted some justification to back them up for what they'd done.

More and more, the Black Organization seemed to be a huge fan of human psychological warfare.

The detective thought of Cathy again. It could be possible that she'd wanted to speak to Ai about Ai's parents. But then, the antidote...

Ai mumbled something.

"What did you say?"

"You saw the lab?"

"Yes, but there was nothing inside."

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry to have told you all these. But I feel like I've gotten rid of something. I still don't understand why, but... Thank you."

Conan smiled and rubbed Ai's back as reassurance. "Do you want to go to sleep now? Or..."

Ai lifted her head and nodded. She was tired. "Shinichi, can you sleep in hakase's bed tonight?" she asked as she prepared to brush her teeth.

_Right_, Conan thought, _hakase's bed is next to her bed_. "What, you scared?" Conan teased.

Glaring through the mirror, Ai took out her toothbrush and demanded, "Can you or can't you?"

"Sure."

Ai returned to brushing her teeth without giving Conan the smile he was expecting.

While waiting for Ai to get ready for bed, the detective sank back into his thoughts about the Organization. Choi and the antidote and the lab and the Miyano couples and...

_It's wrong_, Conan told himself. _It has to be. I made a mistake somewhere. Just because that thing happened after this thing happened doesn't mean it's a cause-and-effect relationship. Yes. But curiosity certainly kills-no, no! I-_

The bathroom door opened and Ai walked out in her pajamas. "Good night," she said and went upstairs.

Whoa? She wasn't going to wait for him?

Anyway. Conan went back to his musings as he brushed his teeth. Ai mentioned punishments when tampering with time... He could see how it would appear as if time reversed itself when you suddenly realized that your parents weren't dead after all, but if Ai was referring the punishments to the not-so-much cause-and-effect happenings, then...

Conan scratched his head. Then what? Then it would mean that she should know the answer to the why she was asking when in fact she didn't. Maybe she knew the generalization of that punishment but just hadn't applied it to herself yet. General versus specifics.

The detective sighed. If his surmise was true, then it wouldn't take long for Ai to piece everything together. _That girl_, Conan thought as he rinsed his mouth, _is as bad as Ran when it comes to blaming herself._

Wait. What about APTX-4869, which actually disturbed the stream of time? Conan thought about himself. He certainly lost a lot of things that he had as Kudo Shinichi after he became Edogawa Conan, but he wouldn't have met Ai if he hadn't... Conan narrowed his eyes. He thought about the couple times he changed back into Shinichi. And then changing back to Conan. The idea of the punishment was forming, but it wasn't clear yet.

It's like those math puzzles with two rings (each possessing a small opening) hooked to each other that you can separate and then put together again without sheer pulling and pushing-you just need the right technique. There is one alignment of the openings that will help you accomplish the task without using physical strength, and one only.

Something was hindering him from finding that one alignment to put the separated rings together.

"I'm going to bed," he groaned and joined Ai upstairs. To his surprise, she was still awake. She was sitting on her bed and looking at him. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Ai said as she wrapped her blanket around her and flopped onto her bed, still looking at him. "You wouldn't mind if I screamed in the middle of the night, would you?"

Conan raised his eyebrow. "You scream? I suppose you sleep walk, too?"

"That's not funny. I don't dare to shut my eyes right now. I really don't know what I'd dream of tonight, or tomorrow night even. Just thought I should tell you."

"Don't worry," Conan said and climbed into Doctor Agasa's bed after turning off the lights and adjusting to the darkness. "I'll be here when you need me." He smiled and looked at Ai, whose eyes were still wide open. "Go to sleep!"

Ai bit her lips. "You talk while I sleep," she requested before shutting her eyes hesitantly.

"What are you? A kid?"

She grunted. "You'd be acting the same if you saw what was in the lab first-hand."

"When is your birthday?" Conan changed subjects.

Ai's eyes popped open but were closed again immediately. "I'm not telling you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"But how am I supposed to get you presents if you don't tell me when it is?"

"Get me double for Christmas."

"Hey, that's different!"

"No, it isn't."

"Birthdays shouldn't be treated like top secrets."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a happy occasion to be celebrated!"

"Happy occasion?" Ai asked in a low and rather scornful voice and opened her eyes to look at Conan.

Drat. He'd forgotten that Ai's birth (or Shiho's birth, rather) didn't exactly invite happiness to the party.

Wait. Then she knew? Did she figure everything out so quickly or had she known it all along? No, she was probably thinking of something else.

"Uh, how about I tell you a story about Dumbo?"

"Dumbo? Who's Dumbo?"

Conan looked at Ai in surprise, but when he opened his mouth to make a sarcastic comment, he remembered that Ai really didn't have a childhood. "Dumbo is the flying elephant from Disney," he said instead.

"Disney?" And she'd thought he was interested in nothing else but mysteries. "I'm not a kid."

"It's a good story!"

"Fine. Make it long." Ai snuggled deeper into her blanket and closed her eyes.

"Once upon a time, there was a baby elephant that belonged to a circus. His name was Dumbo. He wanted to fly. One day, he met these two crows. They heard about his dream and decided to help him. They gave him a black feather, telling him that it had magical powers and that if he held it with his nose and flapped his ears at the same time, he would be able to fly.

"The next day, he was up for a performance. He held the feather with his nose and jumped down from a high place, flapping his ears. To his delight, he was flying. The two crows joined him and congratulated him. But suddenly, the feather slipped out of his nose and floated to the ground. Dumbo also began to fall downwards. The crows told him to flap his ears and to not lose his confidence. He believed them and tried. And he flied. Without the feather. From then on, he was known as the flying elephant, Dumbo. The end." Conan looked toward Ai's bed. "It's been years since I read this story. I might have distorted some parts, but the basic idea is there. Did you like it?"

Ai didn't respond. She'd fallen asleep.

Conan smiled and yawned, dozing off as fast as he'd come up with the idea to tell the story of the flying elephant.

Yes, it was a good story. But real elephants can't fly.

Too bad it was just a story for children. Conan didn't give it another thought, whereas Ai didn't give a damn about real elephants.

-x-

(TBC)


	16. Innamoramento

**CH 16 - Innamoramento **

-x-

Gin turned off the radio, which was reporting on a car accident earlier that evening near the U.S. Embassy. It was a head-on collision at the intersection; the drivers and the passengers all died before the ambulance arrived. No clear cause was determined, though some believed that one of the cars might have malfunctioned. Because two of the five victims were under the care of the Embassy, a dispute almost broke out between the officials from the Embassy and the Japanese police, but before the governments were dragged in, the officials decided that accidents happened and left the matter at peace.

"What should we do now?" asked Vodka as the Porsche 356A came to a halt at the red light. He'd meant it as a simple question that'd have a simple answer. No, he thought regretfully when he saw Gin's eyes narrow with noticeable irritation.

With the cigarette hanging from his mouth, Gin asked back, "When you find the treasure, what will you do?"

Vodka's eyes widened in surprise from both the implication of the question and the fact that his aniki was actually asking for his opinion. But then he realized that Gin didn't want an answer and that the question was to summarize their situation—inside and out. "Sherry?" he asked instead for confirmation.

The light turned green and Gin stepped on the accelerator. "I can't wait to see her in pain. But," he added without continuing. When the Porsche passed the next streetlight, Vodka noted the dark expression on Gin's face. It could be because of the plot to punish the Traitor, but Vodka settled it to be the frustration behind the "but." The silence ended when Gin spoke again. "We were naive to think that we had only one traitor to deal with," he said in a low and angry voice.

Vodka nodded in agreement. "But they were all taken care of," he pointed out. "Well, except Sherry, whom you now know the whereabouts. Right? We could go tonight—"

The "but" again. It was unlike Gin to be so hesitant, and Vodka wondered what was bugging Gin. Maybe the meeting after lunch between the Boss and his aniki? Vermouth had been present, too, along with a few other higher-ups. Vodka wasn't sure what they'd discussed in the room, but there'd definitely been some ugly exchanges. He guessed that they'd been arguing about what to do next. They hadn't known about Sherry then. At least that was what Vodka thought.

"Everything is so damn wrong," Gin muttered in a tone that scared even Vodka a little. They passed by Doctor Agasa's house, which neither of them appeared to have taken notice.

Naturally, Vodka thought Gin was cursing the FBI, for it was true that none of them was certain who—the FBI or the Organization—was the passive player as of today. The Boss had held the meeting because of the incident over the weekend. However, unknown to Vodka, most of the bitter exchanges at the meeting were about the traitors, especially about Sherry, even though they had argued about what to do next at first. Before someone mentioned Sherry. And unknown to Vodka, during the meeting, two hours before the actual event, they had gotten word that the FBI planned to arrest Doctor Agasa, setting off another series of speculation, suspicion, and shouting.

There hadn't been a lot of people at the meeting, but enough to create chaos. Some had warned they weren't paying enough attention to the FBI that was becoming more and more bizarre with every passing day, some had declared they would care less as long as they saw Sherry's head because things would work out afterwards, some had tried to bring the discussion to the puzzling arrest for the concern was immediate, some had hoped frantically that someone would restore order but eventually lost order themselves... It hadn't taken them long to start yelling at each other about whose fault it was exactly to have caused everything to get out of hand.

For all kinds of reasons, just like that, opinions within the Organization had begun to diverge, though it'd never been uniform for the same reasons in the first place. It was predictable as to what would happen to the Organization next. After all, they were humans. It was strange, at the same time, as to why the events that were out of expectations now would heighten the tension to such a dangerous degree. Perhaps it was as what they'd said—they were of God and the Devil.

But even if Vodka had known, there was little that he could've done.

-x-

Oh, great. This was the second time he woke up that night. Finally admitting that he wasn't going to fall asleep again anytime soon, he opened his eyes. 02:36, read the electric clock on the little table next to the bed. The first time he woke up was a few hours ago, or it could be a few minutes ago, he would never know because he didn't bother to open his eyes. A dream disturbed his sleep this time, and that thoroughly excited his brain cells. About two hours later, he would discover much to his dismay, he'd wake for the third time, but that'd be because he was cold.

Glad to see Ai sleeping undisturbed by him or by herself—yet, and he hoped it would stay that way—Conan shifted so that his back was against the mattress and stared at the ceiling. It wasn't a nightmare, but it wasn't an I'm-flying! dream either. It was just...annoying. And puzzling. Now that he tried to recall the content, he found out that he couldn't remember much except a few words said in the dream and the overall feeling of annoyance. And this irked him even more.

After spending a considerable amount of time in attempt to remember, accomplishing almost nothing save recognizing Ai's face, Choi's face, and Sharon's face, Conan gave up. Dreams were different from homicide cases. There was another blurry image, and the person in it looked like Ran, but Conan was aware that he could very well be mixing up information from his memories. Without Ran, all the other people he'd dreamt of were from the Organization, and the idea seemed mad to him. For now, at least.

Before he was shrunk, he once had a dream about calculus, a dream that helped him make sense out of a concept he'd forgotten, even though the actual logic in the dream was wrong. Who knew how something incorrect helped him understand something correct without adding confusion.

A miracle, Conan grinned at the memory, meaning it as a joke. Miracle. Smile disappearing, he looked at Ai, whose sleeping position hadn't changed since he last looked at her—her face turned toward him, as if seeking comfort. He couldn't remember what Choi or Sharon said in the dream, but he did remember Ai's repeated plea to him that she was a human and his repeated reassurance to her that every one screwed up once in a while.

He wondered if that was what made him love her. Until now, he'd never given it a serious thought. Never crossed his mind, he supposed, to think about why. He just knew he did. And even now, it didn't matter why. Funny, he thought, that "why" didn't need to be answered. On other occasions, he always searched for an explanation to "why" in order to understand fully. Of course, not all whys could be answered, but to not even attempt...

Frowning, Conan turned away and tugged on the blanket with irritation, shutting his eyes and emptying his mind to go back to sleep. So that he wouldn't have to think of nonsense. Loving someone didn't need a reason, he told himself. However, avoiding "why" sometimes wasn't because there were no answers or because there needn't be an answer, but because the answer was not an answer one could face casually.

-x-

The screeching beeps of the electric clock that once threatened to burst Ai's eardrums now jolted Conan awake and gave him a pounding headache. Groaning and opening his eyes, he slammed his hand down on the clock and fumbled with it for a while before finding the right button to switch off the alarm. How come Ai didn't respond to those awful shrieks? Conan was about to glare, with morning grumpiness, at a sleeping Ai when he discovered that her bed was empty. Stay calm, he told himself, fully awake now. From the neatly made bed and the faint coffee smell, he deduced that she was probably eating breakfast idly downstairs. Perhaps she was even laughing secretly at his misfortune to have been left to deal with that—clock.

As expected, he found her at the dining table after he dressed himself and went downstairs. Her back was facing him when he walked up, her head resting sideways on her folded arms on the table as if she was napping. The mug stood by her elbow without any vapor rising out of it—either she'd finished the coffee, or the coffee had turned cold. He climbed onto the chair across the table and saw that she was awake. Her eyes met his and a curious expression replaced the prior deep, self-absorbed look on her face.

"You were thinking just now," the detective observed, straight-faced.

Gaze unfaltering, the chemist leaned back in her seat, placed her hands on her laps, and replied in the same tone with the same expression as the detective, "You were freezing last night."

Consciously resisting the urge to sniff, he lifted his chin a little to make the smugness obvious. "I got me another blanket," he said as if it was the biggest triumph of his life. Then the nose irritation got the better of him. He sneezed.

"Want me to get you some medicine?" he heard Ai ask while he was still shocked that he hadn't been able to prevent the sneeze. Make it into a yawn, push the end of his nose, anything! Furthermore, Ai's solemn tone and the lack of a smirk on her face bothered him.

She was _too_ earnest.

"No thanks."

Ai picked up her mug and shrugged. "Suit yourself." She finished the last bit of the cooled coffee and went into the kitchen while Conan blew his nose. She came back with a glass of water and a tablet, both of which she stretched her arm across the table to set before Conan. "Don't get sick."

Conan snorted but swallowed the medicine obediently. You're turning into Ran, he was going to say but decided against it. "Did you make my breakfast as well?" he asked hopefully when Ai sat down.

"Why would I want to do that? And what makes you think I've already eaten?"

Amazed, Conan's eyes widened. "You haven't?" He thought about it and deemed it reasonable that one would drink coffee before the official breakfast in the early morning. To work with a fresh mind. "What were you doing?" he asked out of curiosity and to cover up his embarrassment for concluding Ai had eaten.

"Thinking?" Ai suggested with a raised eyebrow.

Curiosity peaked, Conan continued, "When did you get up?"

"Around 5 a.m."

Conan glanced at clock hanging on the wall and stared at Ai. He knew he could spend hours thinking about cases, but what was she thinking about? He asked her.

"Nothing of importance to you."

Rehearsed response, Conan noted, and he further noted the unreadable eyes still locked with his. "You seem to have picked up the habit of brooding, lately," he remarked, pretending not to notice whatever she didn't want him to notice, but was careful not to overact. Besides, it wasn't a crime to think. Why should it trouble him? He changed the subject.

Nothing of importance to you, Ai repeated in her mind. Not yet.

-x-

During a break, the Detective Boys sat around the table, musing over a name-card-sized piece of paper with four circles drawn near each corner. Genta had presented it, and it'd taken him a while to explain what he wanted the others to do with the paper—Mitsuhiko finally and kindly pinning the term "artistic meaning" that they were supposed to search for.

"Even then, I only see four circles," Mitsuhiko said, arms folded and brows furrowed.

"Use your imagination!" Genta stressed with the same brightness he had when he first pulled out the paper, but he was growing impatient.

Remembering Genta's love for food, Ayumi suggested timidly, "Pancakes?"

Genta shook his head. "Look behind the picture. Not like that!" he shouted when Ayumi reached out to inspect the back of the paper.

Mitsuhiko eyed Genta warily. "I don't suppose you're planning to use the 'wash your face while lying down' hint, are you? That idea belongs to Haibara-san!" Meaning, the treasure hunt code that Ai had helped Doctor Agasa create that stumped even Conan for a long time.

"Of course not!" Genta cried indignantly, his pride injured. "What I mean is that you need to look behind, but not the real behind, to find the real behind—I mean, meaning..."

Baffled, the other two stared at the stammering Genta trying to put everything into words.

"I think he's trying to say that you should look beyond what you see," Conan said, coming up to the table, and bent over the piece of paper, ignoring Genta's glee from being understood.

"Have you found the artistic meaning, Conan-kun?" Ayumi asked.

The detective looked up, somewhat aghast. "Artistic?"

They nodded.

Eye twitching, Conan stared down at the paper again. Four crookedly drawn circles, each about one centimeter in diameter, one at each corner of the rectangular paper but none touching the edges. How was it artistic? "Ah! That must be it!" He snapped his finger and looked up, making two of them beam and alarming the other. "Circles are the most elegant and extraordinary shapes. One of the most important constants, pi, comes from circles..." And on he went, telling the three seven-year-olds all he could think of about circles until he finally caught on to the blankness on their faces. He cleared his throat. "I got it wrong, didn't I?"

Genta nodded slowly.

Ayumi recovered first. "Ai-chan!" she called out when she spotted the strawberry blonde entering the classroom, back from wherever she'd been. "Come here!" Beckoning with her hand, Ayumi jumped out of her seat, hurried over to Ai, and dragged the strawberry blonde over to the table. Still clutching onto Ai's arm, Ayumi picked up the piece of paper, handed it to Ai, and inspected it with her.

"We're supposed to find some sort of artistic meaning in it," Conan explained, gritting out the word "artistic," and folded his arms, ready to tackle Ai if she succeeded in what he'd failed.

"I'm not an artistic person," Ai said plainly and tossed the paper onto the table, thus saving herself from the embarrassment that would've come if she decided to give an answer, right or wrong.

Whining, Ayumi attached herself completely to Ai's arm, threatening to cry if Ai just walked away like that. But before Ai could think of a response, Ayumi asked, teary-eyed, "You really don't want to help us?"

Mitsuhiko and Genta exchanged a look.

"I," Ai struggled with a reply but said at last, "can't help."

Conan smirked, which was what Ai'd been trying to avoid causing.

Letting go of Ai's arm abruptly, Ayumi turned back to the table and cried out, "Even Ai-chan doesn't know! Genta-kun, you probably don't know the answer yourself!"

"Of course I do!"

"Then tell us!"

The shouting began to attract the other classmates' attention, and people slowly surrounded the table to offer their opinions: cookies, light bulbs, bottle caps, CDs, buttons, a car looked from below... Ai and Conan listened, in awe, to the variety of objects and ideas presented. Surely, someone must've hit the right answer.

"It's an elephant lying on its back with its legs stretched out! The circles are the bottoms of its feet!" Genta yelled, giving in to the squabbling and pushing.

A split second of silence passed before there was another burst of talk. Some saying that the elephant was floating upside-down in the water, some saying that they'd known it all along...

"So that's the artistic meaning, eh?" Conan said wryly. "I would've never guessed."

Ai made no comment.

"Let's go outside." Conan took Ai's hand and led her out the building where they took a seat on the stairs near the doors, watching the other kids running around chasing each other and playing in the playground.

"You should learn to cherish times like that," Ai said, mimicking his exasperated face for effects of mockery. "You'll probably be going there"—she waved vaguely in the direction of Teitan High School—"some time next week."

The shrunken detective stared at Ai as if she'd just grown another head. "The antidote? But, but... the... n-next week!"

"Given that there will be no interruptions," Ai amended.

"Right, that. But I thought you needed a lot of time to do tests! A-and—"

"Look. The tests are no good if the antidote works because then you'd be tracking the health condition of a mouse for a duration equivalent of its lifetime. If the mice don't die within twenty-four hours, I'll give you the antidote and it'll be up to you. Don't forget that you have everything to say 'no.' Of course, I could extend the testing period to two weeks—"

"I trust you," Conan said softly but firmly, knowing where Ai was bringing the subject.

Something inside Ai settled. She smiled but turned it into a smirk. "The data belongs to Catherine Choi, though."

"Now that is very uncool. Why don't you redo everything, Ai?" he said with comic seriousness, not comprehending why he was treating this as a joke. Maybe it was because of Choi's genuine tone she'd used to proclaim that she was a doctor, but when did that happen?

"Twenty-four hours or two weeks?"

"What? Oh!" Conan paused and considered. There was what happened with Galatea, and there was the urgency to change back. "Twenty-four hours," he said at last, suddenly realizing how it might've sounded to Ai. But when he looked at her, he saw only consent. Maybe he was thinking too much. Head feeling heavy, he pressed his palm against his forehead and shut his eyes. Being a detective, he thought about cases all the time, but he was starting to discover that this Organization case was draining his energy faster than all the others did together. Funny. It wasn't like this before.

"You okay? Is it the cold?" Ai asked and brushed away his hand with hers to feel the temperature of his forehead. "No fever..."

"I'm fine," Conan reassured at the same time the bell rang. The kids in the playground began racing into the school building. "Really."

-x-

"Are you sure you're fine?" Ai asked as they stepped out of the school gate after school. The Detective Boys were walking in front of them, chatting. "Since then, you've been looking very tired."

"Oddly enough, you seem to be doing fine," Conan remarked dryly. "After all that, I mean."

"I know. Hey, don't tell me you had a bad night."

"No, I did not! I just—have been thinking a lot, like you!" He searched a while for a bag of tissue and blew his nose.

"You see?"

"It's an allergy, not a cold."

"Of what? Dying leaves?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Is it just so humiliating to admit you've caught a cold?"

"It's not 'humiliating.' It's 'I do not have a cold'! I don't even have a sore throat, for crying out loud!" Which was true.

"You're fighting again," Ayumi observed quietly. It wasn't until then that Ai and Conan realized the Detective Boys had been staring at them for a while.

"Tell him," Ai pointed at Conan and addressed the three kids before her, "what he must do when he catches a cold."

"Eat medicine."

"Drink lots of water."

"And get enough rest."

"Bingo. You," Ai turned to Conan and ordered, "will perform the above said actions without delay when we get home." She folded her arms and shot Conan a look that clearly said, End of discussion. Do not get sick.

Conan grumbled under his breath.

"'When _we_ get home'?" Mitsuhiko asked, confused.

The two shrunken adults looked at the three kids. Both of them had expected that something like this would come up some day, so it might as well be now. Conan gave Ai's hand a light squeeze that meant play along.

"Remember hakase's friend from yesterday?" Conan began smoothly while Ai did her best to smile. "It turned out that they and a few other friends decided to go on a trip together. So hakase won't be back until much later."

"He's going on a trip again?" Genta cried out, displeased. "Where is he going this time?"

"Uh, Hokkaido." Conan made that up on the spot. "They left this morning."

"Hokkaido... That's far—wait. Haibara-san's living by herself?" Mitsuhiko asked, somewhat terrified.

"No. I'm staying with her. Ran-neechan agreed." Conan cringed slightly at this thought. And the next thought. And hoped that the Detective Boys would keep their mouths shut after today. Which was unlikely. "We'll be fine. Shinichi-niichan is taking care of us anyway."

"Shinichi-niichan? Who's that?" Genta asked.

"He's the guy who lives in the haunted house next to hakase's house," Mitsuhiko said.

"Oh, I remember him," Genta said thoughtfully. "He was really friendly. Too friendly that it's scary. And that's suspicious. Maybe we should go do some investigation on him or something."

"Hey!" Conan yelled but realized his mistake. "I mean, we're going down this road, and you're going down that one, right? So see you tomorrow at school and go home straight away, okay?"

There was some hesitation, but they finally complied and left, chatting amongst themselves.

"Go home, huh? I can't believe it slipped out," Ai said softly.

Conan tugged Ai's hand and tightened his grip as they walked down the street in silence. He was well aware that Ai wasn't berating herself on the slip of the word that caused all the trouble to subdue the three children's curiosity. He knew it was difficult for her to return—home. He thought about what to say, but Ai beat him to it.

"You can prove his innocence, can't you?" Ai asked.

Conan stopped and turned to look at Ai. After a minute of silence, which was beginning to make Ai anxious, he asked, "Is that why you want me to change back to Shinichi?"

There was a pause. "I don't know what will happen if you take the antidote while you're ill. It may kill you. So be considerate. It's very rude if you make my creation fail just because you caught a dumb cold."

Conan blinked at the odd response, understanding why she didn't want him sick but not understanding why she'd avoid his question. Might as well change the subject altogether. "What? So you weren't concerned about my well-being at all? I'm sad." He took her hand again and resumed walking. "And I do not have a cold!"

"If you want to die, die under someone else's hands. Not mine, thank you very much."

"Ah, but to be killed by someone I love is a sort of honor, I suppose."

Ai gapped at the detective. "I see the cold has knocked the Kudo Common Sense out of you."

Conan grinned, though somewhat defeated by Ai's insisting that he was sick. "So what am I now?"

"If I knew what you were, wouldn't that make me you?"

"Do you ever get tired of being indirect?" Conan demanded. But before Ai could give a reply, he asked, returning to his playful tone, "What are you, then?"

Ai seemed taken aback and yet pleased by the question. "Someone with a right hand and a left hand. It's easier to work with two hands than with one."

Conan stared at her, bewildered. "Weren't you born with two hands—a right and a left?"

"Yes. And so were you." Ai smiled. "You should really learn how to use to two of them together, instead of relying on one too much."

"Would it be very rude if I didn't?" Conan asked, as a challenge, while still trying to figure out what Ai meant.

"It's very rude to yourself," Ai said simply.

-x-

Holding a glass of warm water in one hand, Ai pointed to the bed, revealed the medicine tablet in her other hand, and handed both things to Conan, who heaved a loud sigh and knew it pointless to argue. He almost wanted to say, Yes, mom. And, well, who knew? Maybe the medicine could relieve the headaches he'd been getting on and off for the day.

"You sleep. I'll be in the lab." Ai took the empty glass from Conan and turned her heels to leave.

"Need help? With the research, I mean."

"I said sleep."

"All right. Sheesh. Sle-e-e-ep." He rolled his eyes, ignoring Ai's dark glare. After kicking off his slippers, tossing his sweater onto a nearby chair, and placing his glasses on the small table, he flopped onto the bed, relieved that Ai didn't fuss any further. He must've been more tired than he thought, for he was fast asleep when Ai came back from the kitchen to check on him. She sat for a while, watching him in silence, before she decided it was time to begin the work in the lab.

-x-

He was better the next day. The stuffy nose was still there, but not as bad, and he didn't look as tired. Ai gave credits to the medicine, while Conan remained skeptical. He thought it was because of the good night sleep, semi-offending Ai when he told her, but was then pressed to speak of the dreams that—kindly, she added—disrupted his sleep the previous night.

School went well. Relatively. Wanting to meet Shinichi-niichan after school, the Detective Boys followed Conan and Ai stubbornly and hung out at Doctor Agasa's house for some time. It took some effort, but they finally accepted Conan's explanation as to how a very busy detective could take care of the two of them without showing up often. Even so, they requested that they watched one episode of Kamen Yaiba together before leaving. But one episode turned into two, into four...

"Sometimes, I really think they're up to something," Conan sighed as he shut the door after seeing the kids off and joined Ai in the corridor.

"Will you ever tell them the truth? Of anything?" Ai asked, walking into the kitchen, ready to prepare dinner.

Conan leaned his shoulder against the kitchen counter, hands in pockets, and pondered for a moment. He shrugged. "I don't know. But I have a feeling that they'll find out one way or another."

Outside, the Detective Boys were walking slowly away from Doctor Agasa's house. Feeling as if she'd stolen something, Ayumi glanced down at the mini-transceiver badge in her hand and gazed back at the house. She had stolen something: information that she and Mitsuhiko and Genta did not comprehend yet.

It was her badge, and she'd slid it into Ai's coat pocket the day before. It'd been there since the discussion of the picture with artistic meaning, until she retrieved it during the showing of first episode of Yaiba. And yes, the Detective Boys heard most of the conversations that the two mini-adults had when Ai was wearing her coat and when they weren't in sight. If it weren't because of Ayumi's guilt eating her, they would've heard more. From a badge originally meant to double-check Conan and Ai's relationship. If only they'd stuck with the first plan of direct confrontation... Ayumi was close to tears, and she didn't know why.

-x-

Thursday came and went, quieter than usual. The three of them had something on their minds today, Conan thought, breaking away from his musings about his right and left hand. He wondered what. He hadn't told them that he'd be "moving" soon, so that couldn't be it. Conan sat up suddenly on the couch he'd been lying on for more than an hour. Outside was dark now, and so was the room, since he hadn't bothered to switch on the lights. It was just more comfortable to lie in the dark and think. He jumped off the couch and rushed down the stairs.

"We have a problem!" he shouted as he burst into the lab. Feet skidding to a halt, he stood, blinking amidst the flood of lights, and knew he was in deep trouble when he heard the sound of breaking glass. The sound of a breaking beaker filled with some blue liquid to be exact, along with a couple test tubes, all of which knocked over by Ai's hand and elbow when she jumped at the sudden, loud intrusion.

"Yes. I see we have a problem," Ai said in a voice as dry as the long-fallen autumn leaves and indicated the broken glass and spilt chemicals on the floor. Her murderous glare behind her safety glasses made Conan wish he were somewhere else.

"I'm sorry. I'll help clean up," Conan said quickly and hurried forward.

The chemist slapped the detective's hands when he crouched down to collect the glass pieces. "Get some paper towels or something before you lose your hands, idiot!"

Wincing from the pain on the back of his hands, Conan made a mental note never to burst into the lab like that ever again. He never knew that Ai could slap anything that hard when she was mad. He grabbed a handful of paper towels and began picking up glass pieces while Ai cleaned up the spilt liquid. "Okay. So the problem is who will take care of the paper work needed to transfer me out of school when I change back. It was hakase before, but..."

"That's one of the reasons we need him back, moron." Ai shot Conan an angry look and went back to her task.

"You see, that's where you contradict yourself." Conan looked up briefly at Ai, who kept her head lowered as if she hadn't heard. "You wanted me to take the antidote before I can try to get hakase back—"

"I said nothing of the kind," Ai interrupted, her words still strained and full of grudge but not as harsh as before. She looked up, meeting his eyes, and they both forgot the work at hand for a short moment.

"Right. You didn't," Conan said with a sheepish grin and finished collecting the last of the visible glass pieces. He stood up and discarded the broken glass and the paper towels into the trashcan. Staring blankly at the wall in front of him, he said quietly, "I guess I made the connection because I didn't think that I'd be able to do it as Edogawa Conan. If I didn't think so then..."

"You wouldn't think so now," Ai finished for Conan and came up to dispose of her large heap of paper towels. "You'd always been confident in your ability to accomplish impossible tasks, you know."

Conan clenched his fists. "Hakase needs Kudo Shinichi, not some kid. Damn the FBI." He sighed. "I guess I could call my mom or something, but..." A string of incomprehensible mutters followed. Then silence. "I'll leave now." He turned to the door. "Sorry that I was such a pain in the ass. It won't happen again."

"Hey," Ai called out softly when Conan was at the door. He looked back, eyes inquiring. "It gets kind of lonely down here and it's hard to work on this alone. I know you'll only make things worse if you try to help, but..."

"Miss me already?" Conan asked with a smirk, and Ai looked away with a blush. "But this room is stuffy. I like it better up there."

Ai looked at Conan, but her eyes slipped away with disappointment. "Oh. Okay."

"I can't believe you fell for it!" Conan cried out all of the sudden, close to laughing. Ai looked up, puzzled. "And I thought your signature was 'just kidding'!" He smiled. "It's really quiet up there. Too quiet." And it was hard to wait on this alone, upstairs. Guess I know how Ran feels all the time now, he added in his mind ironically. "As long as you don't slap my hands again, I'll stay."

Ai beamed. Then she remembered. "I hit your hands pretty hard, didn't I?"

Conan nodded without thinking, but as if suddenly whacked on the head, he exclaimed, "Pretty hard? I think not, woman! It was extremely hard!"

Smiling sympathetically, Ai apologized continuously but decided later on that it was his fault anyway and he got what he deserved.

So until the moment Ai held up the antidote in her palm, Conan was in the lab whenever Ai was there, being a good companion. Occasionally, Ai asked him to help clean up some glassware, but most of the time, he sat quietly on the couch. Sometimes he just watched her, sometimes he brought a book to read, sometimes he slept... When Ai looked tired, he told her to stop and either chatted with her or asked her to take a nap. He prevented Ai from overworking, but he was impressed by how much the chemist could do without collapsing. And grateful as she was for the pleasant interruptions, Ai still thought Conan underestimated her and complained that she could've finished the antidote by Sunday when she gave him the antidote on Tuesday evening.

-x-

But before Tuesday.

Conan randomly decided that he should try plan B, which he came up with during art class, before plan A, which was to ask for his parents' aid. He'd call Jodie-sensei to at least inquire about hakase's situation and, well, wing anything that came up unexpected. Who knew? Things might work out after all without the need to involve his parents. Edogawa Conan equals Kudo Shinichi. Besides, Jodie-sensei was nice, and easy to contact. Unlike Akai Shuichi or James Black, whom Conan would need all the luck to bump into on the streets for no good reason. People like them, Conan snorted in his mind, are never around when you need them.

True, he was expecting no cooperation from Jodie-sensei, but to not pick up the phone altogether? He called four times on Friday night, leaving a message on the last one, and almost every hour on Saturday. At first, he thought she might not be home for whatever reason, but then he began to suspect that she was ignoring his calls. Or maybe the FBI had decided to move to some other hideout. If the boss of the Organization was moving, there was no reason the FBI shouldn't either.

Swearing violently under his breath, he slammed the receiver back in place at 10 p.m., Saturday. That was last call he was going to make to Saintemillion.

"And that is why you should never try plan B before plan A," Ai announced gracefully, looking up from her desk.

Conan picked up the phone again.

"Still trying to call the FBI?" asked Ai, eyebrows raised. "You are pretty persistent."

"No. This one is to LA." He punched in a long string of numbers, pressing the buttons with more force than necessary, and glanced at his watch. "What is it? 6 a.m. in California? What the heck. It's not like I care." He tapped his feet with impatience as he waited for someone to answer the phone. And when that happened, he said flatly, "Mom, get on the next plane to Tokyo."

Almost rolling her eyes, Ai shook her head and watched in amusement.

"Yes. And I want you to get on the next plane to Tokyo. ... Get on the next plane to Tokyo," Conan repeated, exasperated. "I'll explain when you get here. ... Just—I'll explain when you get here! ... Just come! Okay? It's important! ... People's lives are at stake! ... Good!" He hung up and groaned.

"Calm down," Ai said with a smile and went back to her work. "They're your parents."

-x-

Yusaku and Yukiko arrived in Beika Sunday night, and Conan went back to his house to meet them. Ai shook her head when he asked her if she wanted to come along, with the excuse that she had a (self-imposed) deadline to meet.

She sat in the lab, staring emptily at the work before her. There was nothing on her mind; she sat, simply enjoying the rare calmness.

Another hour of work and the antidote would be done, but Ai didn't feel like continuing. Not now.

"You didn't forget your own antidote, right?" he'd asked suddenly one afternoon.

"You ask me that now?"

"Did you?"

"I'll make it later."

"Why didn't you make them together? No. Why don't you make more? They're the same, aren't they?"

"Let me ask you this: Is life simple?"

"I don't understand."

"And I don't want to explain."

There'd been a pause. "But you will make yourself an antidote, right?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know what to think!"

"Then find out."

He'd fallen silent after that.

Ai sat in silence, musing over the many things she wanted to tell Conan. She wanted to tell him how grateful she was for him to understand and forgive her. She wanted to tell him how comforted she felt when he lit a candle in the dark and became her left hand. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him and how much she wanted him to share some of his burden. But most of all, she wanted to tell him that maybe taking the antidote wasn't the best idea.

To him, the antidote would undo all that APTX-4869 had forcefully done to him. Of course, he knew there'd be limits. He said it himself, how he wouldn't be able to walk away and pretend part of him never existed. But a slim margin of error was to be expected of everything. Even if his world was black and white. He might even see it as one of his cases—he was the detective and Time was the criminal. Time stole something from him, and he wanted it back. It was just. It was fair. And it only correcting Time.

He saw no harm.

Rising from her chair, Ai took one last glance at the work she'd complete Monday evening and went upstairs.

Time was the defendant. And Time was the judge.

-x-

"You're transferring?" Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta yelled, making Conan cringe. "To where?"

"America, where my parents are." Compared to the yell, his respond was a whisper. "H-hey, Ayumi-chan, don't cry!"

But the little girl couldn't stop. Crying, she flung herself onto Conan and softly begged him to stay.

Leaning against the doorpost of the classroom, Ai watched as the shrunken detective tried to comfort Ayumi and answer further questions from Mitsuhiko and Genta at the same time.

Would he come tomorrow since his flight was midnight? Yes, there was a chance, but not high. (The antidote was done, and twenty-four hours testing period would be over that evening. Unless something happened to the mice...) Would he come back to visit? Yes, he might, but he wouldn't promise anything. Why not? Because the future was full of uncertainty. Would he call? Yes, if they wanted him to. Could they hold a farewell party for him? Maybe not, because he had a lot of things to pack. How could he make Ayumi-chan cry? Uh...

Ai didn't know what Conan had said to his parents. He didn't mention, and she didn't ask. He'd stayed at his house for over three hours, and Ai could pretty much guess what had been explained and why it'd taken so long. However, it'd seemed to go well. And he was definitely excited about the antidote.

If only his parents would let him stay, Ai heard the three of them saying and found herself wishing almost the same thing. If only she'd made a mistake somewhere in the mixing, if only the idea of an antidote existing was down-to-earth ridiculous.

They'd find out at 7:48 p.m. And it'd be a success.

-x-

Conan gulped as he looked at the antidote held up in Ai's palm. If it were weeks before, he'd have snatched it away and cried Hallelujah. Now, what were racing through his mind were the hundreds of things that could go wrong. Not just through his, through Ai's as well, even though she'd previously wished that things would go wrong...for the mice. Now, Ai began wishing that she could've double-checked this, recalculated that...

What the hell, Conan thought as he took the capsule in his hand. Grab his clothes, fill a glass of water, swallow the antidote, and just live or die. He pulled Ai into a quick hug, planted a small kiss on her lips, and went into the bathroom.

After the door clicked shut, Ai found herself trembling and wanted more than anything to leave. She repeated to herself, Do not run away, do not run away. In the end, she went upstairs and sat on her bed, where she deemed to be farthest away from the bathroom. She covered her ears, shut her eyes, and waited.

It seemed forever. When she finally got tired of being so tense, she slowly moved her hands away from her ears and opened her eyes. She heard someone calling her name. It was her imagination. She saw someone coming up the stairs, smiling and waving at her. It was her imagination. She was sleep-deprived. Hallucinations were possible. It wasn't until he lifted her off the ground and swung her around, blabbing continuously about how great she was, how great it was, how great the world was, that she believe it was all real.

Steadying herself from the swing, which she later thought was the worst feeling ever, she watched with a small smile at Kudo Shinichi, who was kicking and jumping and dancing and... singing? Well, singing that soccer song: O—lay—olay-olay-olay. "I'll be right back!" she heard him shout and knew he was off to the Kudo residence.

Funny, she thought, a year versus a week and the week wins. Funny.

-x-

(TBC)


	17. God's Will

**CH 17 - God's Will**

-x-

That Shinichi was back, perhaps for good this time, Ran thanked God. That Sonoko was the most exhilarated of them all, Ran silently cursed.

On the outside, Ran acted no different from before—she still called Shinichi a jerk, a deduction freak, and so on, along with loads of complaints made for good measure. On the inside, Ran wished Conan-kun hadn't moved to Agasa-hakase's house. If only she could see the real Shinichi and the real Conan-kun together one more time, she'd be able to let go of her doubts and fears and laugh, wholeheartedly, with the rest of her class.

But this time was different. Both Ran and Shinichi knew, and both were aware of each other's smiling face but unsmiling eyes. It was inevitable that, when their classmates were no longer mobbing them, Shinichi would pull Ran aside to tell her that they needed to talk. Would meeting in the café below the Detective Agency after school do? Yes, it would.

"Be careful of what you do from now on," Ai had warned him that morning. In response, he'd tried to say something funny to lighten up the atmosphere, but Ai had shot him a dark glare. "Murphy's Law holds—anything that will go wrong, will. I don't want you to become the man who, in the joke, jumped off the Empire State Building and shouted 'so far so good, so far so good' all the way down. It's not funny."

It was dangerous, even if Kudo Shinichi's name wasn't in the Organization's database anymore, because that was what he and Ai would like to believe. The Organization was capable of anything. One moment you let your guard down, and it'd be sayonara.

Whether he should tell Ran everything or not, he'd spent much time considering, weighing the advantages and disadvantages of each option. Ai's lack of opinion—voiced opinion—had made him think more than he already had or needed, but there was no turning back now. The coffee was served.

-x-

Stirring her ice coffee mindlessly and sipping it occasionally, Ran listened to Shinichi's rant on the usual things such as Sherlock Holmes. However, she was the one who brought up the subject this time, after she'd told him about school, saying that she'd like to hear more about Holmes. They were like two old friends who hadn't met up for years, Shinichi thought with a pang of sadness as he talked, unable to chat as freely and at ease as they had before but disliked the awkward moments of silence following each short conversation.

"But enough about Holmes," Shinichi said after taking a sip of his coffee. "How's your life been?"

Ran shrugged with a smile. "Same old, same old."

"Any interesting cases lately?"

Ran shrugged again and focused on stirring her coffee. It was interesting how the cream mixed with the coffee and then the two separated like oil and water when the stirring stopped. Something to do with density, for sure. "None around me. I stayed home these days, so I have no idea what cases Dad's been working on. But he doesn't seem to be doing so well. Ever since Conan-kun left, you know." She let go of the straw, which circled the glass several rounds before coming to a halt, folded her arms on the table, and looked up. This was it. "I've told you, haven't I? That I once thought you and Conan-kun were the same person..."

But Shinichi didn't seem to hear her as his cell phone started ringing at the same time. It was a call from hakase's house. Must be Ai.

"Hello," he answered the phone while Ran looked down and fiddled with her skirt. "Who!" Ran and several other people sitting nearby looked up. "What did he say? But I—what did you say? Oh. Right. When is he going to speak to me? Wait a minute. Now?" He looked out the window, scanning the streets. "Oh, I see. I know, I know." He flashed a sympathetic smile even though Ai couldn't see it. "Hey! Where am I supposed to find him? Oh. Okay. See you, then. Bye." After hanging up and putting away his cell phone, he looked at Ran, his eyes beaming and more alive than before. As if just remembering, he said quickly, "I'm sorry. What were you saying just now?"

Ran shook her head and tried her best to smile. "That call is about your Case with a capital C, right?"

Capital C? Shinichi blinked. It took him half a minute or so to realize what Ran was talking about. Then laughing nervously and scratching the back of his head, he answered, "Yeah, it's related."

Silence.

"Don't you have to go?"

"To where?"

"To the Case!"

"Oh, no. I don't have to meet up with him until I'm—later." Shinichi smiled.

Silence again.

"So. When exactly do you have to go?"

"L-later."

"How much later?"

"However much is necessary. I guess."

Ran rolled her eyes and sighed. "Why are you always so vague? It's always 'I'll be back soon,' but you never say how soon—three days, three months, three years? Then it's always 'I'm working on a case,' but what case? And you're never on the newspaper anymore. What's going on?" Ran paused and stared, partly inquiring and partly concerned, at Shinichi's downcast face. Her expression hardened as she leaned forward to ask in a low voice, "Who. Is. Edogawa Conan?"

This time, the silence was much longer than those previously—Shinichi trying to think but drawing blank, and Ran waiting patiently, knowing that she could wait it out. For once. If Shinichi was going to excuse himself for the case and leave, like always, Ran even made up her mind to beat the answer out of him with no mercy.

"Me," he croaked finally.

"I couldn't hear you." It was impossible to tell whether she was honest or not.

"I. Am. Him," he said aloud but not loud enough to arouse the attention of the people in the surroundings and looked into her eyes. "Ran."

"Now look, Shinichi." Ran leaned back abruptly and waved her hands in frustration as she continued, "When I ask who Conan-kun is, I'm not accusing you of anything. I just want to know who he is. So who is he? Tell me the truth."

"I just told you the truth," Shinichi responded, dumbfounded.

"That you're Conan-kun?"

"Yeah."

Ran laughed, as if she'd just heard something that was funny but yet offending, maybe even insulting to her, at the same time. "You're not him." The smile on her face was almost daunting. "Conan-kun is seven years old, he's short, he wears glasses, he's... he's smarter than you. A-and nicer. More considerate. And just—better than you. Not you."

"Ran-neechan." It was a different voice, deeper, but it was the same tone. Same as a concerned Conan's tone. Shinichi looked away as Ran's smile faded.

Blinking rapidly, Ran looked away for a moment before taking in a deep breath and sat up. The two pairs of eyes met. "Your mother was an actress, Shinichi," Ran said softly, never expecting that she'd use her idol against her childhood friend, her love.

"Why would I lie to you?"

"Because you always did!" Ran yelled, tears streaming, ignoring the glances from and mutters among other people. "Why would you lie to me? Yes. Why? I'd like to know. I know you love being a detective, and I respect your ambition. But why can't you take care of yourself? And why can't you trust me that I'd protect you instead of putting you in harm?"

"That's not why I didn't tell you—"

"I don't care why you didn't tell me! Does it matter? You lied and—"

"I didn't want to put you in danger and I didn't want you to worry!" Shinichi shouted over Ran's words, becoming aware that there was no more need to explain to Ran about APTX-4869, about the Organization, about everything...

"I don't care!" Ran practically screamed to shut Shinichi up. After calming herself down and drying her tears, she said in a low voice, "Reasons and excuses are different, I know. But they can't buy you forgiveness, Shinichi. I'm sorry."

"I'm not asking for forgiveness," Shinichi said quietly and looked at Ran, whose tears were beginning to swirl in her eyes again. "I just wish that you'd understand. Understand, not accept."

"I can't understand. I don't understand. I..."

"Will you try to understand, then?"

Sobbing quietly, Ran sat without looking at Shinichi. Few minutes passed, and she looked up, more in control of herself. "Are you out of danger now?" she asked gently.

"No. So keep quiet, okay?"

"Why? Why are you telling me everything now?"

He wanted to say, Because I promised. But for some reason, the words "I don't know" came out instead.

They sat in silence for a while, both submerged in their own thoughts. The couple at the next table paid their bill and left.

"Shinichi hasn't changed," Ran remarked with a smile, causing the detective to look up in surprise. "Still and always taking up all the burdens by himself." Sighing, she looked up. There was no always. Never. She nearly laughed when she suddenly remembered someone who said Never say never. "Who changed you?" _Who is the God that I thanked this morning?_

Staring off into a distance, Shinichi was dazed, realizing something.

"Is it Ai-chan?" Ran asked, peering into Shinichi's face.

"Huh? Yeah. What about her?"

There was a pause. Ran opened her mouth several times to ask something, but she never managed to get the words out. "Who is she?" she asked at last but added immediately, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

Shinichi frowned. "Ran, stop saying sorry. I owe you too much already. I should be the one saying it. Sorry. I'm sorry." For the lies and everything. "I'm sorry." For not loving you. "I'm sorry... I think I should go now." He stood to leave, and Ran didn't stop him as she'd thought she would. He paid his bill, exited the café, and glanced back at Ran through the large window.

Triple apologies. Did she know? Did it matter? She was crying.

Turning away, he heaved a sigh and saw Shuichi waiting across the street. Hopefully, things would go better with the FBI than it did with the Angel.

Hopefully.

-x-

"Here's what you wanted," Shuichi said and held out a black laptop case for Shinichi to take. There was a newspaper folded under his other arm.

"Oh." Shinichi blinked in surprise and took the case in his hands. No Hello, how's it going. All business right away. "Thank you." He opened the case and peeked inside. It was a black IBM ThinkPad. "Did it come with this case?" he asked as he examined the case, which was of a brand he hadn't heard of. IBM laptop cases were huge, but this one was just nice.

"We bought the case. It didn't have one."

"I see." He pointed at the laptop before zipping the case and asked, "This is Choi's laptop, right?"

The FBI agent nodded and puffed on his cigarette.

"So you're just giving it to me? On the streets?" Shinichi asked, narrowing his eyes with suspicion.

Shuichi shrugged. "There's nothing useful in it, I have to warn you."

"Do you want it back anytime?"

"Whenever you're done."

Eyebrows arched, Shinichi shot a questioning look at the agent and stared at the case in his hands as if he didn't know what to do with it. Gripping the case by its handles, he lowered his arms to his side and looked up. "Jodie-sensei called you?"

There was a pause before Shuichi replied, "Yes."

"What's she been up to these days?" asked Shinichi, referring to the numerous unanswered phone calls he'd made to Jodie days ago. "Why didn't she respond the call herself?"

"She's busy," Shuichi said simply.

His detective's guts told him that Shuichi was lying, and with the FBI, it was hard to tell. They expertise in lying, with the experiences of going undercover and all. Though in truth, he wasn't really concerned about what the FBI was doing. Hey, if they didn't want him to "interfere," he wouldn't. Do it in the way they were expecting. But right now, he had something more important at hand. "About Agasa-hakase. I'm not saying that he's innocent, but I'd like to partake in the investigation." _To prove that he is innocent. If possible. _

"There's no need." Shuichi looked directly into the detective's eyes for the first time since the beginning of the conversation.

Shinichi frowned. "Why not?" Had they already gathered all the evidences—solid evidences—for either side?

"Because there is no need to," Shuichi said, pronouncing every syllable for emphasis, still not taking his eyes off the teenage detective.

It sounded like an order meant for dismissal, but Shinichi realized it wasn't that Shuichi didn't want to tell him because it was none of his business; Shuichi didn't want to tell him because it had everything to do with him.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand," said Shinichi, feeling his heart rate increasing and breath becoming shallow, also keeping his eyes on the other's face.

Shuichi looked away and said softly, "He died in a car accident."

For a few seconds, Shinichi froze. "He what?" he asked, aghast.

There was no answer. There was no need to, nor was it expected. The outburst was expected, however.

"How the hell did that happen?" Shinichi yelled, attracting the attention of passersby but none of them dumb enough to stand and watch.

Silently, Shuichi handed to Shinichi the newspaper, which the latter snatched over. It was a newspaper from about a week ago. It wasn't headline news, but yes, he remembered reading about it—the car accident in front of the U.S. Embassy. At that time, he didn't give it a second thought. Why didn't he? Why didn't the news mention names? And Ai. What was he going to tell Ai?

"What were your goddamned agents doing?" Shinichi demanded. "They were the ones driving the car, weren't they?"

"Accidents happen," Shuichi said quietly.

"Bullshit! They made a fatal mistake, and now we can't even give hakase a chance!"

The FBI agent glared at Shinichi. "I'll tell you now—it wasn't an accident. Who wanted who dead, I'm sure you're clear on it."

Shinichi's eyes widened due to shock and disgust. "Are you saying that this... accident is sufficient proof that hakase was one of them? Go to Hell first! I want to see hakase. Now!"

"We can't do that." Meaning that the FBI didn't have the ability to, but Shinichi took it as that the FBI didn't want to.

"Yes, you can," Shinichi said darkly. "You have a so-called great Witness Protection Program. I don't know what your plan is, but I know he's alive!"

"He isn't."

"What do you mean 'he isn't'? What am I supposed to tell Ai? I don't want to see her hurt again!"

Shuichi shut his eyes and furrowed his brows out of pain and frustration. "Some mistakes just can't be corrected. Shouldn't you know, Kudo?" He opened his eyes and turned to walk down the street, leaving behind a stunned detective.

What went through the minds of the two who'd just met after that statement was different. Shinichi was thinking of all the cases that he'd solved, the many regrets of the criminals, and accepted Shuichi's statement as a sort of apology on part of the FBI for the failing and the helplessness. On the other hand, Shuichi's mind was on Akemi. If only he'd chosen a different task, if only he'd turned around and met Shiho first, then he wouldn't have fallen in love, wouldn't have asked for her sister, wouldn't have finalized the destruction of a family because of who he was...

Emotions. Shiho's coldness and cynicism would've contained them, and he would've known what he was doing, unlike Akemi's bubbly nature that had set them free. Cost them all.

-x-

After wandering the streets for half an hour or so, pondering what to do, Shinichi arrived at the doorsteps of Doctor Agasa's house. Even though the two of them had agreed that he'd go back to his house to live from now on since it was next door anyway, he knew he'd be staying over for a while now. Hesitantly, he rang the doorbell.

"What are you doing here?" Ai asked as she unhooked the chain on the door and held the door open for him to enter to house. "If you're here for food, it's too late."

Closing the door behind him, Shinichi stared at the floor and swallowed hard, not sure how he should break the news to her, or even if he should do it. But here he was, it was what he came here for, and the longer he kept the news from her, the more dreams—nightmares —would occur. "Ai," he began in a shaky, coarse whisper.

Ever since the door opened, Ai had kept her eyes on Shinichi's miserable-looking face, searching for a hint that would explain what she was seeing and why. Their eyes met, and something told Ai to prepare for the worst, whatever the worst might be. And many possibilities streamed through her mind.

"Hakase," Shinichi continued, in an almost breathless voice. "Hakase... He... I'm sorry." How should he put this? "He... won't be able to... come back... anymore. I'm sorry." He shut his eyes for a brief moment and reopened them to take in Ai's reaction. Really, he didn't want to say anymore than that. He was expecting a horrified expression, shocked gaze, but all he saw was the same blank face looking up at him, searching for answers. Waiting for elaboration. Didn't she understand?

There was broken glass inside of her, and layers of shield outside. It was amazing how she was still in one piece after all these years, all those experiences. Unlike Ran, who had (an equally amazing) ability to close out painful memories. Or maybe Ai truly didn't understand how damaging certain point of views could be, given the same events. She wasn't dumb, so it could be a natural protection. A different kind, but still there.

It was gone—the flicker of recognition—before Shinichi could feel relieved from the burden of saying the words. Ai's gaze was focused elsewhere, as if she was reconsidering or remembering something. Shinichi stood in silence, waiting for a sign of some sort.

Ai's face saddened, and she looked up. "Dead?"

Shinichi crouched down and nodded, looking into Ai's eyes, the pair of eyes that'd probably lost, a long time ago, the shine that normal teenagers would have. Would they become duller now? Just when they were gaining life?

"How?" Ai asked with a technical tone that threw Shinichi off balance. It was as if she was inquiring how an experiment went wrong, even though her eyes were still sad.

"Car accident."

This time Ai was thrown off balance. The shock was clear. Then the disbelief and bafflement. But these were all gone when they were replaced by understanding, which was replaced by the lack of expression. "Them."

"No," Shinichi almost shouted. "It was an accident."

He was about to say more about things such as accidents happened, but Ai cut him off. "Oh," she said softly, as if she just had an out-of-expectation revelation on something and the answer was disappointing to her. "He's dead."

Maybe it just sank in to her, Shinichi thought and reached out to pull Ai into his arms to comfort her. But she jumped, causing him to withdraw his hands, and she looked scared for some reason.

"I'm fine," she reassured, sounding, indeed, very sure of herself. "You should go. I still have things to do." She turned her heels.

"No, I'm staying," Shinichi said, even though he was aware that Ai probably wanted to grieve alone and not be embarrassed. He simply couldn't leave her alone. Shinichi was suddenly struck by said thought and knew his fears were confirmed when Ai spoke next.

"Leave me alone," she said quietly.

Shinichi shook his head and stood up. "No."

"I said I want to be alone. So leave," Ai said in a firm voice. "Please." It could've been a plea.

Shinichi shook his head again. "Never."

"You're a jackass." Ai turned and started walking away. "Fine. If you want to stay, I'm not going to stop you. Just." She threw out a frustrated wave that meant Leave me alone.

It didn't take many steps for Shinichi to catch up and spin her around. "What are you implying?"

"That you should leave a girl who wants to mourn alone."

"Should I _leave_ a girl who wants to mourn alone? Or should I leave a girl who wants to mourn, _alone_?"

Ai stared, surprised. Of course, she knew the answer, but she didn't expect him to catch on so quickly. Never look down on a guy who is called the savior of the Japanese police. Or whose goal is to become the modern day Holmes.

"It's not your fault for what happened—"

"I never said anything like that—"

"Well, that's what you're thinking!" Shinichi shouted. "And it's not. It's not your fault."

Ai shrugged Shinichi's hands off her shoulders. "You don't know anything."

"Try me."

Ai didn't reply, but she was trembling, although trying very hard not to.

"I am your left hand, Ai. Tell me. Don't cut it off. It'll hurt."

Ai glared, though she was impressed and surprised, for a second time.

"Hakase was like a grandfather to me," Shinichi continued. "You're not alone. Death...can be meaningless sometimes. And random."

"It's not meaningless. And it's not random!" Ai shouted, shattering at last. "Why and how... It's them! Stop denying yourself!"

"Then it's _their_ fault, not yours!"

"You don't understand!" She began acting like a misunderstood child and yanked her arm out of Shinichi's grasp.

"I do understand, and I can see why it's easy to think that way, but it's not—"

"It's because of me. It's because of me that I lost them. My family." Not just her blood family. "I'm not stupid! I know what's going on. I can analyze. I have a damned PhD! They lived, then they died, because I. Was. There."

Crouching down once more, Shinichi tried again and this time, she didn't resist. He held her tightly and let her weep on his shoulder. "It's not your fault," he kept muttering. "It's not your fault." As if it would undo something. "It's not your fault." And Ai pushed him away.

"Then whose is it?" Ai demanded, stopping her tears briefly as she felt anger. "I don't see any other logical alternative unless you want to take the blame for me." Shinichi only nodded. Anything. To steer her away from self-destruction. "You know? You're right. It's all your fault. You had to have a father who wrote mystery novels. You had to be so smart and so all-for-justice. You had to go on a date. You had to follow them. You had to survive APTX-4869. You had to continue pursuing them. You had to let me stay. Why?" The tears gushed out again. "Why did you have to let me stay? To let me live? To say you love me when I'm only a second choice? When you're not good enough for an angel?"

Shinichi was silent.

"I should kill you right here, right now." Ai took in a deep breath. "I don't even know why the hell I'm putting up with you. I just know I love you, I love you, I love you!" Ai flung her arms around Shinichi's neck and cried hard. Undone by her emotions, by the death, and by the thought of losing him. "Hakase is dead! Like everyone else!"

For such a long time, for so many things... she'd finally gotten rid of a tiny portion. He'd have to listen to more. Again and again. Harsh as it might seem.

She cried on his shoulder—him kneeling and her clutching onto him. She was so small.

And she did understand.

-x-

The night was long. At first, Ai kept waking up, checking to see if Shinichi was still there, if he was still alive. And each time, he'd give her a reassuring smile and a squeeze on her hand. She felt bad for disturbing his sleep (on a chair next to her bed), but even though the bed next to her was frighteningly empty, she objected to his usage of it.

In the end, he took her in his arms while they slept. Ai woke up less frequent afterwards and managed to get a couple hours of sleep without interruption by early morning. She was relieved that she could easily feel his heart thumping, being so close to him, for she knew it didn't take much for a chest to be as still and cold as a wall. Silent for eternity.

-x-

"Ai," Shinichi called out gently and touched Ai's forehead. Her eyes fluttered open and looked at him, although the gaze was unfocused due to morning sleepiness. He smiled. "How about you stay home today? I'll call the school. I'll stay, too."

"—time is it?" Ai sat up and glanced at the clock, still disoriented.

"You won't be late if you want to go to school. But are you sure? Do you feel well enough?"

Ai looked at Shinichi, as if she was having a hard time thinking straight. "You up for a while?" she asked, noticing his damp hair.

He nodded. "I even made breakfast, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to school. You're tired. And, well..."

"I'm fine," Ai said in a barely audible voice and climbed out of her bed, eyes fixed elsewhere.

Maybe, just maybe, it would be a better idea for her to be distracted for the day, Shinichi thought as he walked Ai to school. But there was only so much that Ai could handle right now. He looked at the strawberry blonde girl walking beside him, the girl who refused to let him carry her backpack for her or to be taken care of and who remained silent throughout breakfast, caught in her own thoughts. He wished she'd say something. Anything.

"Bye," she said softly and hurried her footsteps to join the Detective Boys at the school gate. She was smiling, but it was a pathetic attempt. Even before she reached the trio, Ayumi was wondering if Ai was ill again.

Shinichi stood afar, finally keeping in mind that he wasn't supposed to know the Detective Boys well, and watched with sadness as Ai's touch in masking herself slowly returned. It almost didn't surprised him that she managed to convince the three that she was perfectly fine. Morning sleepiness, she told them. Maybe she should go wash her face with cold water before class began.

They shouted a "Good morning" to "Shinichi-niisan" and headed toward the classroom building. The last thing Shinichi saw that morning of Ai was her genuine smile directed to him before she turned to walk up the stairs and disappeared into the building with the Detective Boys. He wanted to go in with them, to know how Ai was doing. But that was Edogawa Conan's position.

His classmates at Teitan High swarmed around him again, not believing he was attending class for two days in a row, whereas Ran sat quietly at her desk, reading and distancing herself from the rest of the class. From Shinichi. Her gaze, however, kept wandering off the page and toward the crowd by the door. When her eyes met Shinichi's, she looked away and pretended to concentrate on her reading. Sonoko took the scene in with raised eyebrows.

After his classmates left him alone, Shinichi pulled out his textbooks and notebooks from his bag, stopping the middle when his hand came in contact with Choi's laptop and a stack of paper stuffed into his bag earlier that morning. _APTX-4869_, he thought as he pulled out the stack of paper to study briefly before returning them into his backpack. _I can do it. I am Kudo Shinichi. _

-x-

They were having eel for lunch, much to Genta's delight. Mitsuhiko grumbled while Ayumi giggled at Genta's gleeful exclamation. Then Ayumi's smile dropped.

"Did Conan-kun call?" she asked. Ai didn't respond. Ayumi peered into Ai's face. "Ai-chan?"

"What?" Ai looked up, just realizing that Ayumi was talking to her.

"Did Conan-kun call?" Ayumi repeated.

Ai stared blankly at Ayumi's serious but miserable expression before fixing her gaze on her rice. "No," she said after some contemplation.

"Really?" Ayumi was skeptical, but her questioning tone wasn't harsh. Somehow, Ai-chan looked terrible today, and it didn't seem to be because of "morning sleepiness" anymore. Maybe Conan-kun really didn't call...

"He'll never call." Ai's voice was breaking. "Because he's a jerk!" she looked up abruptly and added with a bright smile.

The Detective Boys blinked and then decided it was typical Ai-behavior.

"Um," Mitsuhiko started and blushed when Ai's attention was on him. "Are you truly in love with Conan-kun?" he asked timidly, afraid of hearing the answer and afraid of not knowing the answer.

There was a pause as Ai was chewing. She shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Genta cried out in surprise and, with this outburst, some of his food were spit out unintentionally.

"Yuck, Genta-kun," the girl sitting at the next table commented and received a glare from Genta.

"Then does Conan-kun love you?" Ayumi asked.

"Maybe."

"But he said you were his girlfriend!" Mitsuhiko said.

"He did."

"So does he?"

"And do you?"

"What?"

"Love each other!" Ayumi and Mitsuhiko said in unison.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this anyway?" Genta asked.

Resting her head on one hand, Ai took another bite of her lunch, lost in her thoughts once again. "I don't know. Yes." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "But he's not calling."

Ayumi and Mitsuhiko exchanged a look. Ayumi frowned, scratched her head, and then smiled. "Ai-chan," she said, causing Ai to look up. "If he's not calling, then you can call him."

They didn't know what she was talking about. Ai sighed inwardly. Of course they wouldn't. But at least they didn't seem to be hating her. "Okay," she said at last, unsure of what to think. "I'll call him." Even if it was impossible. But it wasn't so bad after all, she decided when she returned a smile to the three of them. They were good people.

-x-

"Your new laptop?" Sonoko asked with her arms folded and loomed over Shinichi, who was sitting under a tree outside the building and looking frustrated.

"No, it's for the case I'm working on."

"Oh really," Sonoko bent down to examine the screen but frowned with annoyance when Shinichi brought the cover down and shut the laptop with a click. She squared her shoulders and snorted. "Fine. I could care less about the case anyway. But what happened between you and Ran?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing." Sonoko huffed. "That's what Ran told me, too, when I asked her. Would you care to elaborate, Sherlock?"

Shinichi didn't respond but continued to stare at the several people playing soccer in the field. 4869—Sherlock.

"What's this?" Sonoko pointed at the stack of paper lying on the ground and was about to pick them up to take a look when Shinichi snatched them away.

"Please, Suzuki Sonoko-san, I have work to do."

"Sonoko?" a voice came from behind and Sonoko looked up—Ran.

"Ran!" Sonoko shouted and rushed up to her best friend. "Go talk to him! Tell him all the sorrows in your heart!" She turned to Shinichi. "Hey you, jerk!"

"Do you happen to know what AI stands for, Ran?" Shinichi asked quietly, his brows creased. Ran and Sonoko were both taken aback by his question out of nowhere.

"AI?" Sonoko raised an eyebrow. "Ah! Wouldn't that spell out to be the romaji of 'love'?" Shinichi shook his head slightly. "Try English. Or French. Or Cantonese."

"Well," Ran said with a small smile while Sonoko stared at Shinichi as if he'd just lost it. "Artificial Intelligence, maybe?"

Shinichi looked up for the first time since Sonoko's arrival and stared at Ran in astonishment before resuming his work on the laptop. "Artificial Intelligence," he mumbled to himself. _That makes sense! AI. Something given up for humanity. AI._ He stared at the word document, which was password protected and titled 'AI.' Shuichi never said anything about a password protected document in Choi's laptop, and at first, he was frustrated that he couldn't access the document, but now... "AI... Ai..." How was Ai doing at school?

"What, are you interested in science fiction now? That's new..." Sonoko blabbed on about Shinichi's stupidity for not knowing AI, declared Shinichi's failure, denounced his insensitivity on Ran's feelings...

"Was I of any help, Shinichi?" Ran asked. "Shinichi?"

"Yes! Thank you very much!" Shinichi shut the laptop, grabbed the stack of paper that he'd stolen—borrowed from Ai, and jumped up. "Thank you!" He gave a quick pat on Ran's shoulder and rushed into the building.

Ran was happy to know that she had helped him. She didn't want to be a burden, Shinichi thought as he raced up the stairs. She believed that Ai was a detective. She still believed, she was still full of hope... What would happen if he told her the second half of the truth? After entering the classroom, Shinichi sank into his seat and reflected on everything that'd happened since he returned, imagined what would happen from then on.

AI, AI. He didn't give a damn about AI, about Choi, about the Organization... Maybe he should cook chicken soup for Ai tonight.

-x-

Shinichi found Ai sitting on the steps outside of the house when he returned. He'd gone to Teitan Elementary to fetch her, but her classmates told him that she'd already left. He wasn't surprised that she was sitting outside. Her face was buried in her hands. He took a seat beside her on the steps.

"How was your day?" He wondered afterwards why he'd wanted to pick up a conversation at all.

"I heard hakase on the way back," Ai said, words muffled. Shinichi's eyes widened. "But he wasn't there. I'm hallucinating already..."

So that was it, huh. Shinichi sighed. "You're not alone, Ai."

There was a long moment of silence. "Of course I'm not alone. There're some 15 billion people on Earth. I'm not alone."

"That's not what I meant!" Shinichi said, a little angry.

Ai lifted her head and leaned against Shinichi with her eyes shut, as if she wanted to take a nap. "Do you have water?"

"We could go inside to get some," Shinichi suggested.

Ai opened her eyes and paused. "Okay."

-x-

"Here you go," Shinichi said with a smile as he handed a glass of water to Ai when they were in the kitchen.

Ai popped something into her mouth and swallowed it with the water.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Shinichi yelled and snatched the almost-empty glass of water away from Ai. "What did you just swallow?" he demanded.

"Antidote," Ai said, sounding the same as how Shinichi dismissively told Sonoko "nothing."

"Did you think I'd let you carry out your plan to turn back into Conan? Stop messing around!"

Shinichi was stunned. "You knew." Ai made no response. "But when was the antidote made?"

Ai shook her head and was overwhelmed by the pain surging through her body.

_Time moves forward, and will only move forward. But we don't. _

-x-

The union that night was probably partly out of guilt. Shiho never said anything. He was still used to calling her Ai, but she didn't seem to mind. Things had been done, words had been spoken. Once was enough. He told her not to shy away from her fate. He shouldn't either. As he lied there at night, he thought, _Life goes on. In the world around you._ The bridge was crossed and destroyed, with two on one side. And nothing else mattered—God, Devil, them, us, him, her...

His Ai, his only ai.

-x-

(END)


End file.
